![\"\"](\"https:\/\/community.scrippscollege.edu\/invisible\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2013\/11\/victoria-article.png\" "\\"victoria")
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My full name consists of two different languages mashed together with old-fashioned sensibilities – but it feels right even if it doesn\u2019t roll off the tongue very prettily. When people have taken a stab at it, it is usually horrendously and amusingly wrong. I\u2019ve been called \u201cnew-guy-en\u201d and \u201cnug-gui-en\u201d among other things since I was a child (it\u2019s actually pronounced Nguy\u1ec5n<\/a>), but it never really bothered me unless the person was obviously inquiring about my last name specifically because I am Vietnamese and female.\u00a0 My name is quintessentially me. It\u2019s part of who and what I am. And thinking about how I\u2019ve always identified and the possibility of changing part of it if I decide to marry fills me with no small amount of trepidation.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, for women more than men, a change in marital status is often announced to society at large by changes to last name and honorifics. A married man remains a \u201cMr.\u201d before and after his marriage. A woman, however, goes from ambiguously attached \u201cMiss\/Ms. Maiden Name\u201d to being identified, or assumed to be identified, as married \u201cMrs. Husband\u2019s Surname.\u201d Even more fascinating is that in some cultures, as one of my friends has informed me, a married woman actually takes on the first name of her husband as her last name. There are alternatives, of course. For example, some women prefer to hyphenate, a few choose to retain their maiden name, and on some rare occasions, the husband can choose to take their wife\u2019s last name. But in each case it is interesting to note that even if a woman retains some aspect of her original last name, she is still likely to change the honorifics that precede it from \u201cMs.\/Miss\u201d to \u201cMrs.\u201d to indicate her change in status whereas for a man there is no such change.<\/p>\n Changing one\u2019s last name is a simple change of noun, but at least on a surface symbolic level, it can alter how we view our identities. Less common name changes (or lack of thereof) in their own way announce to society that the married woman has made an active choice to retain her former identity. It is not always obvious that a woman has chosen to hyphenate or retain her maiden name and it can lead to awkward introductions when the other party accidentally assumes that a woman goes by her husband\u2019s last name. When a woman has to preemptively inform others that she goes by a hyphenated last name or their maiden name, it is often viewed as an act of independence, a bid to preserve a woman\u2019s pre-marital identity or an unwillingness to be marked as being married to a particular person. It seems rather unfortunate that a woman\u2019s pre-martial identity should be viewed as something that must be actively chosen to be \u201cpreserved\u201d or be in danger of being forgotten. One would think a woman has the freedom to choose a name that she feels truly reflects their identity rather than adopting one because of expectation and having that name determine her identity.<\/p>\n In addition, for her children who have little choice in the matter of which name to take – whether it\u2019s her maiden name, her husband\u2019s name, or a hyphenated version – this notion of name and identity raises interesting dynamics. For example, some of my friends have expressed that they identify more with one side of their family simply because it is their last names. The phrase \u201cI\u2019m more of a (insert father\u2019s last name\/family name here)\u201d seems more common than \u201cI\u2019m a (insert mother\u2019s maiden name here)\u201d if one\u2019s mother decided upon the traditional route. And if your mother decided to retain her last name while you have your father\u2019s last name, it is not always clear to others upon first meeting that your parents go by different titles.<\/p>\n