Confession: I only applied to one summer internship program at a battered women shelter. I’m waiting for them to pencil me in, so to speak, for an interview sometime this month.

Happy related confession: Although the internship has not been officially secured (eek fingers crossed) I’ve been talking with the people who work there and it is confirmed that I will be working with them one way or another over the summer and very possibly beyond.

If I’m honest, which I’m trying really hard to be, the reason that I didn’t apply for more internships is because I really didn’t want to. I just hate filling out applications, waiting for responses, and composing formals emails. But, mostly, I hate the filling out apps part. It takes so much time and effort to package and present myself in metaphorical glitter, ribbons, and scented paper in an effort to be the most appealing candidate. Just, uugghhh. Obviously, I’m going to have to deal with it because they are as inevitable and as undesirable as taxes. But in all seriousness, I went through over 300 internships on The Gateway and most of them just didn’t feel quite…right. Props to everyone who did find and got really awesome internships that way, seriously, it’s impressive. For me though, I couldn’t shake my amplified aversion to applications this semester. Just as an explanation to why I applied to that one internship: Part of it was due to very personal reasons. The other part is that what they do there is important and necessary, the values that they stand for are values that I believe in and care deeply about, and that the community they serve is my community.

Okay, now that my dislike for applications is off my chest, the other part of my decision to not apply to more internships is that I wanted to start my own hands-on project that would have tangible effects. I mean the point of paying a ridiculous amount of money for a liberal arts education is kinda so that the things I learn here are going to be applied in real ways out there. So the specifics: I’m going to start a radio, or podcast, program specifically for showcasing the fictional, nonfictional, and everything in between works of the women who are or were incarcerated. This project was inspired by my Core II class on the prison system during which we had the amazing opportunity to participate in a writing workshop with the women at the women’s prison in Chino. Attending the writing workshops, meeting the women, and hearing their stories really got to me. Theory never takes precedence over experiences and their experiences told stories of strength, suffering, courage, and hope. Serious work needs to be done to reverse the dehumanization of people who are or have been incarcerated. They are so much more complex, more genuine, more talented, more thoughtful, more insightful, more resourceful, just so much more than an identifier heavy with stigmas such as “prisoner” can ever convey. I am very excited to be able to serve as a medium through whom their authentic voices can be amplified, spread, and most importantly heard by more people.

There are obvious perks that come with starting my own project. Some things that come to mind include the autonomy over my own work, the exciting (and equally scary) process of learning from doing, the rewarding results, the interactions with real people instead of ideas, and the working in PJs in the comfort of my own bed with the glorious Cali sunrise. (I’m a true early bird especially over the summer.) Also, no applications needed.