After just a handful of days in Spain, it is suddenly clear why Europeans live the good life.  Siesta; need I say more? (For all of those who haven’t had the chance to experience this integral part of Spanish culture, Siesta is a two-three hour nap following lunch everyday and just about the best thing since Nutella.) It seems like the entire city stops at 2 pm to soak in some summer sun and fill hungry stomachs full of delicious treasures. Paradise suddenly has a completely new meaning.

Unfortunately, I sat in bed today unable to indulge in this important Spanish tradition. A valid cultural experience actually. Instead of following suit, I tossed and turned vigorously for almost two hours straight before tossing the sheets aside to accept defeat. It was as if my mind would not accept the lifebuoy of relaxation in the middle of the day. A flood of thoughts stood in the way of me and sweet “z’s”: what time is it? When am I going to do that ever-expanding load of laundry? Was that green thing at lunch today? That was just the first 10 seconds of my failed R&R time, by the way.

I literally laid there feeling guilty for wasting crucial, potentially productive time. Thanks a lot United States…You can deny it all you want, but every European will tell you that Americans are a tad bit crazy. Work all day and think about work all night until it becomes an endless cycle. My program director put this concept into words quite eloquently, “Los espanoles trabajan para vivir, pero los americanos viven para trabajar.” Translation: The Spanish work to live, but Americans live to work. This concept is in our blood. Our phenomenal country is based upon the American dream, which believes that each individual can essentially “make it,” with the proper combination of hard work and diligence. So that guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach was reminding me that I still had a long way to go before I was allowed the pleasure of relaxation.

So in a strange way, I guess cultural immersion is a little more difficult than expected. I sat at my desk twiddling my thumbs for a bit trying to figure out what to exactly do with my time. This is a pretty familiar picture for many reasons. I feel like the majority of my time is spent trying to figure out exactly what I am supposed to be doing. My degree in Psychology and Economics always receives a look of both fascination and confusion from my follow peers, and the more that I think about it, the more confused I become. What exactly am I to do with my somewhat strange major though it is the perfect fit for me? Everyone I speak to relentlessly reminds me that my major is not of importance during my undergraduate years, but when it is the only thing I feel I have control over, I can’t help but concentrate on it as the key to my future success.

I must officially declare my major at the end of this year, and even though I am having the time of my life in one of the most phenomenal places in the world, I can’t help but wonder what my employers will think when they see two very different, but yet very similar social sciences on my transcript. Even more grueling, what is it that I want to do with the two subjects I chose for the soul purpose of intrigue factor. Research, non-profit, none of the above? The opportunity of a liberal arts education has opened a number of doors for me, but I also feel quite lost without a “pre-something” label. The logical part of me hates the surprise factor of the future and would rather have a concrete plan leading me to my next objective. I feel like I have somewhat been trained to look towards my final destination rather than enjoy the journey.

This is one of the times I wish my brain would allow me to embrace Siesta wholeheartedly.