When I was in fourth grade, my elementary school held a spelling bee. I won on the word “chromosome” and passed the subsequent written exam by a hair (25/50 words correct with a cutoff of 24/50), which landed me in the oral part of the competition. This section was in the conference room of some large building in San Francisco, a twenty-minute drive from my little school. I remember feeling cold in the air conditioning and noticing there were no windows; the whole setup felt intimidating, suffocating, and impersonal, all at once. After I walked up to the microphone and spelled “A-R-S-O-N-I-C”, my chest felt tight, and I knew even before the judges rang the bell that I was going to be eliminated on the very first round.

And that is how I learned to spell “arsenic”.

I don’t mean for this story to sound depressing; in fact, I find it reassuring. Though fourth grade was more than a decade ago, remembering the spelling bee gives me strength and comfort. It reminds me of a time when I learned from a mistake and reassures me I will do so with each new one I make.

I turned to this “arsenic” story most recently when I applied—or should I say, failed to apply—to the Rose Institute. (Read about the beginning of the story here) The application deadline was not given in the information session, on the website announcing the job openings, or on the application itself. And so I had just finished my application and cover letter when I found out that group interviews had already been scheduled.

As would any good Scrippsie who has read Ask For It by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever and taken Professors Sean Flynn and Nancy Macko’s CORE III class, “Economics of Gender and Choice”, I decided to try and negotiate. I went to the Rose Institute the next morning with a hard copy of my application and asked one of the staff members I had met during the information session to pass it along to the hiring manager. I also sent the hiring manager a follow-up email with my application in soft copy. Here’s how I phrased it:

“I am writing to follow up regarding my late application submission to be a research assistant at the Rose Institute. I didn’t hear about a deadline either at the information session or online (I ultimately found out from David on Tuesday night), and sincerely apologize for making the mistake of assuming it was rolling.

 I went by the office Wednesday morning and gave a hard copy of my application to [name]; I am also attaching a soft copy to this message. Would you please confirm receipt?  I will understand if you refuse to review my application, but if you are willing, I am still very interested in the position and would appreciate the chance to discuss my qualifications with a member of your hiring committee. Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope to hear from you soon.”

(Please note that I am including this excerpt only for illustrative purposes; sensitive career-related situations call for the expertise of Career Planning & Resources!)

As you might have guessed, the Rose ultimately didn’t accept my application. I would like to explicitly state that it is not at all my intention to make excuses or blame others. It was strictly my fault for making the elementary mistake of assuming there wasn’t a deadline. I was really frustrated at myself for letting such a great opportunity slip through my fingers. But then I read this article titled, Can a thirst for revenge help your career? It talked about “channeling anger into superior performance” and closed with the following quotation: “You need great allies but it also helps to have a good enemy, someone you want to prove things to.” I don’t have the sense that anyone has wronged me, and I certainly don’t feel vengeful; but reflecting on the spelling bee and this incident with the Rose Institute makes me think that I have a “good enemy” in myself. Like I said earlier, I blame myself for not checking the deadline; and I will definitely make more mistakes in my professional journey. The best thing I can do, now and in the future, is to learn from them and make them valuable experiences.

Upcoming this week: I have a one-on-one meeting with Neva from the Office of Off-Campus Study to start researching programs. I’m also seeing my advisor to discuss my major and credit requirements. And I’ve finally scheduled a pre-session meeting with CP&R to take a personality assessment. So I’ll have lots to share next week!