Exclusive Fields

It was a Friday night and a crowd was swarming around Garrison Theater. Mudd and Scripps students piled into Garrison Theater to watch the one woman act Truth Values: One Girl’s Romp Through M.I.T.’s Male Math Maze, written and performed by Massachusetts Institute of Technology (M.I.T.)  graduate Gioia De Cari. This was to be a performance proving that a woman can successfully navigate through the male dominated field of mathematics. As the lights dimmed, the crowd hushed, and the much anticipated event began; everyone prepared themselves to watch the living proof that a woman can triumph over gender persecution and that she truly can have it all.

The stage was empty. Only a small white four legged table and matching chair occupied the space. De Cari strolled out of the shadows and stood casually in the spotlight. There were no costumes, backdrops, or other actors; De Cari stood alone and left the rest to the imagination of her audience. When De Cari portrayed herself, her professional attire of a gray blazer, blue blouse, and gray dress-pants sharply contrasted with her overly feminine and high-pitched voice. She performed excessively exaggerated scenes, making the audience laugh. At one point, De Cari was rapidly crawling across the stage on all fours. Her frantic mannerisms and whiplash character changes founded upon female stereotypes created a jocund atmosphere.

It became clear that the annoying actions she acted out paired with her degrading experiences revealed bitter sarcasm—a destructive effect of prejudice in the mathematics PhD program at M.I.T. De Cari acted out scenes of these past encounters with her colleagues, professors, and family members in the “male math maze,” which included everyone who never took her seriously. She had worked towards following her father’s footsteps “to make up for being a daughter.” Comments such as “You don’t look like you’re good in math” and “You’re married? Why are you here?” swirled around De Cari, painting her as a joke and making her invisible in a male-dominated world. Whether it was a fellow M.I.T. graduate student making a pass or a professor asking her to serve cookies during lectures, messages of devalue constantly told De Cari that she did not belong. But, De Cari pushed back: she played pranks on her literal-minded colleagues, she wore overly flamboyant and risqué outfits, and she made her world a cynical playground.

One day, De Cari’s father committed suicide. Her father’s footsteps stopped, the path ended, and she was lost. She never got to prove to her father that she could be just as successful as all the great men in history. But in her new undefined space, De Cari uncovered her love of music and theater that had been buried beneath a life of proving others wrong. In the end, De Cari decided to “give up every known path, just set sail and survive.”  De Cari quit the PhD program and graduated from M.I.T. with a Master’s degree.

The stage faded to black, leaving the audience with the haunting reality that all women are faced with the decision of whether or not to try to romp through the male mazes of the world.

De Cari was not the proof of a woman who triumphed over a male-dominated field. However, she was not the proof that women must fail in male-dominated fields. De Cari should not be seen as the epitome of a woman who was discouraged from following her dreams. The truth is that De Cari gave up on someone else’s unfulfilled dream and discovered herself. She became certain in who she was: a brilliant mathematician and artist who chose not to compromise. De Cari is the epitome of a woman who made the decision to live her own life—founded on the multilayered disciplines that she valued.

There is no need for proof.

There exists a woman; therefore she can be whoever she desires to be.