Woman or Girl? Exploring Hidden Sexism

Art by Aimee Miller SC ’16

What do a male masochist and a lesbian have in common? They both appreciate and respect strong women. Our society, in general, does not.

Don’t believe me?

Think about every time you’ve used the word “girl” to refer to a grown woman. Or if you’ve ever heard “a slut is just a woman with the morals of a man.” Or when you see a man hold the door open for a woman even though she was already holding it open for him. These show we don’t know what to do with an independent woman.

Our double standard with sexuality proves we don’t like women with sexual power. The idea that a “slut is just a woman with the morals of a man” shouldn’t be brewed down to a one-line joke. When you can laugh off a significant inequality then something is wrong. I think that glorifying one gender for an action while the other is villainized is a problem.

The only reason sluts are sluts is that people are uncomfortable with women having sexual freedom. When women feel truly liberated you can’t use sex to control them and they start wanting things. They start demanding full reproductive rights and access to birth control. Some people just aren’t comfortable with that.

As a society, we still aren’t comfortable with women liberated in any way, especially sexually. Women with sexual power are scary. I read a blurb about Elizabeth Taylor the other day and how her portrayals of the classic femme fatales were empowering, not sexist as many feminists like to think. A woman’s sexuality is an unparalleled force, so naturally it makes society fearful and eager to suppress it.

We just don’t know know how to handle strong women. We still call a woman of any age “girl;” it’s pretty ridiculous. In my experience, calling someone out on this doesn’t elicit a particularly enthused response. The nicest I’ve gotten is an “Oh… whatever, you know what I mean” when I told a friend that Eva Longoria is not a “girl” he finds attractive.

To me, it’s not “whatever.” It matters when you trivialize a person by using the wrong word. No one would refer to Joseph Gordon Levitt as a boy. But any grown woman can be called a girl without hesitation. Almost everyone I know does it, even though girls and women are not synonymous. A girl is a dependent child. A woman is an independent adult. There’s still an idea that being a woman is being weak.

You still hear “don’t hit girls” or “I would never hit a woman” instead of “don’t hit someone weaker than you” or “I would never hit someone I could easily overpower.” Women are not defenseless. Many of them would kick your ass if necessary–personally, I will not hesitate to punch someone in the throat if need be.

All this paternal chivalry is pure chauvinism. I’ve had friends who have been in class with a room full of raised hands in support of gender equality. When asked if women should not be exempt from the draft their hands were some of the few still raised. In the U.S., we still don’t officially allow women in combat, even though other countries have women in all levels of their military. It’s ignorant to perpetuate the belief  that women are physically inferior to men because we have less muscle mass. Lower muscle mass means increased stamina, so women frequently have superior endurance. We can make up for any instantaneous strength with being able to perform longer.

Our society’s lack of appreciation for strong women is inherent in everyday actions, even by people who are not intentionally sexist and may even support women rights. We need to be more conscious about our actions and hold everyone accountable for the damage sexism inflicts. It may be 2012, but our attitudes are stuck in 1952.