CP&R Blogger Dani shares her thoughts on dealing with grief in the workplace

Source: Faces and Voices of Recovery Website

Death is one of those confusing and abstract forces that affects individuals in such varied and tangible ways. It can be extremely painful, and at times it can seem to permeate and envelop our entire beings.

We all have likely lost one or more loved ones at some point or another. Perhaps it never gets easier with each loss, but perhaps things get easier over time as we find new ways to deal with grief and negative emotions that once seemed to be all-consuming. Everyone deals with grief differently, and the stages, emotions, and thought-processes can not be necessarily tightly summarized into a linear progression. Suffering is valid in any and all of its manifestations, and you should never apologize for your pain; it is what makes you human.

One odd thing about death that I often think about is how disheartening it can feel when life keeps going and you are forced to keep going as well, even when all you want to do is just curl up in a ball and tune the world out. Even when it feels like the world you know is ending, in actuality, the sun keeps rising, the birds keep chirping, and your heart keeps beating. As I’m sure many of us have experienced, It can prove really difficult to resume daily life and become re-absorbed in one’s usual routine when such a large-scale disruption occurs. Dealing with grief in the workplace or in any other professional environment can be another added layer of exhausting, on top of just trying to get through the day. Many bloggers and writers have addressed this topic, and many experts have empirically noted the general lack of focus and productivity that often occurs when someone is grappling with loss. For example, a 2003 “Grief index study,” found that seventy five percent of study participants indicated that their productivity was limited significantly beyond the amount of time they were allowed to take off. In addition, when participants were asked to estimate the number of days “lost” as a result of decreased focus, 50 percent reported that this translated over to at least 30 days, and 20 percent reported that it translated to significantly longer than that. These “lost” days are not only painful, but also dangerous, and can result in poor decision-making, poor supervisory skills, and increased workplace accidents and injuries.

Nothing can completely remove the aching pain of a loss, but managers, supervisors, professors, presidents, etc. can always perform small acts of kindness and compassion that may help alleviate some pain and discomfort. For example, in a blog article titled “How to Handle and Help with Workplace Grief,” helpful tips and guides for both supervisors and co-workers are provided. One of the tips provided for bosses was to evaluate the grieving employee’s workload and distribute tasks among other employees, as well as to cancel or reschedule any necessary meetings during the employee’s absence. The key thing is to be flexible, and to expect productivity, but to acknowledge that cognitive skills and focus will likely be decreased for awhile. On a personal note, it can be helpful and thoughtful for a supervisor and an employer team to send flowers or a card to show that they care and are thinking of the bereaved employee.

And while it is not always feasible to for employees or students to take large chunks of time off from work or school, it is important for individuals to know themselves and their needs, and to assess if taking time off to properly grieve would beneficial for the mental, spiritual and physical health, or if resuming daily life and using it as a distraction would be more effective in the long run.

In essence, however an individual chooses to grieve, it is vital that they know they are not alone, and that there are often plenty of friends, family, and professionals who are there to listen and provide solace. Employers, employees, and students alike should remember that work and productivity are important, but so is mental and physical health.  

Sources:

Davidson, Sloane. “How to Handle and Help with Workplace Grief.” Modern Loss. Modernloss, 15 Jan. 2016. Web. 21 Mar. 2017.

Johnson, Judith. “The Death and Dying Series Part Two: Grief in the American Workplace.” The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 03 Feb. 2012. Web. 21 Mar. 2017.