Porn for Women: Looking Beyond 50 Shades of Grey

Art by Noor Asif SC ’15

I was lounging with Sarah by the poolside in her backyard one scorching hot day beneath the Vegas sun, listening to music while she sat huddled reading a book. This was strange because Sarah was not one to read. I turned to her, curious to see what she was so engrossed in.

“What are you doing?” I asked her. She slid her headphones down her ears and raised her flushed face, her eyes wide.

“Reading Fifty Shades of Grey!” she exclaimed. “You have to read it. Oh, my God.” I looked at her with disgust and disbelief. This was the first time I had seen her reading a book, and it had to be a piece of mindless self indulgence.

“Why are you reading that? Why?” I pleaded. “It’s a sex book, isn’t it?”

“Yeah but, it seriously has a good story.” She paused, and then said with a sly grin, “And it’s also really kinky…Please read it! I’m almost done, just give me ten minutes and you can take it.”

I assured her that I was fine, I didn’t need to read any bestselling erotica, but Sarah is a very persuasive individual, and I somehow found myself going home with the scandalous book hidden beneath a black cardigan in my bag. Once in the privacy of my room, I pulled it out slowly, feeling both ashamed and wildly curious (though I hate to admit that) and turned to page one.

Initially, the plot was weak and already done before in various novels, with the naive protagonist, Anastasia Steele, enamored by the dangerously seductive Christian Grey. However, the story transcended the levels of the Twilight novels as it plunged into the uncharted depths of intense, and sometimes disgusting, erotic sex. Anastasia must abide by Christian’s contract which states that she must remain submissive, very much like a sex slave. Should she be disobedient, the contract gives him the right to punish her in whatever way he thinks would be best. This punishment entails extreme sadistic sexual acts. When Anastasia asks Christian what she gets out of this binding agreement, he tells her with a cocky smile that she gets him, Christian Grey, the sex god.

To be honest, I never finished the book because I found it to be degrading towards women. Every time I’d see someone reading it, I’d cringe. I once, in horror, witnessed a flabby old lady reading it on the beach while her sun-burnt husband roasted in the sun. When I saw the college boy next to me on my flight to New York whip it out of the front of his seat, I had to suppress a gasp and some giggles. Despite the book’s universal appeal, it still makes me wonder if this is it for women. Is this book the only way a woman can publicly expose her desire for sexual satisfaction without infringing upon what is acceptable in society?

It appears that there are many forms of pornography for women that go beyond Fifty Shades of Grey, yet few women venture into that murky area because of the myriad taboos that forbid them. Also, a majority of pornography is sexist because of the dominance of men. Yet men seem to think that women should enjoy the mainstream pornography that is already out there because “porn is for everybody”. To be amusing, however, some men have gone far enough to write erotic short stories about women who orgasm by such mundane activities like eating an entire pizza by herself while her husband and children are away, or by having someone else clean the house for her, or even by having her feet massaged (cite). This is an exaggerated commentary about how women are so obsessed with household chores and fulfilling the role of housewife and mother, that they are deprived of real experiences of sexuality. It is a cruel accusation because women also feel sexual desire and deserve to have an outlet just like men do.

The romance novel is one kind of outlet, especially for middle-aged and older women. The writers of these books understand the psychology of women when it comes to sexuality, yet seem to exaggerate it. They realize that it is important to glorify “the sexual awakening” felt by female protagonists. The sex scenes are rather subdued compared to erotic literature targeted for men. Despite how men objectify women in pornography, romance novels mold the male hero into a strong man who also has human and vulnerable qualities. Yet these heroes often have occupations of leaders, the most common of which are “doctor, cowboy, boss, prince, rancher, knight, surgeon, king, bodyguard, and sheriff”.

Another thought that men hold against women in the world of pornography is that women are not attracted to pornography. According to Erika Lust, a feminist porn director, ” ‘It is a prejudice to say that women don’t like porn.” However, it can be said that it is difficult for women to like mainstream pornography because “everything is about male pleasure and women are objects.” While oral sex for a man may last for minutes on camera, oral sex for women is shown for seconds. Feminist porn directors have a new objective solely for the pleasure of women. This is to present pornography as making love rather than porn “with a feminine, aesthetic, and innovative approach” that “art-core” films director Petra Joy says ” ‘focuses on female pleasure and features male sex objects’ “. These directors take into account what women actually want out of a good pornographic film. Women want to see women of all shapes and sizes being made love to. Women want to know why the two people in the film are having sex. The performances of the actresses and actors must also be credible.

Of course, choice of women’s pornography also depends on the woman. In reality, there are some women who prefer mainstream pornography to feminine pornography, while there are other women who do not like pornography at all. It is important, however, for all women to know that there are other types of pornography out there for them, beyond Fifty Shades of Grey.