As my friend and I were walking down Elm Tree Lawn, we spotted an adorable Labrador Retriever and her owner, so obviously we stopped to pet the dog. (College students are often severely pet-deprived and therefore appreciate any animal interaction.) While enjoying the smiling, loving pup we started a casual conversation with her owner. Immediately upon hearing that we were both seniors, the question came. You know the one I’m talking about. “So, what are you doing next year?!” It’s always asked so innocently, but somehow always strikes such a sore nerve.

My friend made the decision to go straight to graduate school after Scripps to get a Masters in both Social Work and Public Health. She was just accepted to one of the best programs in the country, so she knows that she’s at least going somewhere but isn’t 100% sure where yet. For her, answering this question may be equally annoying, but at least she has a clear answer.

“I’m going to grad school,” she said with ease.

“Oh how wonderful! And what about you?” asked the dog owner, shifting her attention to me.

“I, um, I’m looking for a job,” I sheepishly commented.

“Oh! Well, good luck!” A not-uncommon response these days.

It’s not necessarily that I mind answering the question, and in fact I think that by being asked more frequently, I am becoming more comfortable with my response. But, this moment was probably the millionth time that I’ve thought about my decision to not go straight to grad school. Usually I am the kind of person that knows exactly what I want and go straight for it, and this feels like the first time in my life where I truly don’t know where life might lead me. There was definitely a lot of pressure around the decision of whether or not to apply to grad school. Continuing school is a very attractive option: it’s a solid and reliable plan, it feels “safe”, and it avoids the job market. Sounds great, right? So why didn’t I apply?

The short answer is that I don’t know yet why I would be going. As of right now, I know that I am interested in clinical psychology, nonprofit administration, and higher education but there isn’t a clear direction for me in terms of how having an advanced degree would help me pursue my future career. I love school and learning, so it was extremely difficult to give up the possibility of being a student next year, but I know that if I went I wouldn’t be doing it for the right reasons.

Speaking of going to grad school for the wrong reasons, I found called this funny video called “So you want a PhD in Clinical Psychology?” You could probably find a similar video for many, many professions, but I found this one particularly relevant to me. A senior psychology major goes to talk to her professor, who has a PhD in Clinical Psychology, expressing her own interest in pursuing the same degree. The professor proceeds to tell her all the reasons why it is a horrible idea to get a PhD, and encourages her to take another path instead.

My favorite line is when the student says, “I want a PhD. I think it’s cool people will call me doctor.” Good reason to dedicate a substantial amount of time, energy and money to graduate school? I think not. I appreciate that the professor is really honest with the student about the challenges that she might face in her pursuit to be “called doctor.” However, I think that the professor could have given her some more constructive advice about how the student should have some real-world experiences to support her endeavor to pursue a PhD in Clinical Psychology. In any case, I’m glad I’m not the student in the video. I think she would be sorely disappointed with her decision to stay in school.

Even though the decision not go to straight to grad school was a difficult one, I hope that my experience in the next few years will help me understand the benefits and reasons behind pursuing an advanced degree. One thing’s for sure, I’m not going to grad school just so people can call me doctor.