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Dealing with Mistakes and Rejection: When things don’t go as planned

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As lovely as it would be for everything to go perfectly according to plan, it rarely happens that way. There are always bumps and goof ups that happen along the way, and the most important part is that we can adjust and keep moving on.

When I got to campus, I applied for a few jobs. I went through interviews, and waited to hear if I had gotten the positions. For both cases, I had felt relatively confident about my interview and my application, but none of the positions that I applied for worked out. I was definitely broken up, but I had to keep in mind that it wasn’t personal.

After all, in the sea of amazing and well qualified women here, I was just one fish, and a first year at that (not to say that the latter hurts, but it may not help). I took a bit to center myself. Sure, it would have been nice to have a paid job on campus, but it wasn’t a requirement. There are other things I can do, and it’s by no means the end of the world to not have a job.

And I was right: I honestly am not sure I’d have time to work right now between my classes and the extra curricular activities that I’ve picked up (plus the essentials like spending time with friends, self-care time, and sleep). The biggest thing about dealing with rejection is thinking about ways to try again with a fresh start another time while moving forward and not dwelling on the past.

Another thing that’s easy to dwell on is a mistake. Recently, I missed a deadline for blogging, and I was (figuratively) beating my head against the wall for it. It’s not the first time I’ve tripped up, so I was extra mad at myself for getting behind again.

The most important things to do with mistakes are a) apologize, b) make amends, and c) take steps to avoid doing the same thing again. Some mistakes do happen twice, but it’s important to avoid letting them happen a third time.

I sent an apology email, I took action on my blog post that I missed, and I started a fresh post for the new cycle to get on my game early. I also took out my planner and marked each post assignment date clearly, and in my best writing, so I won’t let the ball drop again. For me, calendars and reminder systems like lists work wonders.

As much as it’s easy to get worked up into a funk, don’t let a mistake ruin your day. A mistake is simply an unintended error. You may not have meant to do it, but you can make steps to fix it in the future and apologize for what has happened. There’s no use crying over spilled milk! Remember that most of the times, forgiving yourself is harder than being forgiven by someone else.

No matter what, whether disappointed with an outcome or with something you’ve done, know there will be second chances, you just need to plan ahead for them.

Mucho Character

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My mother’s mentality is tough. Growing up, I have been taught that every hardship builds some sort of character. My scraped knees, rainy birthdays, failed spelling bees and crushed crushes were always remedied by my mother’s aggressive assertions that I was fine and these downfalls would help me grow as a human. As a sensitive and emotional child, this was hard to react to. I know that my mom is always right, but I still had a natural desire to pout and be bummed about my petty shortcomings. Sometimes we all have the urge to just throw a tantrum! My mother conditioned me to not cry at every U9 rec soccer game, because: 1. Its recreational children’s soccer and 2. Losing is more useful than winning. I have always had a competitive soul, so I couldn’t comprehend why my mother thought this.  I later learned that my mothers harsh philosophy is valid, and is a useful application.

At the beginning of the semester, I decided that I would I could take on the challenge of Calculus despite my broken relationship with math. I didn’t even place into Calculus but I was so advent on getting my math requirement out of the way, and did not like the idea of taking a lower level class. My advisor and parents both advised me to just take a lower level math class, but I was arrogant. I took Calculus in high school; this should be fine! I was much too confident striding into the class, and became overwhelmed from the get-go. I ended up dropping the class, which upset me to know that I failed. After initial sadness and frustration, my mother’s words came to mind as usual. My downfall has taught to listen to the people around me (who know what they are talking about!) and that these things happen… You just have to move forward.

With this mantra inscribed in the side of my thoughts, I have become stronger from my disappointments in life. I offer that you too can take away lessons from all the wrinkles in life, especially in this often disappointing career world. Buck up, and move forward with strength from your mistakes!