Fear, Accomplishment, and Major Decisions?

I’ve spent the last few weeks obsessing about a project. It was very detailed and involved organizing a lot of very technical information. I’m bad at details, I was scared of making mistakes interpreting the technical details, and generally spent a lot of time freaking out in front of my spreadsheets. (Not to mention complaining to my sister, mother, significant other, bestie from high school, Scripps friends, etc…)

But the last few days I’ve been in a meeting at which the fruits of my labor, cards visualizing the development scheduling of different applications’ pieces of interfaces, are displayed all over the wall. My cards are driving the discussion, and as intended, getting moved around and edited. I’ll be updating the spreadsheet to keep track of key changes. Despite my fears of being known as the intern who messed up the big meeting, I’ve been getting a lot of great acknowledgement from my team and the larger project for my work.

This has become a bit of a pattern for me, both in my blog posts (sorry for the repetition!) and in my personal life. I think that I am not up to a challenge, but I am. I imagine every permutation of failure, work really hard, and then…don’t fail. This feels good. It might not be the most efficient or reasonable way to get work done (I wish I could skip the self-doubt part) but it does work for me. And this process, silly as it may sound, is actually an improvement personally from a time where I would get stuck in my worries and never overcome my fears.

I think I’ve gotten better at getting through my crisis worry mode because of practice. Successfully taking math, a subject that reduced me to tears in high school, has acclimated me to tackling the unfamiliar and challenging. I know how to work through the scary stuff, even though it still scares me. The way through is just lots of work, lots of time, and lots of questions. It sounds obvious, but it can be terrifying to do all of those things when the possibility of failure, and all that effort wasted, looms.

I’m a firm believer that practice makes perfecter (clearly I haven’t quite achieved perfection in grammar). Thinking about this habit in my work life and my academic life has helped me solidify my plan to major in Mathematical Economics. Economics fascinates me, and math both interests me and scares me out of my wits. But I want to keep on practicing working through that fear, because out in the working world, I’m going to encounter problems that seem unsolvable. I want the toolkit to face those problems down.

How I Picked My Major (And Got Excited About Thesis)

I am a junior majoring in Gender and Women’s studies, but when I first came to Scripps, the GWS major was not even on my radar. Even during my first semester, when I was still extremely undecided, I had two new friend/mentors (both class of 2012 and no longer on campus) who told me that I should look into the GWS major because it seemed like a really good fit for me. I listened to their advice and that is a large part of what got me to where I am today, but not everyone has older friends who can advise them that way, and I certainly didn’t pick my major on their recommendations alone. I had a system. And so, I bring to you today my 5 steps to picking a major that will (most likely) be the right one for you.

  1. Make a list (written or mental) of departments and majors you think you are interested in.
  2. Add to that list any other major that others have suggested might be a good fit for you (these can be peers, mentors, family – but probably shouldn’t include that major that your parents or guardians wished you would do but honestly have no interest in.)
  3. Look at the department pages (found on the Scripps website under Academics -> Departments and Courses of Study, or click here) and actually read what the department has to say about itself. Their goals as a department might give you a new understanding of what the major is about.
  4. [THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP] Read through the major requirements and truly imagine yourself taking all of those classes. If a lot of them are electives (as in my GWS major), look at the kind of courses that can fulfill those and pick a few as if you were setting up your schedule. If half of the classes sound boring to you, it might not be the right major.
  5. If you’re still having trouble narrowing down the list, you could start playing around with combinations of dual or double majors, or majors and minors that would still enable you to study what you love. This is where those semester-by-semester plans are key. You might realize that you can only pull off the double major you want by starting the very next semester, or you might have a little more wiggle room.

Here is a key point to picking your major (at least with my method): if you think it is going to be boring or make you miserable, you should probably look for something else, because that disinterest is going to show in your work for your classes, and you are not going to want to do a thesis in that subject. While senior thesis can seem really far away and indistinct to a first year student, it doesn’t hurt to think ahead in a general sense. Senior thesis is going to be a lot of work, but it should to some degree, be something you’re excited about- I know I am! But that’s because I found a major that I really loved.

If you picked your major with a different method, tell me about it! Did you ever try something like this? And can someone please tell me that I am not the only person excited about doing thesis?

Hello, Stranger!

Class introductions were different for me this fall. When asked to state my year and major, I was confident in my answer: I am a sophomore and I dual major in English and legal studies. My answer was completely different just last year. In high school one of my best subjects was history, specifically global studies. Although I took the class my senior year, it was the first class I ever took that focused on current events and the contemporary issues that plague our modern society, such as genocide and nuclear warfare. I loved that class and it left a considerable impression on me. For a long time I wanted to major in history and international relations, what I believed would be a perfect segue into a career in politics or at least law school.

I am a “planner”. I enjoy planning everything down to even the minutest details. Before I started classes last fall I had eight Excel files saved on my laptop. They were titled “Fall 2011”, “Spring 2012”, “Fall 2012”… and so on. I had planned every semester from Fall 2011 to Spring 2015 complete with alternatives (Just in case a class I wanted to take filled up or was not offered that semester.) and even a list of potential work-study jobs. You probably think I am crazy and perhaps a little obsessive, but I find that a fair number of my fellow Scrippsies are also planners (though not quite as outrageous as myself). This past week I had the opportunity to meet a small handful of first year students and they are truly some of the most incredible people I have met. (One of them is a stand up comedian and she has been one for quite some time…and to think she is only eighteen years old!).

You all are very accomplished young women, and I am confident that no matter what major or career path you choose you will achieve great success as well as personal fulfillment. So my advice to you is this: Take it easy. I understand that you all have a huge burden on your shoulders – an unspoken responsibility to your parents, your family, your friends, your peers – but I would like to encourage you to take everything with a grain of salt this year. So the art history class you are taking is a lot more challenging than you expected. Take another one next semester – one difficult experience or bad grade is not necessary a red flag for you to change your major. Or say you are a perspective foreign languages major who finds that she enjoys her sociology class a lot more than her German class. Consider taking more classes in that area and perhaps even majoring in Sociology (Or dual majoring in Foreign Languages and Sociology, a winning combination!).

You have four wonderful, wonderful years ahead of you and most likely even more years between undergrad and grad school or your dream job. You do not, I repeat, you do not need to know all the answers now. I know it will be difficult, but try not to think too much now of your prospective major(s) or how your degree will be applicable in the future. For now, take it easy. Take that bookbinding class and join the lacrosse team and go to that mixer this afternoon. One of your main priorities now should be figuring out what you truly enjoy doing. Life is a marathon, so be prepared to encounter detours and be open to taking a different route. If you box yourself into a set four-year plan now, you will miss out on perhaps life changing opportunities. For instance, that survey class you took to fulfill your letters requirement could potentially persuade you to change your major from history to English!

What classes are you taking this semester? Do you enjoy one or two more than you expected?