I recently read a post on LinkedIn titled “23 Signs You’re Secretly An Introvert.”  I’ve never considered myself an introvert—I’m never one of the quiet ones in class, I am a relatively social person, and I’m even a tour guide for Scripps (where your main job is connecting and interacting with the people on your tour)—but Gregoire, the author of the piece, has convinced me that I am, in fact, an Introvert.

Gregoire presents her article in numerical list with #4 being the number that I found most intriguing.  It reads, “Networking makes you feel like a phony.”

I’ve been told over and over again by mentors and peers that networking leads to as many, if not more job offers after graduation compared to completing the grueling process of applying to numerous companies that interest you throughout your job search.

Yet, the process of networking pains me.  As Gregoire explains, networking feels “disingenuous” for introverts.  Not only disingenuous because it doesn’t have the authenticity in interactions that Gregorie suggests introverts need, but because I didn’t think it was fair for me to be given an edge that perhaps some of my peers may not have access to.

Nevertheless, this summer I decided to face my fear and begin networking.  If I was so set on having a job after graduation, I knew I needed to put in the work to get there.  Part of that work was going to be networking so I figured I should start as soon as possible.  I contacted my parents and mentioned I was thinking about going into Human Resources and asked if they knew anyone who worked in Human Resources.  They did, and in fact, I knew many of the people on my own as well (parents of friends, parents of peers from my high school, family friends).  So I began “networking.”

I called and emailed with various adults in Human Resource fields, and it surprised me how willing to talk to me each of the people were.  They were getting no benefit out of the conversations and often times, the interaction was actually taking time and energy from their day.  Yet, I never contacted someone and had them turn me down or say they had no time.

The authenticity that I looked for in the relationships with people I networked with is something that will never be fully there.  There’s no way to connect deeply with everyone you network with, but it doesn’t have to be “small talk with the end goal of advancing your career” as Gregoire suggests Introverts believe.  I’ve learned so much about Human Resources and my career search, in general, from the people I networked with.  I feel that I’ve really tried to genuinely learn from the people I talked with and to go into conversations with more than just having an end goal of advancing my career.  For an introvert, being able to establish more than just career advancement in these relationships has been the key to overcoming my fear of networking.