Begin:

1 : to set about the activity of: start
2 a : to bring into being : found:  b : originate, invent

— to begin with : as the first thing to be considered

From www.merriam-webster.com

I am four months from graduation, and the question has been repeated over and over. It’s been a constant since childhood. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Many kids changed their dream careers from year to year, as if trying each on. A few knew, and seemed to be born knowing, what they wanted to do. I’m not either of those people. I’ve never really been sure what I want in life. I’ve managed to get to the place where I tell people that I am “exploring different paths” or “going to get some experience first” or am “figuring it out”, but inside I’m thinking I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING WITH MY LIFE; PLEASE STOP ASKING ME.

I’m not actually complaining about the question. My issue lies with the stress it creates. It makes me feel like I’m behind, that I should have my life itinerary printed, color-coded, annotated, and posted on Twitter.

My career is one aspect of the future I am trying to find. But where do I begin? Where does anyone begin? I feel like I’m trying to look at possible futures for myself and I can’t make out anything because I’m blinded by the sheer scale of everything that’s out there. How do I bring my life  “into being”?

I have an idea of some of the careers I don’t want. Mostly I don’t want to work in certain healthcare settings, such as becoming a doctor or nurse, though I have huge amounts of respect for the people who do. I also know I don’t really want to become a therapist or counselor, because as a psychology major, I’ve had a lot of time to think about that one. Things become trickier when I focus what I might want to do. I’m looking for specifics, such as a job, possible locations to live, etc., but what I’m really struggling with is the big stuff. The life-goal stuff.

Last semester, I realized that I really needed help with this. So I went to CP&R and met with Valinda Lee. It was amazing, and I would recommend them to everyone. One of the main reasons I wanted to blog here was because of how helpful they’ve been, at getting me started and keeping me going.

Over the course of my meetings, I learned two things. First, that nothing is permanent, and in fact most people go through several careers. So figuring out a career is like figuring out your life, in that you’re never done with it. It’s a process.

Second, I realized that I wanted to get out of school and into the “real world” before I made any big decisions. So suddenly, I have a beginning. Find interesting work, preferably with pay, for after graduation. I don’t need to plan out the next ten years, just the one.

That realization, that I only have to worry about a little bit of the future at a time, is incredibly motivational for me. Instead of being blinded by life in general, I can just look and think more about what I want to do next. I feel like I have more time, that I can slow down a little. There’s really no reason to rush.

So by graduation, I hope to know what I’m doing after graduation. And that’s really all I need.