I apologize if I start to sound a little bit panicked in my pieces to come. My last month in Madrid seems more than preparation for next semester than anything else. It’s quite a bit of organization for the future. Isn’t that what we spend at least ¾ of our lives doing? Getting ready for the stuff to come- first high school to bulk up the resume for college, then college to bulk up the transcript for work, then work to live a comfortable life…Well, you know the tale. I’m in a foreign country, and I still can’t run away from the vicious cycle.

I have some applications floating out there and a hefty list of cover letters to write in addition to the added issue of graduating early. I feel like each semester I take on a little bit of a superwoman stereotype assuming I can complete just about anything. “Throw 8 classes my way!” I say, but regret about 5 minutes later. It’s all about finding a balance. However, that is easier said than done I tell you.

The high school years were my prime example of this little scales game. Like I mentioned before, I loaded up on all the activities I could not only because I enjoyed them, but because I was passionate about them. I soon found that sleep triumphs passion quite quickly. When I came to college, I was rather burnt out and ready for an episode of activity Survivor. I was sending something off the island. So, I immersed myself in activities I loved with absolutely no regrets. I was content with my choices and for the first time, didn’t feel that I was spread too thin. I felt invested both physically and emotionally in a few, selective circulars of choice. But, of course, that balance didn’t last long.

With a lack of activities, I began to load up my class schedule in hopes to keep busy. The first few weeks are ideal because in reality, the number of hours in the classroom are limited. But when midterm time comes along, that feeling of content quickly slips away. I face this same dilemma again this semester.

The question then becomes how much can I handle? The reality of it is that I am the only one who can answer that question, but I wish with all my heart that I could push this one off on someone else. I would love to believe that I have the ability to take it all on, but it’s a matter of finding out WHAT all I would like to take on yet again. As I try to select classes for the semester to come, I also have to keep my option of graduating early open and applying to jumpstart business programs if I decide that those are a good open. I am essentially basing my schedule on a ton of “what-if” questions.

If I do end up deciding to pursue a jumpstart business program, the GRE or GMAT will be added to my list of extra activities. As much as I would love to have those wonderful standardized tests consume my life yet again, I’m not even sure if that is an option if I decide to expand my class schedule while still attempting to stay alive.

There are lots of questions and not so many answers coming my way. I keep reminding myself its about finding balance, but what is on either side of the scale?