You know the Edvard Munch painting, The Scream? With the figure with its hands on its cheeks and its mouth wide open in an expression of the deepest, most utmost, almost existential terror? That’s basically the face I’ve been making for the past three days.
My computer is dead! I have lost everything! I feel like half a person without my trusty MacBook Pro by my side. Luckily, I didn’t have anything terribly valuable on there (unless you count the complete discography of Britney Spears, but…) so once I get a new hard drive, I should by ready to go—well, kind of. One crucial key is missing.
I have lost my beautiful, beautiful resume.
I know everything that was on my resume, but my perfect, neat, organized template is gone. And did I use Georgia font, or Verdana—or was it Constantia? All I know is that is wasn’t Comic Sans. So, it’s off to create a new resume.
Do you know that scene in American Psycho where they’re all comparing business cards? Here, I’ll show you.
I really like this video. I like it not only because I’m a font geek, but because I think there’s some element of truth to it. Christian Bale’s character, Patrick Bateman (who, by the way, is a psychopathic serial killer but that’s beside the point here) knows the power of how you choose to present yourself on paper. A good resume is sort of like a really, really large business card. A well-formatted resume makes you look awesome. While it won’t remedy your lack of experience or, say, a warrant out for your arrest, a sharply formatted resume will make you look smarter, more organized, and maybe a little more chic.
So with that in mind, I set out to rewrite a resume that would make even Patrick Bateman proud.
I talked to my friend (let’s call her S) for advice. S works on a political campaign back in Chicago coordinating volunteers, and she sees a lot of resumes.
“S,” quoth I, “please help me. My experience is pretty good and I have all my information, but it looks tacky. Do you have any tips?”