Modern Feminism

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By definition, a feminist is an individual seeking equal rights for all genders, but I often feel that this movement to gain equality seems to be in stark opposition to many of the ideals that women have regarding gender roles and relationships. What I’m about to say might offend some, but it is an issue that I feel needs to be addressed. After all, if men and women are equal – then why should the man pay for the first date, be the breadwinner, give up their seat or open the door for women? People often mourn the loss of chivalry and shower praise when a man treats a woman in a “special” way. As a woman, this annoys me. I am fully capable of opening my own door or grabbing my own chair, thank you.

Here are few examples in my own life when chivalry has been thrust upon me whether I wanted it or not. I am rather short (5’ 1”), and in the airplane I sometimes have to tiptoe to get my hand baggage onto the overhead space. While I was putting my luggage up, a man (without asking for my permission) simply grabbed my bags from my hands and proceeded to put them into the overhead. Another example is when there was meeting and all chairs were taken. A male student and I had both entered late at the same time but only I was offered a chair- that too, at the expense of another male’s seat. In fact the professor who had called the meeting praised the male who had offered the seat. While both of these actions may have arisen out of kindness, the action itself begs to be viewed differently. I felt belittled instead of thankful because I felt that these males did not think me capable of being independent. At least a polite “do you need some help?” would have sufficed. I have no problem with chivalry if it isn’t gender biased. If a man opened doors for individuals regardless of their gender, I believe it would be an act of kindness.

What further irks me is that some women expect chivalry out of men. Wanting equality is one thing but wanting special treatment is another. All the Tumblr posts about “what boys should do” and the conversations about men treating women in a “special” manner really comes down to women realizing that if they want equal rights, it must also involve relinquishing the right to be treated differently from men. In fact, we need to realize that chivalry doesn’t make us special. So, the next time a man opens a door for you, smile and simply say “Thanks, but I’ve got it.”

Aish Subramanian  

Staff Blogger Scr ’16

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