Tag Archives: stress

Tips for When the Going Gets Tough

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When life hits you all at once, it can be really hard to accept how you’re feeling and give yourself the time to process all your emotions. This week, I got out of a meeting and immediately felt like crying. I missed my mom and I suddenly felt so emotional that I couldn’t hold back my tears.

At the time, I was having a really hard time rationalizing my emotions, trying to figure out why I was feeling so sad, and could not come up with anything that made sense. The problem I realized later in the day was that, my feelings didn’t necessarily need to make sense. I think that often, as women, we are chastised for showing too much emotion, often being told that we are too emotional, and also that we are irrational as a result. What I have been realizing more and more often is that you feel what you feel and there is no stopping it. I also recognized that my feelings were likely a product of stress, even though at the time, I didn’t consciously feel stressed.

This is a very busy time in the semester, with midterms and papers being due, and it can be overwhelming trying to stay on top of everything. If there are times where you do feel like pulling your hair out, or you just feel like you can’t take it any more, here are some things you can do to cool off:

  1. Allow yourself to cry. Sometimes, I try to hold in my tears, when I could really benefit from just letting them out. Crying can be very cathartic, and I often feel better after I empty my tear ducts.
  2. If you can take a step from something, anything, do it! Even if it’s just skipping a meeting that you were planning on attending so that you can take some time to practice self care, it will be worth it.
  3. Go for a walk, go to the gym, do something to get your body moving. Even if you’re not training for a marathon or getting in shape for a sport, just doing something to get your heart rate up can be so beneficial for, not only your physical health, but also your mental and emotional health. It has also been proven to relieve stress and can get endorphins flowing so that you feel happier afterwards.
  4. Call a friend, a family member, or talk with someone in person! The truth is that most people have either had similar experiences and can relate to what you’re feeling. It can feel so good to have someone affirm what you’re feeling, even though it is important to note that, even if someone doesn’t affirm your feelings, THEY ARE STILL 100% VALID.   
  5. Eat something delicious! I would not necessarily condone stress eating, though I am victim of it, but eating something healthy and delicious can help jumpstart your system and is great fuel for your brain. It’s not always to make healthy decisions when you’re stressed, but it’s the most important time to eat healthier. Try for at least one veggie or fruit per meal!

These are my tips, but if you have any that I haven’t listed, please comment below! Here’s to a great week, and coming up, spring break!!

When it feels like you missed out

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It can be devastating to find out that you missed out on an opportunity.  It could be that you found out about the most amazing internship or job opportunity one day after the deadline passed.  It could be that you found out one day before the deadline and despite your best effort to churn out a cover letter, it just doesn’t happen.  Or it could even be that you were having quite the week and a deadline just totally slipped your mind.  I have certainly had all these kinds of experiences and while they happen for one reason or another, they are still unfortunate either way. 

I nearly missed the most amazing opportunity to apply to an internship recently.  A few weeks ago, I was connected to a recruiter from an amazing media company.  This company had the perfect internship for me, all I had to do was reach out to this recruiter to get next steps about the position and to learn more about a company I would love to work at.  But for one reason or another, things got busy and the tasked disappeared from my to-do list.  It was fortunate that I was able to catch my error with a timely reminder about the opportunity but it was certainly a close one. 

Even the best of us sometimes slip up when it comes to the application process, whether for a job or internship.  We have so many balls to juggle from deadlines, to supplements, to letters of recommendation.  The best thing I have found to do when you feel like you have messed up or are cutting it close, is to relax.  I remember feeling panicked when I discovered how close I was to the deadline.  I felt terrible that this amazing opportunity to connect and apply had fell into my lap and I didn’t take immediate advantage of it.  But these feelings of panic and regret were going to help me still do my best to take advantage of the situation.  I made sure to do simple things like remember common courtesy.  I profusely thanked my connection for reminding me of the opportunity.  Without her this never would have happened in the first place so it was only professional to thank her.  I remembered to slow down when looking at my application materials to make sure that I didn’t make any mistakes.  Although I did get my materials in on time and made a fantastic connection, this defiantly applies to when you do actually miss a deadline.  It cant hurt to send an email to see if there is still a possibility to apply for the position after the deadline, provided you are professional and courteous.  Above all remember that one missed deadline is not going to be the end of the world.  There are many opportunities out there, the important thing is not to get discouraged.  My specific situation was a good reminder though.  To not only stay on top of application materials and connections, but also to be gracious and professional, even if inside you feel like you made a mistake.

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee: Finding Warm Comfort During Finals

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Earlier this week, I found myself attempting to count sheep and invite sleep at 3:00am with no luck.  I was exhausted, but my eyes wouldn’t stay shut, and my brain simply wouldn’t turn off.  Finals and projects and papers and homework and assignment after assignment danced behind by closed eyelids.  As I continuously tried to slip into dreamland to prepare for my early morning internship, I found myself craving a good cup of coffee.  Strange, I thought, that I would be craving something to keep me awake as I was falling asleep.  After another few minutes of pondering, I realized that it wasn’t caffeine that I was craving, it was the comfort of a warm, familiar beverage at a time of stress and anxiety.  I eventually fell asleep and enjoyed my cup o’ joe in the morning.

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Continuing with this coffee theme, yesterday at my internship there were a variety of new faces and protocols coming at me from left and right.  I felt overwhelmed and stressed (likely brought on from dehydration, exhaustion, and a plethora of other factors that seem to plague me in these dark days), and I once again felt myself craving coffee, a comfy chair, and a warm blanket.  Like a ray of sun shining through my cloudy, anxious morning, I was then literally sent on an office coffee run for the first time in my intern career, and I won’t lie, my triple shot latte made me feel warm, fuzzy, and wired.

These types of comfort cravings have been happening a lot lately. I find myself thinking about warm places, blankets, and other aspects of comfort constantly. With finals just around the corner, and final projects and papers and everything in between popping up every hour, a little bit of comfort is all my body seems to want, need, and crave.  Because instilling in myself a sense of comfort can often come from something as simple as a cup of coffee or tea or a blanket, I’ve been really trying this finals season to give myself the security that I’ve been craving.

And with that, I reach my big point of this post. We spend so much of the semester and our academic year being uncomfortable.  Our ideas are constantly challenged, we are academically pushed, and we can even be socially strained at times. I do believe that we are all the stronger because of these things, but it doesn’t mean that we are invincible.  In a space where we are so stressed and overwhelmed, the small moments of undeluded comfort are things that we should take, cherish, and enjoy.  Self-care and mental and emotional health are so important always, but finals week is typically when they start to go down the drain.  As the lack of sleep and the heightened feelings of anxiety and stress kick in, we tend to go into survival mode, but survival mode needn’t be wholly terrible.  This finals week, I know that you’re already being challenged so much, but still I challenge you to find comfort in the little things. Find comfort in the things that make you happy, find comfort in the things that bring you joy, and take that comfort and turn it in to hard work and passion, and finish the semester on a high note.

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Here’s to a productive and proactive finals season, and I wish you all the best of luck.  Have a good cup of coffee under a blanket for me!

Major Major Stress

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So I’ve already mentioned once or twice (or a million times) that thinking about a major majorly freaks me out.

As I signed up for a Fall Break OTL trip to Joshua Tree, I figured the title of ‘JChillin’ would mean a nice break from campus and a respite from the constant questions about my future from various faraway friends and family members.

But I naively overlooked the fact that I was on a 48 hour camping trip with thirteen people I knew nothing about, and who knew nothing about me. And what better way to make small talk on a two hour drive or nine mile hike than to ask the innocuous, “What’s your major?” Even I fell into the trap a few times while trying to make conversation.

The question wasn’t too hard at first. I would mechanically reply, “I’m still undeclared, but probably English…?” and my hiking buddy would nod approvingly before moving on to the next segment of small talk.

I had almost made it to the clear, and could see myself simply spouting my stock reply forever–until the car ride home. Covered in dirt, three shades darker from the desert sun than I had been two days prior, dreaming of In-N-Out and on the verge of a nap, I heard the question I had been shirking one more time. Before I had time to think of a reply, “Oh, probably English but I’m technically undeclared” floated from my lips. I figured that would be enough to satisfy my backseat neighbor, and breathed a sigh of relief. Too soon.

Instead, I heard a follow up question that I had never even considered, “And what is your favorite period of literature to study?”

I was dumbfounded. If I could have dissolved into the drab upholstery of the CR-V’s backseat, I would have. I could barely stammer out a reply, but my mind was racing.

I don’t have a favorite period of literature? Do I need to have a favorite period of literature? What even are the periods of literature I could choose from? Does this mean I’m an uncultured swine? Should I pick a different major? Do I even know anything at all about English as a field of study?

As I tried to cover up my ignorance, I mumbled a half-coherent and half-relevant answer about my favorite author. My cheeks burned and I prayed we would reach Claremont before the seemingly harmless questions further shattered my confidence.

Thankfully, the conversation moved onto fast food, math geniuses, lobster dinners and sports, but the question was burned into my mind. As soon as I got back to campus, I frantically sent an email to my English professor to get a better understanding of what it means to be an English major. Hopefully I didn’t sound too desperate – and hopefully I won’t feel as mortified walking out of our meeting as I did during that car ride!

Midterm Season

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If I can’t tell it’s midterm season from the plethora of approaching assignments lined up in my planner, I have another surefire way of knowing. I spontaneously begin losing things left and right.

First it was the laundry I had left out to dry in the laundry room, next it was my headphones.

It feels a little bit like the more I try to stuff into my brain and my schedule, the less room there is for me to remember the little things in my life. According to this Huffington Post article, stress isn’t just making me forget where I’ve put everything that isn’t attached to my head, it’s also shrinking my brain. I’m more than a little bummed to hear that my noggin has been making me feel stressed for trying to get work done and rewarding me with less brain power in the process.

200wI had just worked out the perfect schedule to get all of my work done on time, get enough sleep, even go to the gym a couple times a week. But suddenly, the frequent all-caps reminders in my agenda started to appear more urgent.

To tell myself that I was getting work done, I would methodically go through every assignment – read 100 pages of this for Core III, 50 pages of that for Sociology, the 3 articles for French – that is until I got to the item in all caps at the bottom, “WORK ON PAPER DUE MONDAY.” A sudden wave of sleepiness and anxiety would wash over me and I assured myself, “I’ll do it tomorrow” as I again wrote “WORK ON PAPER – SERIOUSLY” in the next day of my planner. Instead, I got extra reading done for my other classes, completed extra credit, finished less stressful homework that wasn’t due for the following week.

It was already the weekend and my outline was barely finished. I ditched plans and even skipped a networking event that I had been truly looking forward to attending. Worse, I completely forgot to let anyone know that I wouldn’t be able to make it – being completely disrespectful and disappointing to those who I had promised I would attend.

I curled up in every possible study spot I could think of, from the Toll browsing room to the Writing Center and Jacqua Quad, and yet my analysis remained half-cooked and disjointed. No matter how many Motley matcha-chachas I treated myself to, none solicited the sustenance to bring the big “Aha!” moment to my paper. I poured over quotes and called on friends, but nothing seemed to help. As the hours to the deadline loomed nearer and my clarity did not, I tried my best to stitch together a paper that I was not proud of.

Somewhere along the progression of my stressed out self, I forgot that this paper was not the only measurement of my value or validity as a person. Despite the many friends over the past week that reminded me, “You aren’t defined by this paper!” the knowledge that these seven pages were worth a quarter of my grade eclipsed their remarks.

At the end of the day, I turned in a paper I was not entirely proud of. And while I know I am not defined by this paper, I am still disappointed in myself for letting my lack of time-management get the best of me, for struggling so much with an assignment, for shirking friends, and for ignoring commitments I had made to others.

As I reach the end of this midterm season, I can only hold myself accountable to remember that telling myself I am ‘ahead’ in everything else does not have any bearing on the progress of my paper. Just because I am stressed over one assignment does not give me any excuse to ignore the rest of the world. But similarly, I also need to remember that a paper is just a paper. It should not feel like it will desecrate my entire being if I cannot execute it perfectly.
Hopefully, releasing the burden of this paper let my brain grow back to its normal size and I will remember this moment before my next paper is due.