“What is your dream job?”

I can not tell you the number of times I have been asked this question, either in person, or in a written job application. There’s nothing wrong with this question if you happen to know your dream job, but for indecisive, wandering, confused people like me, this question may prove to be more problematic.

First of all, if I had a dream job, and it was something that was somewhat feasible to pursue, I would be doing that. However, when I try to conjure up what that job would be, I can’t seem to figure out how to combine my interests into a single career; I like working with kids, doing things with my hands, creativity and design, writing, cooking and eating, playing sports, being outdoors, meeting new people, learning about political and social issues and causes, etc. I also find it difficult to separate my hobbies and interests from what would be viable career-wise. I sometimes have the fear that if i do something I love too much, I will end up hating it. For example, when I was deciding what sport to start in high school, I considered cross country because I like to run, but I instead opted for team sports like lacrosse and field hockey because I thought that if I just ran for the sake of running every single day, I would end up hating it, and I really did not want to end up hating something that was such a productive stress reliever.

In addition, something that I have realized with the help of my mom (my ultimate self-help guru and life coach) is that I don’t need to have a dream job or career figured out right now. Even though it often feels like everyone has it figured out, they really don’t. Sometimes when I am going on anxiety-induced-rants to my mom about how I need to “figure it out now” or else I will screw everything up, she reminds me that even my friends who have known their school majors or careers since they were four might change their mind, or they might end up sticking with it but then miss out on a lot of experiences they could have had exploring other interests.

Source: The Hills

My mom also reminded me that for the most part, any type of job experience is helpful, and just because all of my professional experience doesn’t fit into a linear narrative doesn’t mean it isn’t useful. I can be flexible, and see where things take me.

For example, when my mom was studying at UC Berkeley for undergrad, she didn’t know what to major in until her advisor “suggested” she do sociology because she “had taken the most courses in that department.” After that, she ended up managing a tennis club for around a decade before deciding to go to law school. The point is, unless you are planning on becoming a neurosurgeon or something with very precise prerequisites and requirements (and even then you still don’t need to have every little detail figured out) you don’t need to only do things that are a “precursor” for you dream job or career. You can try things out and see if there is anything that speaks to you.

I may not have a dream job, but I am coming to terms with it. I am trying my best to be flexible, and try out a bunch of different things. I still have interests, hobbies, and ambition, and I’m hoping that’s enough.