Cookie Cutters, Time Machines, and Lots and Lots of Questions

If, someday, I miraculously came into contact with a working, reliable, and free-to-use time machine, you better believe I would make the most of it. Ultimately, I would probably want to go back and give myself some advice on how to make the most of high school, college, and everything in between (first tip would be to my 8th grade self: girl, please let a professional handle your eyebrows this early in the game…..seriously). Now that I’m a senior, and the end of my time at Scripps rapidly draws nearer and nearer, I think I’m pretty qualified to go back and give myself some guidance, especially considering everything that I have learned since starting my first day of high school all those years ago. Sure, I think I handled myself decently well, particularly through some of those awkward years I know we’d all like to forget happened (braces and bad haircuts a terrible sense of fashion, oh my) but there is always some room for improvement. That is why–with the gift of hindsight–I know that, if I had the chance, I’d definitely want to do some of it all over again, and that is precisely the kind of guidance I would want to give young Dorie.

For one thing, the idea that there is any kind of ‘one size fits all’ life plan should be thrown out the window. I remember starting high school and thinking that I would totally have my entire life figured out by the time I graduated–complete with a dream career goal, a solid understanding of myself and what I wanted out of life, and a definite knowledge of where my life was headed. Well, I can confidently say that literally none of those things happened once I crossed the graduation stage with my diploma in hand, and to think that I actually thought it was possible to have all of that figured out at age 18 is just silly to me. I mean, I’m well on my way to turning 22, and I still don’t think I have any of that stuff figured out–nor should I have to! But, again, that’s the beauty of hindsight.

Now, this is not to say that there aren’t people out there who do have their lives all spelled out, with a strong understanding of self, and a feasible and well-structured life plan just waiting to be executed. I know plenty of people, in both high school and in college, that firmly believe in what they are doing, know where they’re going, and are very happy in their decision to follow that path. These kinds of people are amazing! In fact, I used to envy these people, so much so that I tried my hardest to emulate them: picking a specific job title and basing my whole academic and extracurricular life around it, only to quickly realize that that path was not the right one for me. And, the thing is, it’s not the right path for a lot of people–yet we are constantly expected to know the answers to these kinds of things, and make big life choices that will absolutely affect us for the rest of our life before many of us even know what we really want.

It seems to me that my life has been a series of questions since I became a junior in high school: first, it started off with, “So, what colleges are you looking into? Do you know what you want to major in yet?” Then, first semester senior year of high school, it moved into the always enjoyable (especially the 476th time someone asks it–so, so much fun!!!) “So where are you applying? Do you know where you’re going for college? Have you heard back from any schools?” As high school graduation drew near, the questions became more pointed: “Where are you going? Where did you get into? What are you going to study? Did you tour there? Aren’t you excited?” Once I had graduated high school, I naively thought the questions would stop–little did I know that I would be peppered by these same kinds of questions for the next 4 years, varying only slightly to encompass the next big stage of adult life: post-grad plans.

The problem I have with all these kinds of questions is that they inherently equate success and maturity with having a clear and dependable life plan. There is no wiggle room left for the natural uncertainty and feelings of apprehension that–realistically–we have all probably felt when making such huge life decisions at such an important time in our life. I think the constant battery of these questions as we are growing up (for me, these questions started around junior year of high school, but depending on the individual, can often start even before that) has an extremely detrimental effect on the way in which we think we need to function. Had I focused more on exploring my passions and learning more about what I wanted in life, rather than following the standard “X number of AP classes + Y grade point average + Z elected positions on campus = successful high school student” formula that is pushed on us more and more these days, I would most likely be a very different person than who I am today; I might even be a little more secure in knowing exactly what it is I want to get out of life, and who I want to be outside of the bubble of the education system–something I didn’t let myself even question until I stepped on campus and realized how much I had been limiting myself.

What I know now is that there is no cookie-cutter formula to success, and no singular “right” way to get yourself through high school, through college, and out into the real world. There are certainly things that make it easier–like time management, motivation, a strong support system, etc.–but even with these helpful supplements, thinking that everyone needs to do X, Y, and Z in order to be “successful” is one of the most damaging and constricting notions that is repeatedly pushed upon us, and something I think desperately needs addressing.

That’s the advice I would give young Dorie if I could go back in time–if you had the chance, what would you want to say to your past self?

Combating the 40 Hour Blues

When I was in high school, I always argued with my parents about who had it harder. I was pretty sure that I did– I started school at 7:30 in the morning, often getting home at 6 or 7 after extracurriculars, only to be faced with a mountain of homework. Even on my lazy senior schedule of 7:30am-1:30pm, I was convinced that being a student was harder than being an adult worker. Maybe that was true in high school, with back to back classes and 7 classes worth of homework every night.

But I can definitely say that working 40 hours a week this summer has been more taxing than my first year of college. I definitely worked a lot my first year at Scripps, but the rhythm suited me. I woke up around 8:30, ate a leisurely breakfast, and had plenty of time to do reading, problem sets, and work on essays between classes and my work in Scripps IT Department. I saw my friends (especially the roomies) throughout the day, and almost always paused work for a long, social dinner. After 9 or 10, I declared my working brain dead, and did only fun things before I slept. I was remarkably unstressed compared to high school, and although I worked more and played less during finals and midterms, I was always surrounded by friends, in a beautiful environment, and could wear the comfiest or cutest clothes I wanted.

My work this summer has not been stressful–it’s an incredibly supportive environment, very focused on learning and professional growth for interns. But the rhythm of the “normal adult work week” , and the office environment, has been getting me down. I’m in a grey cubicle, in a huge windowless room, for most of my day. After work, I’m often ready to collapse in my bed, but I also desperately want social interaction with people my own age. That’s not as easy as it is at school, where everyone’s a 3 minute walk away (or zero minutes, when it comes to my lovely, lovely roomies). The weekends feel like they pass too quickly.

I still have a lot of professional interests that point at a 40 hour workweek for most of my future. So I’ve been trying to develop strategies to feel good on the grind.

1. Exercise! One of the great perks of my workplace is a free office gym, which is right next to my workspace. I’ve been going pretty regularly after work for the last week, and I feel great. I’ve been coming home after my workouts with much more energy to go out or get things done at home. Even just 30 minutes helps me transition out of late afternoon stupor.

2. Purposeful socializing I’m used to plans just falling into place casually, but when my free time is so limited–and many of my friends are also working–it takes a little more forethought. I’ve met up with friends working nearby for lunch, or to hang out right after work. I’ve been filling my weekends and nights much more than I’m used to. I’m an introvert, so usually I’m cautious about wearing myself out with too many plans. So when I feel super worn out, I just have one-on-one hangouts with people I don’t have to impress. It satisfies my people need without overwhelming me.

3. Sleep Sleep deprivation makes me grumpy and stressed and prone to eating sugary foods which exacerbate that mood. Sleep is great! It’s like free coffee.

4. Tea and snacks I love jasmine tea. Jasmine tea smells great, keeps me alert, and generally just keeps happiness levels high. There’s a water cooler with a hot faucet near me, so I make tea constantly. I also make sure to have little snacks on hand–Luna bars, veggies, sesame sticks, and beef jerky. I’ve found that a big lunch makes me sleepy, and then hungry two hours later. Snacks keep my energy levels constant throughout the day.

5. Books No, I don’t read at work, but my commute and time at home are so enriched by reading. I started with The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson, which is like female empowerment steampunk-y scifi. Now I’m switching back and forth between Cryptonomicon, by the same author, and God in Search of Man: A Philosophy of Judaism by Abraham Joshua Heschel. Even though my work is super interesting, it helps me to engage my brain with something totally unrelated. (I’m also watching multivariable calculus lectures online in preparation for fall semester. Yay for different modes of thinking!)

What are your happy strategies? 

Grown-up? There’s an app for that…

I’m incredibly lucky to have my parents. I never had to read a map, because they are really good at directions so I could always call them to ask how to get to places. My mom keeps track of ALL THE PLANS when we travel. My dad knows way too much about stocks and investments for someone who doesn’t work in business. However, I’m pretending to be a grown-up (not “adult,” because it sounds scary) now, so I’m trying to learn these skills. But I’ve realized that my parents make it look way easier than it actually is.

But it’s ok, because I discovered that, there’s an app for that. (Actually, there are several… And they are hyperlinked below to help you find them!) With the help of these apps, I’ve found that I can pretend to be half as competent as my parents. (Unless my phone breaks, then I’ve got nothing, because then I can’t even call them!)

1) Mint keeps track of all my money things. I have it synced with my bank accounts, investment accounts, and credit cards. I can set budgets and keep track of my income. Plus, it sends me a weekly financial summary as well as articles relevant to my financial situation!

2) 1Password lets me make up the craziest passwords, and remember them. *GASP* All of my accounts got about 10,000x safer when I downloaded this app because I didn’t have to use passwords like my birthday, since I knew it was probably the only thing I would remember.

3) *Insert your bank name or credit card company here* and get their app. You can deposit checks, look at your balance, find the nearest ATM, receive credit limit and fraud alerts, and probably so many other things I don’t even know about.

4) Tripit plays Mom’s role whenever I’m traveling without her and keeps track of all of my travel plans. I can save all plane, train, hotel, restaurant, etc. reservations under one trip and then all I have to do to find them is open the app! No more searching through emails to find the flight confirmation number 1 minute before you have to check in for your Southwest flight!

5) Yelp finds all of the delicious places I want to eat, and I can set ideal price ranges so that I don’t upset my Mint app’s budgets. Plus, it’s great if you’re moving to a new city and need to know the closest and best places around, from markets to salons!

6) Google Maps does its best to keep me from getting lost when I’m trying to find the places my Yelp app recommended; although my spatial reasoning still leaves something to be desired. It’s particularly helpful when navigating public transport in new cities! Also, it can do traffic updates for you for those who like to drive.

7) LinkedIn accounts should be acquired as we consider entering “the real world” and if you have the app, you can receive notifications on your phone, so you’re always networking!

8) Evernote is a helpful note-taking app because it syncs with all of your devices. This way you don’t have to worry about finally making it to Target, only to realize you forgot your list at home.

9) Dropbox has saved me countless times since I downloaded it last summer. There’s no worse feeling than walking into your class and realizing you forgot to print out your paper. Luckily with Dropbox, I just had to run up to the computer lab, open my Dropbox, and print it there! Also, if you have the app on your phone, it can put pictures from your camera roll into your Dropbox, so you don’t have to plug it in to sync your pictures!

10) Zooborns (iOS, Android) is crucial, because who doesn’t like cute baby animals? (And we don’t wanna grow up too quickly…)

Are there any apps that I’ve left out that have helped you fake-it-til-you-make-it-to-adulthood? Put them in the comments!