Making friends as an adult is a weird thing. I’ve been working through the process of developing relationships since my earliest social interactions. However, this all becomes more complicated when the individuals are much out of your age range or seemingly have no (apparent) common interests with you.

This was a situation that I had to navigate at my internship this summer. For example, many of the women in the office would talk about their children and their marriages. I (a 19-year-old, childless woman) often worried about when it was appropriate to engage in these conversations and when to be silent. Other women in the office were much older and had a greater collection of life experiences than I did. This is one of the most daunting situations for me. I always worry that when I tell them about my life and my choices, they know that what I am doing is wrong. Or perhaps they think, I have experienced this many times—how cliché.

My experience in the office actually made me realize how great it is to have older people as friends. Most of the time, they enjoyed hearing about my life and actually were able to offer meaningful and thoughtful advice. But maybe you don’t feel like sharing parts of your personal life. Perhaps their advice isn’t something you deeply value. Either way, establishing positive relationships with everyone you meet is a great quality. It is something that I strive for and truly hope to improve on.

One of my biggest challenges socially is that I have a hard time initiating interactions. I hardly speak to strangers unless spoken to. Once spoken to, I almost always have wonderful interactions—it’s just the getting there that is hard. In the office, I developed my relationships toward the end of the summer. It took me a long time to make myself ask questions and speak up. None of this was because I was disinterested; it was simply because I felt too shy.

Something that I hope to do during my next summer in the office, and even in my classes next semester, is to be more outgoing. I know that becoming an outgoing person does not mean that I need to become a different version of myself. Instead, it means that I need to make a deliberate effort to smile, demonstrate interest, introduce myself, and make eye contact. I even think that I could work on this in some of the relationships that I have already established.

Have you had similar experiences in the workplace? Any tips for becoming more outgoing? I’d love to hear your comments below.