Its November.  I am living day to day next to my smart phone, with it on my lap or next to my hand.  Every time I get a new email I cringe, opening only one eye, peeping at the first line to see if it starts off with a chipper greetings or a gloomy salutation.  That’s because its recruiting wrap up time in the finance world.  Any offers or superdays will come in within the next week as well as rejection emails and cold, impersonal Human Resources calls.  I have interviewed over a dozen times this fall and although it does get easier, each interview has its own particular challenges.

I had one this past week that was so good they called me that night to invite me back.  I was on my A-game and clicked with the interviewer.  Also I had one that made me want to walk out mid-interview.  The interviewer wanted to push and challenge me, and quite frankly he wanted to intimidate me.  Needless to say I don’t want to work for that firm, even if they’d have me.

As we wrap up these processes I can’t help but feel sad.  There is so much ‘hurry up and wait’ involved that all anticipation is painful and the success of one interview is easily overshadowed by rejections.   I’m not losing hope, just being realistic.

I have one offer, one completed superday, and two superdays on the books, so I’m in good shape…but I want more options, I want to know what office they are going to put me in (New York, San Fran, Chicago, LA, Anchorage?!).  I want to know the salary, the benefits, the lifestyle.  These things do matter, especially if you are moving to a new city.

And then, in my insanity, I was sitting at the computer thinking, “I want to go abroad, I want to see the world and backpack through Europe, I want a few months just to live”.  In my field of work, finance and from my family background, such thoughts are INSANITY.  Though I respect anyone who does them and am envious of their experiences.  They will probably live a longer and more stress free life than myself.

After 10 seconds, my feelings passed, but I can’t help but apply to a few long shot positions abroad.  I want adventure, I want excitement, and I know I’ll get options but I have to wait and be patient.   Patience is a virtue, but at the moment it feels like a thorn.

I am open to any suggestions of how to cope with the stress of full time recruiting: how to tell your professor you won’t be in class tomorrow because you are hopping a plane across the country, or how to remain focused on academics.  I know what I do: I take each day, each moment one at a time, and when I get too stressed, I blog.

Good luck to those of you who are in the same boat, and to those of you who have survived this, I salute you!