Hurray! I am exhausted and so ready to not look at my Fulbright and Watson applications any longer. Luckily, I handed my Watson to Claire Bridge in the Office of the President before the noon deadline yesterday, and sent my Fulbright application off somewhere into cyberspace just after that. I thought I was going to feel more of a weight off my shoulders but the thing is, it’s all just beginning! I have a mock Fulbright interview this Friday, proper interviews next week, and should the committee like my Watson proposal (cross your fingers) I’ll have an interview for that, too. Then, of course, there’s that thesis proposal due and a paper.

Here’s a cool old map of the Camino de Compostela, a pilgrimage route in northern Spain I may be trekking around this time next year should my Watson be selected. (thanks to the RetireUSA blog)

I’m not going to lie. I struggled to keep myself chugging away on both of the applications (why is writing single spaced so much more difficult than double spaced?), and there were a certain, very few, factors that kept me going when the Fulbright Embark Online Application logged me out for the 50^th time.

They were:
1) The professors I asked to write my references. On the whole they were sweet and enthusiastic that the thought of just…skipping the Watson application after so many hours of research and work felt like letting them down more than letting myself down. In particular I’m thinking of one amazing Pomona religious studies professor, who will be writing a Watson reference should I be selected but not a Fulbright, and told me rather gleefully at the Religious Studies tea last week that he “couldn’t wait to write my letter” and that he “already had most of it written in his head”. Remembering that professors I respect and have learned so much from feel that way encouraged me to get back to work.

2) How much I would actually love to carry out my projects. If either of them sounded any less fascinating and up my alley, I would’ve struggled even more to complete them. Both proposals combine my love for anthropological research with an exploration of young people’s narratives of religious identity, whether to do with Islam in Jordan for the research Fulbright (titled “Perspectives on Faith: Shifting Religious Identities of Young Jordanians”) or with different religious pilgrimages for the Watson. I think the fact that I haven’t lost interest but in fact my interest is still growing is a good sign, and I look forward to testing my passion and knowledge of these subjects in interviews to come.

Here’s a cool aerial view of Amman, in the running for my new home after graduation! (thanks Wikipedia)

Really though, we should celebrate! I’m going out to Eureka Burger for dinner with a whole bunch of friends who were working on the Fulbright, Watson, or both to celebrate our accomplishment. The thing is, any experience or process that forces you to think critically about what you love to do, what you find fascinating, where else you can explore is a valuable exercise whether or not you get awarded funds. Last year in hopes of doing research in Beirut, I put together a proposal and applied for a Johnson research grant from Scripps. The application forced me to clarify a lot of things that were simply fuzzy ideas before and while when I didn’t get the grant I was disappointed,  I was grateful that I had had the chance to do this. I was able to strengthen my proposal, find an internship that also matched up with my interests, and actually get more funding when I was awarded the Conflict Management Internship grant.

So how are other fellowship applicants feeling? Relieved? Ready to sleep for about 48 hours? Congratulations to all!