The Problem With Party Culture

The party is dwindling, the alcohol consumed, but the music remains, along with a few dispersed people dancing. There is a group of women dancing together, all three of them wearing skirts, unclaimed by any of the men at the party. Of course they must be there to hook up, so it is perfectly reasonable for a couple of men to insert themselves into the group and select one at a time to hit on. When women in college go to a party, they risk receiving strong and unwanted sexual attention based upon the presumptions that they are single, heterosexual, and looking for a hookup. While there are cases in which these assumptions may not be unfounded, the fact that they are used as license to take consent for certain social interactions as given creates a party culture in which women’s presence is seen as indicative of their availability, where it is assumed that they are there to attract a man rather than for their own enjoyment. These assumptions may very well be made about men, and are a problem regardless of gender. I, however, speak specifically to my experience as a woman.

Analyzing party culture along with hookup culture has become a sort of trend piece in journalism. These articles often debate whether it is empowering or disempowering for women and lament a supposed decline of relationships. I personally find these debates to be overblown, for there is not one overarching college experience. I know many people who don’t like the atmosphere at parties as well as some who do, and they may have different reasons for going and different experiences there. My party experience is somewhat limited, for I never attended a typical “college party” with alcohol, loud music, and grinding until this semester.

My introduction to these parties in fact was a man non-consensually grabbing me as I walked past and telling me to join the group of women dancing around him, an invitation I ignored. This experience was only momentarily unpleasant and didn’t hurt me, but what I find objectionable is the way in which a woman at a party wearing a mini-skirt is immediately seen as a sexual object, available for advances precluding any sort of conversation or even consent. Parties can be a great opportunity to get to know other students, but the sorts of interactions I encountered do not provide a satisfying social experience. While the culture at these parties is larger than any single person, my suggestion to everyone is to perpetuate an environment of consent. To create such an environment, everyone interested in making friends, hooking up, or even more should ask before assuming interest in physical contact, listen to the verbal and non-verbal feedback someone is giving, and perhaps even try friendly conversation.

Rose DuCharme