It feels like just the other day I called home in tears as I scrolled through the Portal on my laptop to pick classes for my second semester. I couldn’t fathom how to pick the four classes that would lead me to the elusive perfect major and passion of my dreams. I refreshed the portal in a panic, watching in despair as all of my chosen classes filled to the brim.

As my first-choice options dwindled away, one by one, a new wave of terror flooded over me as I realized that I had to put myself through another round of choices, this time factoring in those that had any space remaining.  

I randomly scrolled through the most disparate reaches of the portal, browsing through every single option of the dropdown “Course Area” menu to make sure I had left no stone unturned.

Of course, this left me feeling not only overwhelmed with options, but also with the looming fear that I would make a wrong choice. I had no declared major, no four year plan, a good-hearted (but distracted) advisor, and no schedule.

In the end, I followed the advice I had heard on loop from my advisor–“Fulfill your GEs!” I managed to sign up for courses that all fulfilled GEs, despite the fact that I wasn’t sure how interested I was in them. Environmental? Econ? Anthropology?

I was halfway trying to listen to the suggestions of my family and friends–to take classes I thought sounded interesting–but I felt too grounded in what seemed ‘practical’ and also, honestly, scared to take the classes too far out of my comfort zone.

So, second semester, I had a schedule that checked off a whole lot of the boxes that needed to be filled before I could graduate, but little headway on a major. Maybe I should have pushed myself more to try a class I didn’t feel seasoned enough to be in. Or maybe I should have pushed harder to get into that class I for which I was waitlisted.

But, it turns out that the world of the registrar had other things in store for me. Due to a professor’s unexpected leave, my Core II class was cancelled. My whole schedule was up in the air again as I tried to pick a Core that was still open, didn’t conflict with my other classes, and sounded intriguing. It was a bit of a mess. I ended up in a Core that was less humanities focused that I would have liked, and only managed at the last second to swap into the Core I had originally hoped to be in, taught by an English professor.

And honestly, it was my favorite class. As exasperated as I was at the time, having to pick a whole other set of classes, I am so glad it happened. If it hadn’t, I wouldn’t have taken a class that made me feel as though my contributions were valuable to class discussion, a class I always looked forward to and where it suddenly wasn’t daunting to speak up. The class not only helped establish my voice and confidence as a student, but also truly helped me understand what I enjoyed doing.

It led me to take my first real English class this semester, and as indecisive as I am, professors have been so supportive and let me know that I am making a valid choice.

With the spring semester Scripps course catalogue just released, I am actually looking forward to choosing my classes, instead of desperately looking for anything that might be vaguely interesting to me, or even just open. So, next time a class is full or my schedule gets turned upside down, I’ll remember that it’s not always a bad thing–just a time to really consider what I think could be a step in the right direction.