Resume Woes

You know the Edvard Munch painting, The Scream? With the figure with its hands on its cheeks and its mouth wide open in an expression of the deepest, most utmost, almost existential terror? That’s basically the face I’ve been making for the past three days.

My computer is dead! I have lost everything! I feel like half a person without my trusty MacBook Pro by my side. Luckily, I didn’t have anything terribly valuable on there (unless you count the complete discography of Britney Spears, but…) so once I get a new hard drive, I should by ready to go—well, kind of. One crucial key is missing.

I have lost my beautiful, beautiful resume.

I know everything that was on my resume, but my perfect, neat, organized template is gone. And did I use Georgia font, or Verdana—or was it Constantia? All I know is that is wasn’t Comic Sans. So, it’s off to create a new resume.

Do you know that scene in American Psycho where they’re all comparing business cards? Here, I’ll show you.

I really like this video. I like it not only because I’m a font geek, but because I think there’s some element of truth to it. Christian Bale’s character, Patrick Bateman (who, by the way, is a psychopathic serial killer but that’s beside the point here) knows the power of how you choose to present yourself on paper. A good resume is sort of like a really, really large business card. A well-formatted resume makes you look awesome. While it won’t remedy your lack of experience or, say, a warrant out for your arrest, a sharply formatted resume will make you look smarter, more organized, and maybe a little more chic.

So with that in mind, I set out to rewrite a resume that would make even Patrick Bateman proud.

I talked to my friend (let’s call her S) for advice. S works on a political campaign back in Chicago coordinating volunteers, and she sees a lot of resumes.

“S,” quoth I, “please help me. My experience is pretty good and I have all my information, but it looks tacky. Do you have any tips?”

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Allow Me to Introduce… Myself.

My name is Julia and I am in crisis mode.

Here’s the scoop: I started out my freshman year thinking that I would major in Political Science. Everything was fine and dandy until about first semester sophomore year, when I decided that I should really go back to something I had studied in high school extensively: film and media studies. But then, I was taking German classes (and really digging them) and I knew I wanted to do a year abroad in Germany, but that would really complicate either a Poli-Sci or MS major, and I would end up with a German major, but then what about Gen Ed credits, and then—AAHH!

I’m sure that every student has a freakout like this at least once in her undergraduate career, and it’s a really terrible position to be in. I was out of sorts during my own academic meltdown, making frantic 2 AM calls to my parents and losing way too much sleep. The only thing that could really calm me down was this one clip on YouTube. It was my favorite player (Bastian Schweinsteiger) on my favorite soccer team (Bayern Munich) scoring a spectacular goal during an important match earlier this season. I remember one particularly bad night where I probably watched that nine or ten times. But that has nothing to do with my academics, right?

…wait a second.

It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize that the thing I most enjoyed was a facet of the German culture. Isn’t that one of my tentative majors? I am applying to study abroad in Munich—that’s where Bayern plays. Maybe I could see a Bayern game in person, right? Become fluent enough in German to scream along? Suddenly, things began to fall into place. I’m not going to give up the chance to study abroad for a year to give myself more leeway in my courses. And that boring class I’m taking now to fulfill a MS requirement? Dropped. I’ve decided to concentrate on what I really love: German Studies. Learning the language, the politics, the arts (and the sports) are what really, truly excite me.

So for now, I’m on track to become a German major. I’m still taking politics and media studies courses, but if I don’t end up with enough credits to minor in either, who cares? I think that college is exploring what you love—but still having time to learn about other things. I think it’s a common misconception that language majors are kind of useless (what do you do with a German major?) but, well, not only do I not agree with that, I don’t care. Will it make a huge difference in a summer internship? I’m not positive, but I’ve got a pretty good idea that my future employers aren’t sitting around saying “Oh, but she’s not a Politics major. We can’t have her emptying our trash and writing briefs.” or “But without a Media Studies major, she can’t possibly do data entry.”

I’m going to close out my inaugural blog entry by saying something that I often forget, and which I think everyone should keep in mind: I am not my major. College should be about preparing for the great wild world of work out there, not limiting possibilities. If an employer isn’t going to appreciate my mad German skillz, do I really want to work for them? Not really.

Crisis averted. Viel glueck mit euere Arbeitsuche, blog readers!