I’ve always been a bit of a lone wolf, even a rebel. There’s a strong instinct within me to go in the opposite direction of my peers, or of my family’s expectations for me. There are perks to my contrariness. I’m creative, a good problem solver, and I’m loyal to my passions.

However, it can also come at a cost. I sometimes have a hard time joining group activities, I rapidly change my mind if I feel like I’m going too much with the status quo, and I can occasionally come off as a bit bristly.

Over the years I’ve learned that key to career and academic success is learning to navigate these pro’s and con’s.

For me, rebelliousness is only one of many quirks I have (albeit, probably the most noticeable of them). But the fact is that everyone, like me, has a character trait that can both pose challenges for them and aid them in all areas of their life, including their relationships, academics and, most important to consider here at Beyond The Elms, their career. This is the reason why job interviewers notoriously ask the “what is one of your weaknesses” question (and why they aren’t looking for the glib “I’m too much of a perfectionist” answer).

*Not* what self-awareness looks like

Ignoring these quirks doesn’t make them go away, and can even make it more difficult to address their potential negative impacts on your career trajectory. Self awareness is an important piece of being successful, independent, responsible, and even happy. The idea isn’t to make your “quirks” go away, but to figure out how to manage them in the best way possible. Here are a few tips I have:

Get comfortable with taking a good hard look at yourself. Self awareness can suck. It can be deeply uncomfortable to come to terms with the pieces of our personality that can potentially make us difficult for others. It’s also not something that comes easily in our culture. In the USA especially, we have a reflexive tendency to want to put a positive spin on everything, and ignore anything that might be unpleasant or potentially negative. But after a while, being honest with yourself gets easier, and with that growth comes a lot of maturity.

Have a sense of humor. My mom’s from Northern England, and has the notorious self-deprecating sense of humor that you would expect from a Brit. In England, potentially the worst social faux pas you can make is by taking yourself too seriously. Unfortunately, this is a character trait the Brits associate with Americans. While I’m not saying that you should develop the knee-jerk self-belittlement of my mom’s fellow countrymen (and women), being honest with others and with yourself gets a little easier if you’re not afraid to tell a few jokes at your own expense (just remember that there’s an appropriate place and time for these jokes. Hint: a job interview’s probably not it).

Think about the ways in which a particular trait might help (and hinder) you in the job market. There’s a good chance that any particular piece of your personality has a roughly equal number of pros and cons. Think about the ways in which your tendencies make you a good friend, make you a more responsible employee, and a better student. Then think about the ways in which you struggle in these areas because of a particular trait. If you’re a visual person, try journaling about it with a pros and cons list. Doing so will help you recognize both your strengths and weaknesses.
Self awareness means recognizing both the positive, and the negative. In the end, doing so will help you figure out the best fit career for your personality, strengthen your resumes and interviews, and make you a more reliable student, employee, and friend.