I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called Crohn’s disease when I was nine years old. While I have been very involved in non-profit work for organizations what benefit people with Crohn’s disease, I’ve never been one to let my disease define who I am. However, my health has been on the rocks and at the forefront of my mind lately. I never really thought that it would impact the success of my future, but a recent conversation with my mom got me thinking about how my experience in the corporate world may be different from the experience others have, because I have a chronic disease.

My parents made me go to school every day. As long as I wasn’t in the hospital, I set my alarm, got up, got dressed and got on the bus. There was never any telling how long I’d stay there. Some days, I’d call my mom ten minutes after getting off the bus, asking her to come pick me up. Some days, plug through the whole day feeling absolutely awful. And others, I’d get to school, see my friends, get caught up in work and start to feel a whole lot better. That being said, while dealing with one of the worst flares I’ve had in about five years, I’ve tried to do what I’ve done for most of my life: get up and go to school. Recently, however, I was feeling really, really crummy. My class was going to start in about 10 minutes. My rescue meds weren’t working and I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. I called my mom for some miracle advice and she responded with, “Just go to class. It will be over in an hour and then you can go back to bed.” That wasn’t enough to convince me. Then, she added, “You know, you’re going to have a job one day. And, you’re going to have to show up.” That was it. I got out of bed. Threw on some “acceptable” clothes and powered through class. Yes, throughout my life with Crohn’s I’ve learned the lesson of showing up. I’ve learned about what works for me. I know that if I can make it to class and listen to a lecture, I will feel much less stressed and overwhelmed in the future. But, I was caught off guard by this comment because I never thought about how this disease might impact me when I’m a real adult with real adult responsibilities. This stressed me out. Sure, I like to plan ahead and think about my future. It had never occurred to me that somewhere in the very distant future there is a very really possibility that I am going to need to go to work and I am not going to feel well. This got me thinking about some of the ways I might be more prepared to deal with the situation that I had thought.

In dealing with being sick this semester I have learned more than ever how to advocate for myself. I’ve learned how to work with the Dean of Students Office and Professors when I have a problem. I know that when I have a career I am going to need to communicate with my colleagues and bosses. I am going to need to be up front and open about my situation, because trying to deal with it myself will just lead to confusion and miscommunication. If I am honest and open about what’s going on I could potentially save a lot of awkward situation if for instance I couldn’t eat what was served at the important staff lunch. But, this all leads me to a huge question I have: when and where is it appropriate to tell people in a work environment? In the interview process? Once I’ve been hired? When I get sick? In my case, my disease is such an interwoven part of my life and there are so many experiences I’ve had because of it that I usually comes up very quickly after meeting people, I’m just never really sure how to approach the subject in a professional setting.

So, I guess I still have a lot of thinking to do on this topic. I want to be clear that I’m not sharing this story because I feel as though my life may be harder than anybody else’s. It will be different. But, when it comes down to it, everyone has their “stuff” that makes their different, difficult or challenging. Just because my “stuff” happens to be a diagnosed chronic disease that doesn’t mean that it’s any easier or harder to get through than anyone else. And, when it comes down to it, everybody’s “stuff” adds to who they are. I suspect that a lot of the problems I’ve tackled while living with a chronic disease have added to my passions and interests in the future. So, whatever your “stuff” is, I hope you find a way to confront it, learn from it and let it shape your future.

I am currently participating in the Humanities Institute Junior Scholars Program, Social Media and Social Change: Negotiating Access, Control and Unrest in the Information Age. For my final project, I am creating a series of Vlogs about life as a college student with a chronic disease. If your interested to know more about my life with Crohn’s disease please check out my first video here. The next one will be posted shortly!