Medical School or a Masters Program?

Happy Wednesday Scrippsies! I’m sure the weather is as beautiful as ever, but it’s been pretty cloudy in Dublin and I am definitely missing the sunshine.

  vs.  As promised, I will be sharing with you my list of pros and cons that I’ve made for myself regarding medical school. It ended up morphing into a list of things that I want from a job and questions I had about whether or not my life goals would fit into the timeline that medical school inserts into your life. Without further ado:

What do I want from my job?

-I want to be challenged daily

-I want to work with people, preferably kids

-I want to be able to help people

-I don’t want to do the same thing every single day

-I want to develop a relationship with the people I work with

What do I want out of my 20’s? Could medical school hinder those plans?

-I want the opportunity to travel

-I eventually want a family

Although this is a pretty short list at this point, it has given me a good idea of whether or not the medical field might be right for me. I believe that most of the things I want from my job would be fulfilled by working in medicine, which is promising.

Being away from Scripps, surrounded by new people, I’ve had the chance to reflect on myself in a completely new way and find that I am more sure of myself and my abilities as a student and more confident in who I am as a person than I might’ve realized at Scripps. I think that these are key qualities for anyone working in medicine, which is also promising.

Besides medicine, I have also been considering a Masters program, run by MIT, that specializes specifically in teaching students how to communicate science to the general public. I’d be particularly interested in examining how this sort of communication, be it writing, museum exhibits, or other forms of technology, can be geared towards kids. The program is only nine months and connects graduates with a local business or corporation at the end, with examples such as The Boston Globe and Boston Children’s Hospital. This program is of interest to me because of the interdisciplinary approach taken to science and the arts. I have also felt torn between the two worlds and this program seems to offer a solution to the strain I often feel.

Working with kids this summer at a summer day camp, I knew that I needed to find a way to incorporate working with kids into my future occupation. At the start of the summer, I assumed that I would get bored of watching them at a certain point, or run out of things to do with them, but they always kept things lively and interesting and I always looked forward to going to work. That was the first time that I felt so certain about my future and why I would hope to work with kids if I choose to work in medicine.

Based on what I’ve just written, it’s easy to see that I am conflicted about what my future might, or should, hold. But knowing that that’s okay and giving myself time to really think about what I want for my future is comforting.

Have any stories or questions about your own path, or just want someone to bounce ideas off of? Shoot me an email, or comment below! I’d love to hear from you! ([email protected])

A Whirlwind Summer and an Uncertain Future

Hello Scripps!! Welcome back to campus! I hope everyone is settling in and getting excited for an amazing semester. I will be off campus, studying abroad in Dublin, Ireland this fall and am very excited to blog about my experiences there. In addition to blogging about my time abroad, I will be blogging about my experiences this summer. I am a chemistry major and physics is one of the many requirements needed to graduate. I knew that I wouldn’t have room for it in my schedule during the school year, so I decided to take it over the summer. In addition to this summer class, I worked three different jobs, that have given way to several new potential career paths that I’m excited to share. Even though this summer was full of new experiences, I am feeling just as unsure as ever about what my path will be after graduation. In this first post, I wanted to discuss how I’ve been dealing with this uncertainty and how I think that, in many ways, it’s actually a good thing.

Ever since I was in elementary school, I can remember talking about college with my parents. It was always something I had heard about, knowing that it was something that would likely make getting a job easier and would help me financially. I knew that it was a part of my future and that my parents would support me in getting there. When I was a sophomore in high school, my family and I visited colleges during our Thanksgiving vacation and again during spring break of my junior year. By the fall of my senior year, I was applying to colleges, talking about my top choices, and what it would be like once I was on campus. I was always ready to go off to college and that plan was always secure in my mind. I realize, now that I am not so certain about my future, that I really latched onto this plan. It became something that I never had to worry about because I already knew what was going to happen.

As the summer is coming to an end, I find myself questioning the classes I’ve taken while at Scripps, the major I’ve chosen, and the path I will take in the future. Having a future that is so wide open is a new experience for me, and not one that I am particularly comfortable in. As of right now, I am trying to be okay with the fact that I have no solidified plans for myself. The world is my oyster, as they say. I know for a fact that I would not have had many of the experiences and job opportunities I had this summer if I hadn’t been open to the idea of trying something new. That is the best piece of advice I can give anyone in college, and the best advice I can give myself: be open to trying new things. Although it may sound cliche, there are so many opportunities that college will present to you, and it’s important to take advantage of as many as you can. You really never know what you’ll like until you try it.

All In This Together

First of all, hello! My name is Dorie, and this is my first blog post for the site. I’m so excited to be a part of this team of insanely smart, talented, wonderful, blogging ladies! I thought I’d keep the topic of my first post close to my own heart, by touching on a very important issue that can sometimes be overlooked in times of heavy stress (hello, thesis!!!): having a strong support system.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in one of those unfortunate, black and white infomercials where nothing is going right.

I feel you, girl.

As a senior (…it still sounds so weird to me), I feel like every time I see a fellow student—be it in-between classes, briefly in the dining halls, or loitering around Seal Court—the conversation goes something like this:

One of us: Oh hey, how’s it going?

The other one of us: *Dying whale noises, accompanied by various hand gestures indicating both complete exhaustion and an inability to properly articulate how busy everything is right now*

It boggles my mind how much we are expected to be juggling right now: thesis (for all of you taking it on this semester), all the work for our other classes, part-time jobs, thinking about and making plans for our futures, figuring out finances, applying to grad school, finding careers, moving across the country/world, networking, interviewing—not to mention the social and personal lives we are trying to maintain in the meantime! Between relationships, friendships, family things, and all the aforementioned things, it’s really quite overwhelming how much we have on our plates these days. This is not to say that only the senior students are feeling this way: definitely not the case. For me, it just seems like I am at this giant precipice in my life, and the various pressures that are pushing and pulling me one way or another can sometimes feel suffocating, limiting, and totally disheartening.

When I start to feel this way—sometimes hopeless, and often times lost in this sea of responsibilities, expectations, and life decisions I will have to make eventually—all I have to do is remember what that wise sage Troy Bolton once sang to me, all those years ago: “we’re all in this together.” Amidst all the midterms, thesis deadlines, and job applications, it is so easy to feel like these struggles are unconquerable, and that everyone around you is, somehow, handling everything just fine, while you are drowning under the sheer weight of everything you need to do each week. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not just you. In fact, I’m here to tell you that you are probably handling everything way better than you’re giving yourself credit for. Trust me.

It is so important to remember that, as overwhelming as everything might feel right now, there are so, so many resources on this campus that are here to make your life easier. I’m not just talking about Scripps resources—although there are tons that you can definitely take advantage of (like the CP&R office!)—I’m talking about the strong, powerful individuals you have been learning, living, and laughing with for the entirety of your life here at Scripps. Be it the people you live with now, a study group you are a part of, or your roommate from freshman year that now lives across campus, there are people all around you, both on-campus and off, that are more than willing to help you through these tough times, if you give them the chance.

Look, I know better than anyone that asking for help can be scary—there is a certain vulnerability and weakness about opening up that can sometimes discourage you from getting the academic, mental, and emotional support you might really need, especially when the going gets tough. But, just remember that you’re not alone in feeling stressed, or inadequate, or even that there is no way you’re going to be able to finish this thesis by the second week of December (although this last one might be a little biased). And, if getting the support you need comes from someone that isn’t a part of the Scripps community—such as your family, or your friends from high school—that’s not weird, I promise, just do whatever you have to do! Checking in with your friends and family on how you’re doing can feel so reassuring, and even if you might not know how to begin the conversation, you will definitely feel better after the conversation ends.

So, just remember, we’re all in this together, even if it doesn’t feel like it. The next time you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, try and remember what a good friend of mine once said: “It’s okay to have no idea!” Just as countless numbers of students have done before you, you will make it through this. Will there be ups and downs? Absolutely. Will there be highs and lows? No doubt about it. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, and there are more people than you can probably think of who are all rooting for you, and are more than willing to go out of their way to help you get there. All you have to do is let them.

(Did you really think I could end this post without leaving this here for your viewing pleasure??? Please. You’re welcome.)

Follow Your Passion vs. Follow Your Effort

If there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that music will always be in my life. I started playing the viola when I was 8, back in the days when my parents appreciated my practicing through a closed door. Through a terrible group string instructor (the first class I ever skipped) and an ultimatum from a tough, but nurturing private teacher, I still wonder what has kept playing all these years.

Is music my passion? My effort? Both? What makes them differnet?

A common cliché we’ve all heard is “follow your passion.” Much easier said than done. An addition, or alternative, to that saying is “follow your effort.” I’ve had experiences where music is my passion; my first time at orchestra camp, having a lesson on the stage of Walt Disney Concert Hall, studying classical music in Vienna itself. But all those rosy memories also had their discouraging moments; literally working through blood, sweat, and tears during coaching sessions and practice only for professionals to repeatedly tell me I am not good enough.  But it when it comes to following my effort, music is definitely right there, too.

Over the summer, a local conductor and pianist in the DC/Maryland/Virginia area facilitated a professional development workshop for my internship program at the Kennedy Center. He also specialized in strategic planning for artists and arts managers. We were to bring an updated resume and a brief description of our five-year plan. As interns like to gossip, my cubicle-mate told me that he heard the workshop is nerve wrecking, that people get put on the spot and end up breaking down. OK, there might have  been potential for that to happen, but that doesn’t seem like professional “strategic planning” or productive career advice.

At the beginning of the seminar, all of our resumes were collected and the facilitator started having one-on-one conversations with each individual, in front of our whole group. It was interesting to hear my fellow interns talk about their current interests and future plans. It wasn’t nearly as nerve wrecking as any of us had thought, and no one broke down. It was really refreshing to hear about different pursuits in the arts. Everyone in that room has unfortunately experienced individuals who condescendingly look upon arts-related careers with comments like “Why would you do that, there’s no money there” and etcetera.

The stack of resumes got smaller, it was only a matter of time before I had to speak. I was rehearsing in my head, in an attempt to be articulate (a personal goal of mine). So when it was my turn, I sat with my spine straight, shoulders open, and a calm, confident voice, to which my great joy received a compliment. He only asked me three questions:

“Why aren’t you working with the National Symphony Orchestra (NSO) here?”

“I expressed interest in the administrative side of the orchestra, but my current position applies knowledge from both my majors of psychology and music.”

“Have you considered orchestral library management?”

“Yes, I have been able to have informational meetings with the NSO librarians and I am going to be working in my school’s music department library in the upcoming year.”

“Are you afraid to pursue a career as a violist?”

I handled the first two with grace, but the third question caught me off guard and my rehearsed confidence went meek, “Yes.”

Music is my passion, and my effort. But those two concepts are so vague. I put in effort into my passion, passion into my effort. My resume is chock-full of the word “music” somehow. But I am finding the intersection of passion and effort. I love playing music, but I am not going to perform as a career. The more I practice and play in groups, the more I want to be part of something that provides those opportunities to others. The more I try to be a part of orchestral community outreach, the more I realize there are much larger social factors that inhibit music education access.

Yes, I am afraid to pursue performance, but I’m not afraid to pursue music. I will never stop playing for myself or establishing ways to bring that to others. As Jim Carrey said in a notable commencement speech, “you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on something you love.”

So I propose another saying to you, follow your effort, but never neglect your passion.

Life in the Petri Dish

Working.

Studying.

Those two things can feel so disparate sometimes. “The Academy” and everything beyond it can feel totally beyond reach from within the Scripps bubble. I had a kind of rough time freshman year finding my place at Scripps. Transferring from small-town breadbasket to (sort of) big-city liberal arts was not easy for me at first. I don’t think I realized how disoriented I felt (feel, sometimes) at Scripps until I came back here and found myself feeling more comfortable and grounded.

So whenever it would re-occur to me that I had to write an essay linking my on-the-ground, Midwestern, political experience with my radical, liberal arts, legal studies education so that I could get Scripps credit for my internship, I would freak out enough to push the whole thought from my mind for awhile.

And three months later, here I am, still struggling to find words to help me make the mental journey from here to my classes that start in two weeks.

I wish I could say that connecting my education to my summer job is easy. It isn’t. You may feel like you’re living your education when you’re pushing through a heavy round of midterms, but you’re not. You’re not actually living your education until you have to walk it and talk it in a room full of people who aren’t your professors or classmates.

You’re not actually living your education until a person’s path crosses yours one time, and one time only, and in the ten minutes you share together, the only thing you can tell them is that the law doesn’t require Veterans Affairs to provide them with health care benefits they know they earned during their service.

It’s hard to connect what I’ve learned at school to what I’m doing at work not because my education isn’t relevant or because my home state is some utopia far removed from the stuff I’ve learned in my classes. I think it’s hard because when you’re examining something “in theory” and from a distance–and this goes for any subject, I think, not just the humanities–you get a bird’s-eye view of a problem. But when you’re out in the world, you’re not granted that perspective. It’s easy to examine bacteria in a petri dish when you’re looking through the microscope. It’s totally different when you’re living and working in the petri dish and are trying to make acquaintances with the other bacteria. Looking at a problem in a controlled environment is so much different than looking a person in the eye. And I struggle to incorporate the complexities of my education into the unique situations I encounter every day.

But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. When I was first starting my tutoring job on campus, the hardest part was knowing the right questions to ask and the most helpful (and realistic) advice to give. After probably a year of tutoring, I realized that my response to each situation came from the same mold but carefully tailored to each new person and her essay. I’ve had to do the same thing as I learned to collaborate with the staff at the Scripps newspaper. I’ve had to do the same thing as I learned to take disgruntled constituents’ phone calls this summer.

So I guess what I’m saying is that it takes more time and more careful thinking to incorporate your education into your every day life than most people (including me) ever realize. It requires experimenting, adjusting, and continued learning. If there’s anything I’ve learned in my legal studies classes, it’s that the law is heavy and onerous and at the mercy of the whims and shortcomings of everyone who touches it. That much I can say without a doubt has been true. But I’ve struggled with knowing what to do with this information.

This is probably why my career prospects are all over the place. You don’t really get a ton of guidance in this area in the classroom, but that’s because it’s unique to each person, and it’s something you just have to learn as you move about in the world after college. That’s really, really daunting. A career in sheep herding is sounding pretty great right now.

“Come in,” she said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm.”
(photo credit: MissMPhotography)

I always struggle with coming up with an ending for things that I write, probably because the way I write and think always produces more questions than answers. I always feel like I need to impart some important piece of wisdom to tie it all together (thanks, 8th grade English), but rarely do I have that kind of clarity. I told a good friend who reads this blog that I sometimes feel like I should have a huge banner above each of my posts that says “DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.”

Full disclosure: I’m lost inside and outside of the petri dish.

This summer has been such an experience. I’ve learned a lot about politics and what (good) legislators actually do, certainly, but I’ve also learned a lot about myself and what I expect from myself going forward. This summer has reinforced one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned at Scripps: it’s okay to not know what I don’t know. I hate to leave you with that, but this work in progress has a lot more learning to do.

Thanks so much for putting up with my ramblings all summer. Take care, and good luck!

All the best,
Em