This semester has admittedly been challenging. A great deal has happened, and it seems so weird that it is almost over. It’s strange to think that at the end of your college career you can learn so much about yourself, but I suppose that is the odd thing about life. People change, you change, and everything changes as you get older. Perhaps it is not sudden change, but they are more gradual changes.

This blog post was honestly hard for me to come up with something to talk about. I mean in one semester I learned a lot, not just in my classes, but about myself. Overcoming over my fears of asking for help, and even being able to admit that I have no clue what I am doing, figuring out thesis, and

I mean, seriously, I really don’t have a clue what I am doing! Yet for some reason I get to have a poster session presenting  my senior thesis to my class this week. It’s ironic as I am really unsure what three-quarters of the research really tells me at this point. The only meme that perhaps captures how I feel this one:

However, I am certain (or choose to believe) it will be okay. Professors and staff genuinely want you to do well. The other part of this semester’s project, is of course the job search which is getting interesting. After going to Grace Hopper, which I mentioned earlier in this blog, and handing my resume out to probably fifty different companies. I am finally starting to hear back from some of them. They are asking me to submit resumes and create profiles online.  This is a very good development, but it’s also interesting to sit there and try to figure out how to write cover letters, and answer questions like: What do you think your starting salary should be? (This question is the one I always feel  is like the trick question, that I don’t always understand. a) Why do they ask or b)  What I am supposed to answer?)

Of course, these job discussions often lead me to thoughts about the future, and questions of graduate school. For me graduate school has always been something that I have been interested in, but have not considered in a serious manner until…. Well, probably like a month and a half ago. Granted I still haven’t decided what I would even want to go to graduate school for, so perhaps I will spend some time thinking over the next two years.

For now, I guess it is time to look to the future, to finishing thesis, to graduating, to finding a job, and to my future with my little leopard gecko.

Networking can seem difficult. In fact, I find it to be one of the most terrifying situations to be in; networking at events can be overwhelming and networking with friends and families can seem uncomfortable.  It can seem complicated, time consuming and generally very scary. It’s one of those areas where sometimes it’s as much who you know, as it is about what you know. This is unfortunate at times, but it’s also something you can leverage to your advantage. There are of course two ways to go about networking.

There are networking events, conferences, and other organizational events where you can meet people within the industry that you are interested in. You can meet people, make connections, discover mentors or even find a job. These are perhaps the most terrifying events, because it is up to you greet and sell yourself to people who you do not know. I normally get to a point at these events when I just feel like crawling underneath one of the nicely arranged tables full of desserts, drinks, and floral arrangements. 

Though, as much as I want to crawl underneath a table, I smile and try to talk to people. If you are lucky you might get a business card, and an invitation to stay in touch. So what is the next step? In most cases it’s sending an email. This emailing thing is the most difficult for me to remember and sometimes feels really awkward. They do not need to be that complicated. A simple hello, we met here, thanks for your card, and perhaps something of your conversation, is fine. Remember to give them your contact information too.

The second method of networking, and perhaps the most amusing, is using your family. They have a surprising number of friends and connections. As awkward as it may seem , this sort of thing is fairly common. So talk to your family and friends about your interests when you are home for the holidays. It’s often surprising to find that they have friends and family working at companies and industries that you are interested in and they are all too excited to help with an introduction.

Now asking your friends or even your own family members might be awkward. In fact, it can be extremely awkward because well… It’s a big sort of question, it seems like a huge favor. On one hand, it is a favor, but for most industries it is the norm. It’s something that people do, finding friends or family members who can help get them connected to people and potentially lead to employment, or at least an interview.

Remember when you are asked to stay in touch, do it!

I have something important to admit. I very rarely ask for help.

Don’t be this person

What does this mean?  It means I ask for help in some ways, like for clarification, figuring out answers, and things along those lines. In fact, when it comes to clarifying instructions, I tend to like to clarify to extremes. However, I very rarely ask for help outside of those very specific areas. I don’t like asking for extensions or even just letting others know that I am not necessarily dealing with everything very well and I might just need some help.  I generally believe that I should be able to handle everything that is wanted from me, and even if I probably cannot and probably should not, I will try anything to comply.

I have finally got it through my head that it is in fact okay to ask for help. It is okay to say that you might need a little bit of a hand, and there is an amazing thing that happens when you ask for help.

It’s important to remember that people want to help you. Whether it’s asking a simple clarifying question, or explanation of directions or even admitting that you cannot do everything yourself, professors, staff at Scripps, even your (future or current ) managers want to help you, all you have to do is ask.

For me, asking for help gets tangled up in this idea of failure. It’s the sense that because I could not finish everything myself, I am admitting defeat. That is just false.  Asking for help is not directly related to failure. The only time it is a failure, is if you never try in the first place.  Asking for help is beneficial, and what you are trying to get done is probably going to get done better.

Sometimes we all get in sticky situations

As we move into adulthood it feels like as adults we should just have it together. On the other side of things, after talking to many of the adults in my life, I realize they do not really know what they are doing either. Sure, they may have one piece of the puzzle or the answers. But the way you get through life is by asking questions and asking for help from the people holding the other puzzles pieces. I am finally learning that it takes people really working with one another to solve problems.

As I have found out this week, asking for help is not terrible. In fact, it will actually help a lot.

Fall Break is like this wonderful time off, and then you get back to school and suddenly… AHHH MIDTERMS… AHHH THESIS … AHHH  PAPERS due. It’s like a cornucopia of things you don’t really want to do, and you really should and you’re sort of still in break mode. (Apologies to those who did homework over Fall Break).

As I wrote about last week, I spent the days before Fall Break at the Grace Hopper Celebrations of Women in Technology. There I got to talk to a lot of different companies and people about jobs. I formed opinions about where I could possibly work, I got information….. I was NETWORKING, like real adult networking!

This means I have now moved into phase two, the ACTUAL JOB APPLICATIONS.
Phase two is a little scary, it’s a little intimidating, it’s just a little, well … it’s a lot. When it comes to job applications, I feel out of my element. I mean some of the questions are difficult, like expected salary? That is a rough question to answer since you don’t want to be too low and you don’t want to price yourself out of the job. It involved a google search which didn’t really help and then I called my dad and hoped he could provide a frame of reference.

These are important things to do that are easy to put off when you have all that other work piling up. You say, “Oh, I’ll do it this weekend”, then in all of the weekend events, guess what doesn’t get done?

Probably, applying for that job.

Of course, I personally find everything gets better with lists. Reasonable lists. The sort of lists where you are likely to get everything done, get some sleep, and maybe if you are lucky, see your friends.

I find that if you make time, just a little bit of time during the week, to search for jobs and work on job applications, everything is doable. For me, it’s often when I try to do everything last minute that it goes downhill fast.

I have also found that asking for help is a wonderful thing. Having a support system is important; it can be friends, parents, former co-workers and mentors who can help you, or the wonderful people at CP&R. These are the people who can help you identify your network, make introductions on your behalf, and (though mostly this might be parents) tell you when to pull yourself together.

The biggest thing that holds me back from applying and keeps me putting it off, is the tiny sense of doubt that I am, quite frankly, not qualified to perform a specific job.

This is because, maybe, I don’t fulfill one or two of the requirements or it sounds like I might not be the exact person they are looking for. What I have realized, from talking to many of the amazing women in my life, is this simple idea. Even if you think you may not be completely qualified for a job, you should try and apply for it. Talk to potential employers, and see if they are interested in you as much as you are interested in them. They might have suggestions for other positions in the company or they might decide that even your slightly unqualified self is a fit and hire you anyways. You won’t know unless you try, and that means stop putting off the job applications.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend the Grace Hopper Celebration for Women in Computing. Grace Hopper is a three day event surrounding women in computing and technical fields. It was an amazing and tiring time. I saw some great talks about current research in computer science and discussions of the morality of virtual reality. I met some remarkable women during this time, and got to have conversations with many different students from a variety of backgrounds.

It was a whirlwind event, and on more than one occasion I had to sit in a corner on my iPad or computer and finish homework or just take a breather. There were a lot of people, in fact around 12,000 of them. I did not go alone, there were other Scripps Students at the event, as well as the cadre of Harvey Mudd students. Granted, keeping track of friends at a conference like this is difficult. Unless you are attending all the same sessions together there is the absolutely likelihood that you will rarely see them, and if you do, it will be only briefly.

What was perhaps the most overwhelming part, besides getting food during lunch time, was the career fair. Represented at the career fair were many of the biggest technology companies, as well as many graduate schools, labs, and other smaller companies. It was so overwhelming that I spent the first ten minutes wandering around with a slightly dazed look, clutching my resumes to my chest.

I eventually found myself in conversation with the representatives of various companies. To be fairly honest, I avoided some of the bigger companies because they were being mobbed by groups of women computer scientists. What I also found was that the people at the booths would often go out of their way to talk to you if they could. If you were lucky it would be people who would give you food, swag, coffee, or even better, an invite to a reception. Conversations with the people at the booths turned into an interrogation about when I was graduating, what I was studying, and what I was doing, want I wanted to do, and all while they were scribbling on the back of the resume that I just provided them. It was like speed dating, but with careers and my future.

It was difficult, not being a straight up computer science major, and not looking for a software engineering job. It involved actually talking and explaining what I want to do with my life, and convincing them that my major was a) important and b) they wanted to hire me for some sort of job somewhere in their company.

How I feel looking at all of the open job positions.

Thursday was the day that a majority of the private receptions were held and of course there were the coveted Apple and Google receptions. They were loud, flashy, and filled with a lot of people. There were smaller receptions with food, drinks, and the actual ability to converse with people from the sponsoring companies. It was like a continuation of speed dating, but slightly longer, and I had the feeling the stakes were a little higher. I made it through them though.

It was probably one of the most overwhelming and fabulous experiences of my life. There were so many wonderful new things I learned, and I got to go to some talks that really showed how various technologies can change the world and help people. I found many many new areas of interest and I met students, professors, and people in the industry who were fascinating to talk to, and who want to help me in the future. But, mostly I was glad that I didn’t have to wear business clothes and heels throughout this entire event.