It might surprise you that I, as a writer of this blog, have often found trouble motivating myself to look for jobs and internships, or to apply for summer programs. When I’m working on homework or watching a baseball game, I’ll suddenly remember that there’s something I should be doing for my search…and a lot of the time, I put it off. A few minutes later, when I realize that I’m procrastinating, I ask myself, why? What’s keeping me from putting my all into the process? Do I have some subconscious hatred for internships?
The answer, when I think about it, is somewhat complicated. There are a few reasons, I think, that I oftentimes push looking for internships and campus jobs aside in favor of homework and relaxation.
The first is obvious: doing homework and watching TV are much more satisfying. They have clear end results—every time you fill out an application, you don’t know if anything will come of it! Also, because I’m not eligible for need-based financial aid, finding a job on campus was a difficult, ongoing, and draining process. Some jobs are withheld for work study students (and rightfully so), and many others don’t pop up for weeks or months after the semester’s started. The only thing you can do in the job search is to keep looking, and it’s much easier said than done. There are only so many times you can check The Gateway and walk away disappointed before it begins to take a toll on your self-esteem.
As for internships, a lot of my lack of motivation stemmed from the way I perceived them. Here’s how I thought about internships for several years: They’re something you have to do in order to get a real job down the road. Most of the internships advertised when I was visiting colleges were with businesses, law firms, or government buildings, which, naturally, didn’t appeal to me in the slightest. And it was something I had to juggle along with schoolwork?! The mere thought of it stressed me out. I felt pressured to get an internship, not because I wanted one, but because I felt I needed one to succeed.
As a first year, I filled out my career interests for CP&R, and they began to send me internships that fit my goals. Many of them did interest me, but I had the wrong major or not enough qualifications. I was discouraged, and I stopped looking for internships for a long time. When people talked about their summer plans, I began to panic. I participated in an intensive Korean language program last summer, so I was off the hook then, but now? I had zero travel plans and not a single job prospect. It was around this time that I finally met with CP&R, in full panic mode about my empty summer. I was probably one of the least prepared people they’ve ever met with, but a few months later, I have (almost) everything in order and lined up for May.
How did I turn myself around? A little bit of luck. (And self-induced pressure, which I do not recommend.) But how do you motivate yourself for the seemingly neverending, draining job and internship search? It’s all in finding something you love, and reminding yourself, every time you look for a position, that this is something you truly want to do.