Tag Archives: math

“I’m bad at math,” and other lies I tell myself.

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This past week, I found out that I was offered a spot in an internship program that I applied for a few months ago. I am incredibly excited, but most of all I am so relieved that it worked out, and that I have one less thing to worry about.

This internship acceptance came at a good time, especially because these past few months have been filled with constant talk of internships, jobs, majors, study-abroad, housing, and all of the other long-term stuff that sends my mind into an anxious whirlwind. I have had many moments where I have felt like a “failure” for not securing an internship, and for not majoring in something “useful” or “lucrative.”

I recently declared a major in “Humanities: Interdisciplinary Studies in Culture,” and while I think it is a good fit for me, I often find myself wishing that I could have majored in something more “impressive,” like biochemistry or neuroscience. Nothing is stopping me from pursuing those majors, but they just don’t feel like majors that are right for me. In addition, for most of my life I have convinced myself that I am horrible at math and science, which rules out a lot of majors and minors. In hindsight, I think a lot of my hatred for these subjects stems (no pun intended) from some negative experiences I had with these subjects in elementary and middle school. I have told myself that I was bad at certain subjects for so long, that I eventually internalized it and began to hate them as well.

It also doesn’t help that I have a twin brother who is much more mathematically inclined. He is majoring in computer science, and I often find myself jealous of the fact that he is, in my opinion, pursuing such an impressive major.

I have done a lot of reflecting on my strengths and weaknesses this past semester, and I think I have become much more at-peace with the fact that I enjoy social sciences and humanities much more than I enjoy math or most forms of science. The thing is, we need all sorts of people in the world, and the fact that I am not going down a pre-med track does not make me any less valuable as a human, it just means I have different interests, strengths, and goals than some other people. Does the fact that I’m not majoring in a STEM field make me ‘less smart’ or ‘less hard-working?” Not really. Will people judge me for majoring in a kind of vague and potentially ‘less rigorous’ major? Probably. Does that matter? Not really.

And while I am still pretty convinced that I don’t have a mind that naturally “gets” math, I had a really positive experience with a science class last semester that pushed me outside of my academic comfort zone, and really caused me to rethink some of the lies and half-truths that I tell myself. I took a chemistry class called Land Air and Ocean Science to fulfill my natural science GE, and even though I was filled with trepidation (it had been quite a few years since I had taken a chemistry course,) I ended up LOVING the class. A large part of this was due to the fact that the professor understood that everyone in the class was taking it for their GE, and that many of us did not consider ourselves to be “sciency.” Thus, she tried really hard to make the material clear, engaging, and straightforward. Like I said, I have had some really negative experiences with math and science classes that left me feeling stupid and incompetent, so this class was such a breath of fresh air.

Overall, this class also helped me realize that it is not always helpful to narrowly categorize ourselves. As mentioned, my twin brother and I kind of grew up knowing that he was the “math-and-science-one,” and I was the “reading-writing-social-science-one.” We both placed ourselves in narrow categories that probably did us both a disservice through making us believe that we weren’t really capable of doing the things we were less talented at.

Me, when it comes to math.

Me, when it comes to math.

There have probably been a lot of things I have missed out on in life because I have convinced myself that I’m bad at it. I am now determined to stop categorizing myself in unhelpful ways, so that I will be more willing to go out of my comfort zone and try new things—even if I fail at first. Honestly, if I ended up loving a chemistry class—something I never thought was possible—then I can imagine there are so many other “lies” I tell myself that are probably not entirely valid. In the end, I have mostly come to terms with the fact that it’s okay for me not to love certain subjects, but I am also determined to challenge some of my internalized notions about what I “like” and “don’t” like, and I suggest that we all try this exercise out more often.

Awesome Professors, Office Hours, and Actually Understanding Homework

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This past weekend and this week I have been studying for my Calculus III midterm which, unlike last semester where I always felt like I was struggling to get my homework done and floundering when it came to understanding the topics, I have felt more prepared than I have in a long time, in addition to less stressed. I’d been having trouble figuring out why that was and was worried that I should feel more stressed. What I realized is that this semester, I have gone into office hours and understood my homework better than I ever did last semester.

Last semester, my professor assigned problems out of a textbook, which I didn’t mind, but I was able to use online resources more readily, one in particular called Slader, which provides detailed answers to problems from hundreds of different textbooks. Although this was helpful for receiving full credit on my homework and for helping me understand how you were supposed to get from step A to B, I often found myself relying too much on Slader and not doing enough of my own work. This in turn made it so that I was not as confident in the material and my ability to work through questions on my own.

My professor this semester writes all of his own homework questions, so if I want to ask for help, there’s no way for me to look it up online, like I could last semester. I have to go in to his office hours and ask specific questions about the problems I don’t understand. This also works in my favor, because I have to articulate what I’m not understanding and can then receive a more individualized answer.

When I do go to office hours, I often bring the whole homework assignment with me and work on the problems in his office. That way, when I have a question, I can ask him immediately and clear up the issue right away, and often have a realization like Jim just had.

Because our homework is due every Wednesday and I most often go to his office hours on Monday, I can also get the homework done early and am not trying to hastily finish it on Tuesday nights.

What I also enjoy about the professor I have this term is how accessible he is. He has his set office hours, but always encourages us to come in other times because he is normally in his office. In addition, the atmosphere he creates makes every student feel comfortable, even when they might need to ask him to clarify something more than once. It can be hard to admit that you don’t know something and be okay feeling vulnerable academically in front of your peers, but in addition to the environment that my professor creates, he exudes that to his students, and I always feel comfortable asking questions in front of my classmates. If you are someone who does feel uncomfortable talking in front of others, most professors are willing to meet outside of their regular office hours to accommodate all of their students, so reaching out is always a good idea if you need extra help.

It can be hard to muster the confidence to visit a professor’s office hours, but in my experience, it is normally worth it. In addition, the help that you can receive on homework and practice tests can be worth it just by the fact that it could help minimize stress. I am not always the best at utilizing this resource, but would recommend it to everyone. Professors are here to help you learn the material, and in going to office hours, you are showing them that you are there to better understand the material and expand your current thought processes. And that’s what education is all about. So utilize professors and their office hours, and don’t be afraid to ask for extra help or to meet outside their scheduled times, if they don’t work for you. It will definitely benefit you in the long run.

If anyone is interested in the math professor I am referring to, please don’t hesitate to contact me: [email protected] He’s the best!

Math’s Beast: the wonders and horrors of Calculus II

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unknown-2After finishing Calculus AB in high school, I was content with the fact that I might never take math again. Unfortunately, once I decided that I wanted to become a science major, taking math again was no longer an option – it was required.

Coming into college, I was intent on being a double major in biochemistry and English. I knew that I wanted to combine my love of the sciences with my love for writing and figured that a double major made sense. Thus, I would also need to take Calculus II in order to fulfill the major requirements for biochemistry. After taking Calculus I at Pomona last semester with one of the best math teachers I have ever had, I wasn’t too worried about Calc II and was confident that my professor had prepared me well. I knew that with hard work, I would be able to do well in the class. Although I still believe this to be true, I have heard more recently, from many friends, peers, and professors, that Calc II is the hardest of the three calculus classes. That was not exactly uplifting news and not what I wanted to hear about a class that was making me more and more nervous. It wasn’t until I remembered some of the basic skills you need to succeed in math classes, that I began to feel better.

Math is a subject that you must learn by doing. My mom is a fifth grade teacher and always tells her students that the only way to get better at it, is to practice. Although this is fairly intuitive, as many of us have been taught this lesson in other parts of our life, such as in sports or the arts, math is especially tricky because it is hard to remember that even if you can get one problem right, there are so many other variations that can be written. Math challenges us to evaluate what we are seeing at first glance. There are often problems that are easy to solve, but require work at the beginning to make the rest of the problem possible. This approach is unlike most of the problems we learn to solve in algebra classes where the strategy to solve for the specific answer is pretty straight forward. But in Calc II, not only are you solving for that specific answer, you must also determine if work needs be done beforehand so that the problem is properly executed.

Math can also be difficult simply because it does not seem applicable to our dailiy lives. For example, it might lead us to have these sorts of thoughts:math-fail-pics-409unknown

 

 

 

 

 

But what I am learning more and more often, is that Calc II is applicable and can help me understand more of what I am learning in my science classes. Although, it’s hard to believe, the parallels are there.

Calc II has proven to be a challenge, even this early in the semester, and yet, when I do end up figuring out that problem that’s been driving me crazy, I can’t help but feel exactly like this:

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Comments? Questions? Resources? Comment below and share any of your own success (or horror) stories about Calculus II.

Summer Transitions

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As I’m writing this, I’m facing my last week at my internship. The summer feels like it’s gone by in a blip. I’m doing a lot of wrap up—documenting the processes I’ve used so they can be continued, teaching a new analyst how to use a tool, creating slide decks for my two final presentations. The transition will be pretty abrupt for me. This Friday at 5 or so, I’ll leave work. Sunday morning I’ll drive down to southern California to visit with relatives, and then I’ll move back into Scripps on Tuesday for RA training. These last few weeks have been super busy, since I’ve been trying to cram in seeing all my friends and family around my normal work schedule. (I’ve had to sacrifice my daily workout, but hopefully Tiernan will be open when I get back).

I had a great, lengthy conversation with my manager yesterday about life choices and grad school and career options. She’s been tremendously supportive and appreciative of my work, and I was happy that she validated some of the unusual choices I’ve been making.

1.       Taking lots of math and economics, even though I’m all humanities on the inside: My manager got her MBA (while getting an MSW) for the same reasons — people who have quantitative or technical knowledge have power. I don’t want to let anyone mansplain why a policy I support isn’t economically feasible without the tools for refutation.

2.       Not returning next summer to my current internship, even though it’s well paid and at an organization I eventually want to work for: My manager (and my mentor, and my mom) stressed that internships are about exploration, and while they’d welcome me back, they understand that I want to figure out where I fit best.

3.       My semi-secret, maybe-probably-won’t-do it-but-maybe-I’ll-try-anyway dream of becoming an economist: My manager actually just assumed that path might be on my radar, since I’m interested in being a research assistant after graduation. It feels too big for me, and there certainly is a chance that I won’t make it all the way. I’m no math genius, and economic research is heavily math-based. Six years in a PhD program is a long time, and might conflict with babies and other life things. But there’s no danger in trying. It’s not as if I’ll be unqualified for any other jobs because I’ve taken too much math and econ. I can still go into policy, tech, teaching, or anything else, because of the magic powers of liberal arts education. At the moment, being an economist seems pretty appealing, because your work can involve theoretical research, policy focused research, and teaching. We’ll see if I survive multi-variable calculus!

I’m excited to switch gears next week for RA training. I’ve missed Scripps: the sunshine, the people, the beauty. I’m hoping that as much as I’ve stretched my analytical thinking at my internship, I’ll stretch my interpersonal intelligence in the next few weeks.