Reflections on Meeting Everyday Science Heroes and Being a Woman in Science

I recently attended the 58^th Biophysical Society Meeting in San Francisco, and I can only describe the entire four-day experience as overwhelming. There were talks by scientists and scholars at the top of their fields, including the National Lecture given by Carlos Bustamante, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley and essentially the equivalent of a science celebrity in the biophysics world. There were posters and talks regarding fascinating work that I had never dreamed were even possible. Never before had I been so overwhelmed by such unabashed enthusiasm for science and by the sheer amount of swooning done over fantastic research and researchers alike. In such a positive environment, I didn’t feel strange for expressing my giddiness at seeing the autograph worthy signatures of scientists like Nancy Forde on the sheet for interested contacts next to my poster. I felt as if I was in a permanent daze, a separate slice of time amongst a concentrated mass of science doers and lovers. Perhaps even more importantly, I felt like I was in different place where it was okay not only to be a woman excited by science, but to be unafraid to thrive in it.

Overall, the time I spent at the conference was an opportunity for personal reflection and a reminder of why I am still in science despite the moments of paralyzing doubt I have experienced. I’ve questioned my ability and passion in the sciences after some particularly rough semesters. I’ve been intimidated by sobering statistics and the hardships associated with the underrepresentation of women in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) despite my attempts to not let them discourage me. I’m not sure if I enjoy doing science – meaning the more traditional laboratory application and research side of science – more than I like learning about it. I’m even less sure about what this might imply about the kinds of careers I might pursue with a science degree. When asked about my intended major my answer has tenuously evolved from “Something in science,” to “Biochemistry?” to “Probably Molecular Biology and Asian American studies.” As a Scripps student I know that I am surrounded by talented young women in both the sciences and non-sciences, but I often feel a keen disconnect from the community. I still struggle to feel fully comfortable at Scripps and confident in pursuing science, and to be honest I’ve had moments in which I considered leaving both.

And yet I am still here. I am still pursuing science at Scripps because despite my anxieties, the moments of science-nerd euphoria I get from learning about the mind-blowing behavior of electrons in a double-slit experiment in classes like AISS (Accelerated Integrated Science Sequence), keep me coming back. When I feel burned out, re-watching the NOVA broadcasts I loved as a child or sharing a cool science video with a friend reminds me that it’s okay to have that kind of fanatical, kid-like excitement for science. When I feel discouraged about pursuing science, learning about the accomplishments of women such as Grace Hopper and reading about the initiatives being taken to close the gender gap reminds me that barriers can be overcome. Media such as TED talks by women in STEM, videos created by NASA on women in STEM, and commercials by GoldieBox Company to inspire girls to pursue STEM make me hopeful.

But for me I think it’s the inspiring mentors and individuals that I have met in the science community – the real-life science heroes I have seen in action – that continue to make the biggest difference in my life. It’s the people in science that convince me that science is where I want to be. It’s the supportive, enthusiastic educators such as Professor Wiley, Professor Gould, and Professor Sanii who I’ve met at my time at Keck. It’s the knowledgeable upperwomen and alumnae who share their experiences and tell me “you’ve got this.” It’s the memorable people I’ve had the fortune to meet at events like the Biophysical Society Meeting – not only the accomplished researchers and science superstars, but also the aspiring undergraduates who are just like me – who remind me to keep my eyes on the future. While I was at the conference, I met a Harvey Mudd alum-turned-professor who came by my poster and was delighted to see how the sciences have grown at Scripps since he graduated. I talked to two undergraduates presenting a poster across from me about their positive experiences at St. Catherine’s University, an all-women’s institution in Minnesota. I chatted with their professor, a young Vietnamese woman who had grown up in a small town and struggled with feeling different but, nevertheless pursued her love for physics and loves what she does. I heard (although belatedly) about the humorous, inspiring lecture given by Professor Sarah Keller from the University of Washington entitled “Some of My Greatest Mistakes” in which she talked about the success stories born from seemingly bad mistakes made in her science career and during which she presented the first Inaugural Invaginated Vesicle Award (how awesome is that!) to recognize a woman researcher “unperturbed by fluctuation” and “resilient to change due to forces and pressures.”

And so while I’m still a bit overwhelmed at times, these various reminders that being in science can be exhilarating, wacky, and fun leaves me feeling hopeful about being a woman in STEM. I continue to be inspired by amazing discoveries and by the amazing individuals making them. I still feel very passionately about supporting women in science starting at a local/community level. I hope that the discourse among student, faculty, and administration that was encouraged during the panel my CORE III classmates and I organized last fall to present our findings on science at Scripps will continue. And as I move forward I do not doubt that I will experience moments of insecurity, but I am also confident that experiences such as the ones I had at this particular conference and the help I receive from the science heroes in my life will continue to remind me that the future of women of STEM is one of hope and positivity, not one of just past statistics and failures. More than gender or numbers, science at its finest and at its most fun is about being curious and being unafraid of striking out when asking the hard questions that probe the unknown. It’s the reason why I entered science in the first place, and it’s the reason I’m still here.

Victoria Nguyen