“What are you going to write for your research paper?” one of my suitemates asked me as we all congregated into our common room.

I smirked as I had already calculated what their response would be.

“I want to study the homophobic tension in hip-hop” I replied.

And just as I had predicted, they all waved their hands at their ridiculousness for even asking the question.

Anyone who knows me can attest to my impenetrable love for hip-hop culture. I have been digesting rap and R&B music since my birth, being spoon-fed Eminem and Tupac right in between my mashed carrots and peas. The culture, the attitude, and the style have been cultivated into my being and it often irks me to no end when I hear outsiders lament about the woes and troubles that hip-hop has brought into the world. Blindsided by their ignorance, these people are unable to comprehend the autonomy that hip-hop has brought to our youth and future youth generations to come. And even though hip-hop has a dark side, just like every culture, it also has genuine lasers of light beaming through its dark history in search for the truth. I like to envision myself as one of those lasers every time I dedicate one of my research papers or articles to hip-hop, as I have devoted myself to exposing the truth about hip-hop, the good and the ugly.

My love for hip-hop culture often baffles many people seeing as I am an African-American woman and hip-hop is notorious for its misogynistic language and dehumanizing portrayals of women, especially African-American women. So how could I ever want to work in that type of industry? Well, I feel that lack of women present in the corporate and professional hip-hop industry has played an important role in the depiction of women in hip-hop culture. What many people do not understand is that hip-hop began as a space for men of color in low-income communities to reassert their masculinity within a society that prided itself on the feminization and objectification of the black male body; thus hip-hop was not created with women in mind except to act as sexual objects of their fantasy. Even though this is where hip-hop began, it astounds me that people do not recognize that this is not where it necessarily has to remain. I want to assure you that I am not excusing rappers or members in hip-hop culture for their awful portrayals or their repugnant attitudes towards women, but how can we really make a change within the industry if women do not take the time to understand the foundation of hip-hop? How can we really make a change within the industry if the only women present are video hos? The hip-hop industry needs more of a female presence in higher up positions if there is ever going to be a change in the culture. I love hip-hop and even though it has its flaws, that still does not detract from its beauty or its resiliency. Hip-hop may not appreciate my womanhood now, but if I turn my back on it, it just might not ever.