This summer, I set out to gain some experience and (perhaps) find an avenue down which I could see my academic and professional future heading. With my internship in hand and a plan in my mind, I thought that all the soul-searching I planned on doing would be easy.

I quickly learned that it wouldn’t be that simple.

True, my internship has been great—I have learned so much about the field of environmentalism/environmental policy, the operational mechanics of a nonprofit organization, the tasks appointed to the communications department employees, and all about how office life and professional life really works out. This experience has made me much more certain that I am pursuing what interests me. However, the office setting has not provided me with the inspiration and the affirmation that I initially hoped to find in order to be at peace with the fact that I am in the most exciting, enlivening time of my life, making decisions that will shape the course of my life, with the world at my fingertips. The introspective aspect of this summer of soul-searching had been lacking in the go, go, go setting of my internship, and I felt that if I was to continue working in this environment until the end of August, I would need a brief respite at some point.

A few weeks ago, I talked with my boss about working remotely for a few days in order to return to a summer camp at which I have volunteered since 2010. She was very receptive to the idea, since much of my work is based on the computer and I would have access to internet and email during my time at the camp. This past week, I returned to this camp, which is based in a remote location and serves children and adults with disabilities, to instill a sense of order and familiarity in what has become a frenzied, nearly over-stimulating summer. I felt I was being brought back to my roots at this camp—being around the beautiful people who flock here every summer reminded me of the goals I have always set for myself about my life: to leave the world in better condition, even if slightly, than I found it. I know this is probably the last year I will return to this camp, which has been a part of me for so long, and that feeling is bittersweet. I do not think I am going into special needs care, and so it doesn’t make much sense, logically speaking, to be at camp. However, psychologically, touching down here was important to me, and so I am glad I was able to achieve some closure about what has been a part of me for so long and simultaneously feel supported in the new steps I am taking towards finding my course through this world. I needed this break to keep my head about all the changes into which I am coming, and I could not be more grateful that I feel at peace with the fact that all these important, exciting changes are happening so quickly.

I have returned from camp, where I was still doing remote work for my internship, and will resume in the Sacramento office on Monday. I feel ready, both to face the rest of the summer and to face the rest of the decisions, the triumphs and travails, the work that comes with working in and contributing to this sometimes crazy, always beautiful world of ours.