The other day I sat in the Student Union surrounded by Scripps students desperately trying to finish a CS5 problem set. We were working together, asking questions, offering help, and doing all of it unapologetically. As we were finishing up, I asked the group what I should write my blog post about for the week. One of the most intelligent and motivated women I know responded immediately, “IMPOSTER SYNDROME.” Everyone agreed emphatically.

The woman who said that is a senior who I’m incredibly lucky to call my friend. She’s finished her thesis. She has an amazing job secured, a job that she’s excited about, and a job that she’ll be so good at. Nonetheless, she’s the one who suggested that I write about imposter syndrome.

This group of students helped me finish a problem I had absolutely no idea how to solve. One student, who had never met me before, talked me through the calculus involved in one problem, and several other students admonished me every time I said something along the lines of, “Sorry… Math isn’t my thing.” Even still, they wanted me to write about imposter syndrome…

Last semester, Peggy McIntosh was on campus and I had the opportunity to sit in on her “fraudulence and imposter syndrome” workshop. It was life changing, and I’m not exaggerating.

I’d always assumed that imposter syndrome is something that I need to overcome. Maybe I just need to “lean in.” I can’t think like this; I have to think like a man would. I’ll act like the men do because that’s how I’ll move up; when I get there, I’ll finally be confident.

That’s not how McIntosh encouraged us to think about imposter syndrome.

She explained that she understands imposter syndrome by using a Möbius strip, which takes two “opposing” sides, and puts them on the same side.

Definitive proof that crafts always look better on Pinterest…

But hopefully you get the idea.

On her strip you can read, “We must not let them make us feel like frauds,” followed by, “Let us continue to spot fraudulence in the public roles we are asked to play.” To McIntosh, it’s not about ridding ourselves of imposter feelings entirely; we should absolutely work to fight against it (and all oppressions for that matter), but we should also acknowledge fraudulent feelings and question expectations that require someone to be “an expert” or be “the best”

This brings up another idea that she emphasized: we can all feel fraudulent in some ways. There’s a stereotype that imposter syndrome is for women, but like so many assumptions, we’re lacking quite a few intersections with that statement. Everyone can feel like a fraud sometimes, whether they are my brilliant friend who suggested this topic in the first place, the supportive Scripps students who got me through that problem set, or the kid in your CS5 class who is always first to respond to a question. They all feel like frauds too occasionally.

Sometimes feeling like an imposter makes me work harder, sometimes it helps me connect with people, and other times it keeps me from applying for a job I desperately want… So don’t get me wrong, imposter syndrome isn’t fun and I think if I had the choice, I’d rather get rid of it. But I don’t have that choice, so I’m going to take McIntosh’s advice. I’m going to do my best not to let them make me feel like a fraud, but I’m not going to stop noticing the fraudulence demanded by society.

So, yeah, sometimes I feel like an imposter, like they’re going to find me out, but I remind myself that I’m not the only one thinking that. My closest friends, other 5C students, my bosses, CEOs, and probably even the recruiters interviewing me feel like a fraud sometimes. EVEN PEGGY MCINTOSH, WHO HAS WRITTEN SOME OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL ESSAYS ABOUT INTERSECTIONAL FEMINISM, FEELS LIKE A FRAUD. I guess this all means that it’s ok to feel like an imposter, just know that the person next to you feels it too, and that just because you feel it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve the opportunities you have. So keep it up, they’re not going to find you out.