Have you ever noticed that this whole job/internship search process is a lot like dating? You express interest in someone, have a few extended conversations to see if personalities click, and there’s eventually a proposal. (Ok, maybe that’s a little quick, but you get the idea.) You get butterflies when there’s a company you’re particularly excited about; you get excited thinking about your future together; you look forward to the ways that you will help each other become better. Unfortunately this comparison extends to the bad things… and that includes The Breakup.
Today I broke up with the company that I thought I wanted to work for. In fact, about 6 months ago I was convinced that I was going to be working there. But like our dating lives, a lot can change in 6 months. Breakups aren’t fun, very few people actually enjoy them, but sometimes they are necessary. My (organizational) breakup was necessary, and I’d like to tell you why in hopes that it can help you at some point.
The Process
The application/interview/negotiation process can tell you a lot about an organization. Yes, you are doing what you can to impress them, but they should also be trying to impress you. You should follow all the networking rules and make them feel special, and they should treat you with respect and spend time showing you their best qualities. (See? Dating. Totally dating.)
The Right Place
I might be a little idealistic, but go with me for a sec. I feel like there is a right place for me. There are certain qualities that I’m looking for in an organization, and while part of me wants to settle because I desperately want a job, I’m also trying to maintain some standards. I think this is an ok thing to do because a company wants to find candidates who fit with their organizational culture as well. So if you’re breaking up with the company because it doesn’t feel like the right place it might be best for everyone.
The People
I’m not the kind of person who wants to be best friends with everyone I work with; I have great friends, I don’t expect this relationship to provide for all my needs. (Hehe, see what I did there?) That said, I want to look forward to going to work, and that has a lot to do with the organizational culture, but also the people. If everyone I work with is heads down all day, eating lunch alone, leaving right at 5pm, and never telling me my hair looks good (or doesn’t look good, for that matter), I probably don’t want to work there. We don’t have to be besties, but I do want to have some fun! (Even if that means making fun of me…)
The Gut Feeling
Honestly, if it doesn’t feel right anymore, that says something. That was the biggest sign for me. You can trust your gut feelings; you have them for a reason. If you feel like the organization isn’t the place for you, you don’t need any excuses, rationalizations, or justifications. You are the only one who needs to be convinced.
Ultimately, my prospective organization did not come through for me in all of these ways, so I severed ties nicely; our friendship might be awkward for a few weeks, but our mutual friends won’t have to stress about inviting both of us to parties in the future. We might even introduce each other to new prospective partners; just because they weren’t right for me doesn’t mean they won’t work well for someone else.
So, in the wise words of Emma Stone (in Friends with Benefits):
**Organization Name Here**, it’s not you…
