Interviews can have polarizing effects:

1.  You finish and want to curl up into the fetal position

2.  You leave energized, not in any rush to change out of your suit and pantyhose

Clearly, these are two ends of a wide spectrum.

These both happened to me recently: I pride myself on being pretty tough, and clearly I feel like I can offer advice on interviewing.  But even I have rough meetings and interviews.

The first started out well enough, chatting, keeping stories short/sweet and to the point.  He was hard to read and clearly was looking forward to lunch.  He stared at me and interrogated me ‘firing squad style’.  The questions were technical but also amorphous in nature.  There was nothing to grab onto, I felt like I was flailing, no matter that my answers were right.  I wasn’t talking about ME, I didn’t give him details about what I PERSONALLY had done, we were too busy talking about financial statements.  He had clearly taken control of the interview.  Did he want me to wrestle control away?  My attempts to do so were futile and seemed to annoy him.  We got to the end and he looked at me and said, “I just don’t see anything special about you.”  I surprised myself by launching into a three point summary of why I am special and how passionate I am.  He didn’t look convinced.  Two days later I got the impersonal HR email.  Thanks but no thanks.   I left that interview a little deflated and questioning whether I had the potential to pursue this industry.   He had been very convincing that there was in fact NOTHING worthwhile about me as a human being.  (But no, I didn’t get into the fetal position-I went for a run.)

Luckily another interview followed in rapid succession.  I was nervous, afraid that I had lost my knack, as though writing this blog had sucked all my confidence out of me.  I sat down with these two men and the vibe was instantly different.  It flowed like a conversation, I spoke about myself providing details about who I was and where I was going.  They offered words of support or encouragement; nothing sappy just the occasional, “I agree,” or, “That makes sense.”  In this industry, that’s about as touchy-feel-y as we get.  Writing my thank you note was a treat, not a chore, and I left that interview feeling a sense of belonging.  They aren’t the type of firm with a track record for having many women, but they were the type of guys who want an equal.  The word, on Vault (which you should all read before ANY interview–check the CP&R library for it–or BUY it) , and online sources, is that women at the firm are few but treated, “no better, no worse” than men.  That is exactly what I want.

The point of this post is to say that sometimes you will get in an interview and it will go AWFUL.  Fit is real, you might not fit in and you can’t always elbow your way in.  But sometimes you feel a ‘click’.   Ok, sorry for a corny metaphor, you are a puzzle piece.  You can fit different places but there are some places you cannot fit, and some places you fit perfectly.  You can probably work at any place–especially if you have great connections–but you probably don’t want to work for a group that isn’t accepting of your differences.

Think about it: you might have always wanted to work at Company X: because of what you have heard and read.  People are often the best indicator of the firm.  You will be spending the majority of your life with them.  Get a bad vibe?  Finish the interview in a professional manner and get out.  Don’t beat yourself up, there are plenty of places you can find a better fit.