In this week’s top ten celebrity quotes on People.com (please remember, dear reader, that I am unemployed and have a lot of time on my hands) I came across this gem: “’I would rather have a prostate exam on live television by a guy with very cold hands than have a Facebook page.’ – George Cloony, explaining his aversion to social networking.”

Well what do you know?  George Cloony and I have something in common – we both have an aversion to social networking!  Oh Facebook, I wish I knew how to quit you.

At some point in our lives we’ve all heard the phrase, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.”  I can only wish that it wasn’t true.  In my opinion, networking is just about the most awkward thing.  Ever.  Many will verify that I’m not a particularly shy person, but when it comes to networking I might as well carry around two walls with me everywhere so I always have a corner to stand in.

Although I feel awkward networking, I know that there are those who do it like it IS their job.  My mom happens to be one of them.  Let’s face it; the woman is a networking machine.  She has no problem what so ever with asking people what they do and then asking if they know of a job for her unemployed daughter.  I’m grateful for her networking prowess and sometimes it works in my favor, but for the most part it makes me want to hide in my build-a-corner.

Recently I found out that it’s not just my mom, but perhaps parents across the nation.  The other day I answered the phone and it was an old friend of my mom whose daughter just graduated specializing in the same thing my mom does.  He wanted to know what my mom knew about the field (re: does she know of a job opening?  Can my daughter work where you work?).  Another friend of mine is working at a company that her dad networked her a position at.  I’m at least glad to know that I’m not alone.

I don’t mean to suggest that what some of our parents do is a bad thing.  Maybe I need to just suck it up, break free of my corner and do what my mom’s been doing for me.  One part of the problem is that I don’t exactly know what I want to do.  If I knew I wanted to be a banker, I know where all the banks are in my city.  If I knew I wanted to remove an “n” and be a baker, I have a friend who went to pastry school I could talk to.  I know plenty of people who know plenty of people, but I have trouble asking for certain jobs or people because I don’t know what I want to do.

Another part of the problem is that I don’t know when it’s appropriate to do so.  “Congratulations on your baby!  Does your company need someone to fill in for you during your maternity leave?”  “I’m sorry to hear your dog is sick.  Do you know if your vet’s office needs a receptionist?”  None of the above particularly goes with the flow of normal conversation – or has any trace of tact.

What I’ve been doing so far is just waiting for the not-so-elusive “What’s next?” question then I build on the conversation.  Usually people will just end the conversation with something along the lines of “don’t worry, you’ll find something soon,” but sometimes people will say that they know someone I should email or talk to.  When they give me suggestions I always follow up by emailing or calling, but so far, this is the extent of my networking.

I guess I will just have to be more out there and willing to make things happen for myself.  I’m setting a goal for myself and all of you reading this are my witnesses!  I WILL be more open and unafraid to ask people about their own jobs and experiences and hopefully gain more contacts and eventually a job.  If not for me, then for the chance to tell others about what I do and help them make their own contacts.  Maybe one day George will have a change of heart and will come knocking on my door asking me what I do for a living…  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: A girl can dream!