This weekend was Admitted Students Day and in between answering prospective students’ questions and bragging about Scripps, I realized that I have finally come to love Scripps and feel settled here. It took about a semester to fully settle into life here at Scripps and then another half semester to really love Scripps.

Along with my close friends, it is also my acquaintances who have helped me adjust to life at Scripps. I appreciate that at Scripps, the first-years are not separated from the upperclass students. When I got to Scripps I was assigned three official mentors; my Asian American Sponsor Group, my Core Mentor, and my Peer Mentor. To add to the list, I also met other upperclass students like my RAs and people in my dance class. At the beginning of the year, they seemed much older to me, but gradually, we have just become friends. At a big state school, I suspect that there is much more of a class year hierarchy, but here at Scripps, the older students want to be my friend. They’re always willing to explain a tricky essay prompt or just have lunch. I am going to miss being a first-year and knowing that there are three years ahead of me who can give me advice.

With graduation coming up, it’s also started to sink in that this is a place people cycle in and out of in four years. Since none of us first-years have seen the graduation ceremony, it’s easy to forget that there is something “Beyond the Elms.” Some weeks, I don’t leave the one mile block of the Claremont Colleges, and when I see someone who’s not between the ages of 18-24 or a professor, I’m surprised.  When I was a high school freshman, four years was such a long time, but entering college, four years seems so short. It’s taken me almost a year to settle into Scripps, and now I only have three more years here. Before I know it, I’ll be on the brink of graduation bracing myself for another one of life’s transitions. I’m going to miss all of the seniors and the support they have given me during this year of adjustment, and I wish all of them luck as they start another stage of life.

It is that time of year when decisions are being made. College acceptance results, job and internship offers, and campus organization positions for next year all come out around this time. I hate getting that email about the status of the application because I know that my emotions after opening it will be extremely happy or sad.

Extreme happiness after “the email” calls for celebration.

Here are three main reasons why rejections are hard for me.

1.I feel like someone has judged me and I didn’t pass their test. After hearing a “No,” I can’t help but go over everything I did and try to figure out what I did wrong.

2.I all my effort into the application process and invested my time to do my best, but it was all for nothing.

3.The hardest part for me is readjusting to the fact that I will not be getting the position and there are no more chances to try in the near future. When I get very excited about a position, I start planning like I already have the role and subconsciously act like it’s a for sure thing. So when reality hits, the adjustment period is rough.

On the other hand, here are three thoughts getting me thorough the season.

1.Don’t take rejection personally. An application and interview does not at all sum up who you are and sometimes, decisions can come down to the smallest details you have no control over.

2.You get to call the last shot. I suppose that this only applies to if you have multiple choices and get to choose the position you want out of many offers, but it’s comforting to know that while the employer has the power to unlock the door to a new job, you have the ultimate power to walk right past the door to the next door.

3.Behind every success are many more failures, we just see the successes and not the failures. Hearing this has changed the way I approach unfamiliar things and deal with “no’s.” I might as well go for what I want and not worry about failing, because successes come with failures. No’s aren’t anything to be ashamed of because everyone hears them, we just usually talk about the successes.

I thought that I wouldn’t ever go through another application season again once I turned in my last college application, but wow, was I wrong. I’ve done applications out my ears in the last two months and phew, am I applicationed out.

I have always dreaded applying because there are so many aspects of the process that are out of my comfort zone. I’ve never liked the feeling of someone watching me closely and evaluating me, I avoid showing off, and I detest competing with my peers. In dance, I always seem to mess up when my teacher is watching me, I wait ‘till after class to practice combinations so that nobody thinks I’m trying to show off, and I prefer to stand in the back when we have an informal, friendly pirouette (turn) competition. Applications are not at all my favorite thing.

I have gotten much more practice with applications during my first year at Scripps than in high school which is a great thing because I feel myself becoming more comfortable with the idea of someone evaluating me. I know that applications are the opportunity to come forward and sell yourself rather than shrink back. I just have to get comfortable going to the front of the group.

I learned from my first group interview this semester that it is possible for all of the things I don’t like about applications to culminate into one painful experience. During the group interview, I felt like the interview pitted me against my friends, and I felt pressured to act like a “leader.” To me, this would mean shouting over everyone else, trying to boss them around, and taking any opportunity to show off my talents. The interviewers were circling like sharks, and it seemed like people were just saving up insightful comments to say when interviewers were near. I avoided saying much when the interviewers were listening. Post-group interview, my head was filled with should’ves and could’ves with a healthy dose over overanalyzing.

Now, I am awaiting the results of my applications. It’s terrifying to open that email because so much time and energy was put into the process. Wish me luck because sometimes that’s all applications feel like, luck.

Over spring break and during the first week of school, I chipped away at the summer internship search by interviewing with one organization and researching and preparing for an interview with another.

I went into the office of Dream Foundation, a nonprofit like Make-a-Wish, only for adults. They grant last wishes to terminally ill patients, provide support for families, and reach out to local hospice patients. I volunteered with them extensively in high school so I was pretty comfortable coming into the office and I didn’t have to do much research about the organization before-yay!

They asked me to come in and “talk” with them over break so I figured it would be an informal interview. I brought my interview dress home because dressing is the safest. I still can’t tell if it was an informal interview or just a chit chat. The lady introduced me to another lady who I would be working more closely with, and she asked for a cover letter and resume. Ooops—I didn’t have one. I guess it is just assumed, even if you aren’t asked for one, to bring resume materials with you. Luckily the staff was understanding, and I managed to send them a resume and cover letter over by the afternoon.

I met with them a second time, and they offered me an internship. They explained how I could go through all of the offices and learn how each one functions. Sounds good to me. My main goal is to learn more about the structure of a nonprofit and try out a few things so this is perfect.

The other nonprofit, Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, is committed to a world free of nuclear weapons. I spent a good amount of time poking around their website and brushing up on what I learned in my high school IB class about the Cold War. Pre-research, I was very unconfident about the interview, but post-research, I felt prepared for most questions. The interview was okay. My answers were fine, but my delivery was filled with umms. Not having it in person was a bit disconcerting. Well, it’s nice to know that I have done everything I can and all I have to do is wait.

Now my job is to do nothing more and sit around.

   Get out the magnifying glass, deerstalker cap, and pipe because it’s time to track down that internship.

About a month ago, I started thinking about internships because I wanted to do something productive with my summer. I’m hoping to intern with a nonprofit that will let me work with their financial staff because I want to learn how nonprofits manage their money. Staying in my hometown this summer is also a must. All of this criteria quickly narrowed down my search so I got to work contacting organizations.

Nuclear Age Peace Foundation had a formal internship posted on their website with application instructions. A family friend told me about World Business Academy and I had volunteered at Dream Foundation in High School. The other organizations didn’t have formal internships so I had to call them. It was very surprising when I called them, and they told me to send a cover letter and resume. I was not at all expecting to write a cover letter and resume that soon, although I’ve learned that’s a pretty common first request.

I’ve never sent my resume off to strangers or written a cover letter so I was a bit scared. I wanted to get it out within the next two days to look extra on-top-of-it, so I got to work. After writing a very rough copy from the Resume section of CP&R’s Career Services Guide, I brought my letter over to CP&R.

Lily, awesome career consultant, who is a senior at Scripps, helped me revise my two cover letters at drop-in hours and she looked over my resume. With her help, I was able to send off my cover letter and resume to all three organizations within two days. I finished Nuclear Age Peace Foundation’s application within the next week.

Dream Foundation was the first to contact me. We’ve set up a time for me to “come in and talk” with them over spring break. I think that this means a pretty informal interview. Another three weeks went by, so I assumed that it would be me and Dream Foundation this summer, but then out of the blue, Nuclear Age Peace Foundation asked me about times I could interview. We are having a skype interview over spring break as well, but I am much more nervous for this. I’ve never used skype and I am pretty unconfident about my knowledge about nuclear weapons disarmament treaties and politics. Luckily, CP&R was there for me again. They are letting me use their conference room and laptop to skype Nuclear Age Peace Foundation.

Since starting the internship hunt, I have realized want a great resource CP&R is and urge anyone with the smallest question to go into the office. The staff is so nice. They all seem to have a talent with names and will answer all questions without making you feel like you should have known the answer. This is my first time ever going through this process, but I know that I have a whole office of people who are dedicated to helping me.