Tag Archives: etiquette

Staying Humble, but Confident

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“I am extremely self-motivated and always willing to help others. I am a team player and an extremely empathetic person. [I am] a true leader is a person who can manage their group all the time.”

These are all sentences that I have written on applications in the past in answer to such questions as “How do you embody [insert position]?” or “What are your strengths and weaknesses in [insert work environment]?” As you can probably tell, these are all positive, desirable traits that I have and am hoping to accentuate. However, they are all sentences that, while I truly believe about myself, I am not particularly comfortable saying out loud or touting about. I’d like to consider myself a humble person, someone who doesn’t always think highly of myself and who is not always confident in my capabilities. Therefore, I don’t like going around arguing definitively that I am the best, like no one ever was! *high five for nerdy reference* I much prefer to use terms like “I believe”, “in my opinion”, or “I would possibly be able to” to describe my skills and abilities.

Though, as many of you may already know, excessive humility isn’t exactly a desirable characteristic when it comes to applications or interviews. There is a very thin line between humility and a perceived lack of confidence, which is considered a negative trait. Just because you’re humble doesn’t mean you’re insecure or incompetent. If you are too humble, however, your true capabilities will become eclipsed by your insecurities. In actuality, employers and interviews want to see an exertion of confidence and a personal knowledge and assessment of your skills. More than your potential shortcomings, which they can develop and train, they want to know if you are, at your core, a good fit for a position

Striking the right balance between accentuating your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses to an employer is key and can be the difference between making a great first impression and failing to display your true talents. If you find yourself in this pickle, here are some tips for staying humble, yet confident in interviews and applications.

  • Answer Honestly: Capitalize on your humble character traits by answering interview questions honestly. Interviewers can usually tell when a candidate is overstating qualifications, fabricating work skills or concealing relevant information. Listen attentively to the interviewer’s questions and answer the question directly. If you avoid a question or purposefully change the direction of a question, the interviewer might wonder whether you’re hiding something. Use your humility to answer questions with truthful answers, always remembering to shed the best light on any situation.
  • Equal Numbers: Your interviewer may ask for an exact number of strengths and weaknesses, but if she does not, state an equal number of each. This will make you appear balanced in your understanding of your abilities.
  • Weaknesses That Are Really Strengths: In your list of weaknesses, try to include at least one “problem” that really indicates dedication to your work, such as, “I’m too critical of myself,” or “I can be a workaholic.” These positively-spun weaknesses can not only be molded by a specific boss or employer, they also show an attainable level of flexibility and change. Speaking of which…
  • Self-Improvement: Be sure to also discuss the ways in which you’re working to improve on your problem areas. Subtly mention the ways in which you like to have coworkers and bosses help you with this issue. This will get your interviewers imagining you in the position and the ways in which they can aid you while you are aiding them.
  • Recognizing Others: One of the best characteristics of being humble is the ability to look beyond personal self-interests to those of others. Honor your previous employer and co-workers by telling the interviewer how much you appreciate your previous work experience. Offer sincere praise and state specific details so you don’t appear to gush false sentiment or offer insincere flattery.

If you are still having trouble, please feel free to set up an appointment with one of the fabulous CP&R counselors to discuss application and interview tactics!

 

Lessons From My Mom: How to Be a Great Intern

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Until I came to college, I never truly understood all the lessons my mom passed down to me. From sending hand-written thank you cards to treating everyone with respect, I’ve picked up some important life lessons that I’m now finding are especially important in the job search. I’d like to dedicate this post to my mom who has played a hugely important role in my personal and professional career development.

My mom’s advice to me often comes from her own experiences. Working in the workforce development field for over 30 years, she’s become an expert in all job-search related areas. Before I left for college, I’d hear parts of stories that I’d hear about ten times over again in the following months. Yet, these lessons have remained with me and continue to shape how I act. I can’t even remember how many times I was in situations at internship sites where I thought, “My mom was right! This is what I should do in this situation.” Here are some tips that I’ve found to be particularly helpful.

1)    Communicate upwards.

While interning, your boss probably won’t know everything that you’re doing. Some of the tasks you do may be directly for her, while others may be for other people. Remember what you do! Busy bosses don’t always have time to keep track of what their interns are doing on a daily basis. Periodically, inform your boss of what you’ve been doing in the order of importance. This serves 2 purposes. Your boss has a written record of what you are spending your time doing and you simultaneously build your credibility within the organization.

2)    Do lunch. Often.

Accept invitations to have lunch with others. Think of this as an investment into your future. Unless your work has an upcoming deadline requiring you to work through lunch, take the time to go to lunch with people you work with. You can learn more about the culture of the business, ask about any assignments that you might have questions on, and most importantly, create more dimensions to your personality. This is something I’ve found to be hard to do, as I know I tend to be “all business, all the time.” Going to lunch allows others to get to know you on a more personal level.

3)    Treat everyone like you’d treat your own boss.

When you’re an intern, everyone is your boss. Really. This is extremely important. The receptionist you pass on your way to your cubicle every morning could be the deciding factor on whether or not you get to return the following summer. Asking if you can help file documents, make copies, or pick up lunch for staff members are ways you can make good impressions on people.

Having a mom working in employment and training has helped me make small changes that have big, lasting results. I hope you find these tips helpful!

Doing my Part to End the Gender Gap

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The facts surrounding the gender gap in the professional world have been drilled into my head repeatedly through attending Scripps and through my regular reading of online feminist media like Jezebel and Feministing. However, despite my disgust with the information I was reading and my desire to take action, I had never absorbed the statistics I read as applying directly to me.

My brain had somehow compartmentalized the gender gap information into a folder of interesting information that didn’t affect my life. My career, my dreams, my goals, they couldn’t possibly be limited by percentages quoted in articles.

I never paused to consider that each factor in those percentages was a career full of hopes and dreams just like mine until I read “Promote Women: Use Your Network to Solve the Gender Gap” by Ann Friedman and Amanda Hess (an article posted on Good News, which I discovered via Feministing). This article focused directly on the media industry – the exact field I’m looking to enter – and indirectly referenced statistics from the Women’s Media Center, which found that the media world is overwhelmingly male, and the gap is only growing.

However, instead of sharing the statistics and moving on, like I had allowed myself to do so many times before, the article placed me (and every other reader) in the center of the problem, stating that, “Reading big statistics, it’s easy to place yourself in a bystander role. You acknowledge that women are underrepresented in your industry … You know that they are far less visible, and probably paid less, than men of equal experience. You’re frustrated … But what have you ever done about it?”

The article then walks readers through steps to help alleviate the gender gap. First, think of three women in your industry who are under recognized. Then, think of three powerful contacts in your industry who could assist them. Finally, email the influential professionals and recommend your female friends.

Admittedly, it’s not an overnight solution. It’s not even a solution I can contribute to at the moment, as I’m lacking in influential friends. But it’s a solution that can work.

For now, I’m going to take advantage of the process by forgoing the middleman. In my search for a summer internship, I discovered that I’m only two degrees removed from an education writer at the San Jose Mercury News. When I found out they don’t offer traditional summer internships, I was going to let the chance for contact drop. Now, I’m preparing an email to initiate communication. Because, who knows? Maybe she’ll be the professional who knows a professional who can help me do my part to help end the gender gap.

Another Tricky Situation

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These just seem to happen to me far too often. Muse on this:

You’ve just accepted a fantastic internship position. Your application / interview process is over and you’re ready to move on to the next step: finding somewhere to live in a new city. Then something happens that makes you take pause. You get a call from one of the internships you had applied to a month earlier – one you were really interested in. They went over your application and want to schedule an interview. What do you do?

Would you do what I did and politely squeak out a contritely apologetic “I’m so sorry, I’ve already accepted another offer”? Or would you, as my mother recommended, take the interview – for the experience only, of course – knowing you couldn’t take the internship if they offered it? (I know no one out there would take the interview and then backtrack and take the offer if it came.)

It’s another tricky situation, and again, one that I’ve been in before (last semester in DC, no surprises there). It’s funny how these things seem to repeat themselves.

I chose to not to take the interview both times. I’ve always been very into steps, clear progress, and checklists. Applications? Check. Interviews? Check. Offer? Check. Backtracking just doesn’t make sense to me, even for the “experience.” I can’t even stomach the possibility of getting the offer and knowing I would have to turn it down, especially if it was a particularly appealing position at an ideal company. (This is all on top of the fact that I’d be wasting the employers time.) I can, though, see why some people might be tempted to do it anyway to get the experience.

These sticky situations are what makes the internship search so frustrating; it’s not like the college application process where you know at one time what all of your options are. I’ve had to carefully navigate them, but what’s “right” for me might not be “right” for everyone.

It is so cold in Portland right now

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Apparently I’m somewhat fixated on the weather, but it has been cold here to the point of unreality—at least, it feels unbelievably cold as I sail downhill on my bicycle.

I have had a dull couple of weeks; a few hiccups in the unpaid internship that have been very revealing and informative about how to go about setting up a good dynamic with the people I work with, especially the line between jocularity and hostility. Also, I am excited that I could use the word “jocularity” in a sentence without sounding completely ridiculous.

Onto equally vague but more cheerful news: as I was deciding whatvariety of cupcake a dutiful offspring might bake for a parent’s birthday, I received an email from a friend that works in the same office as I do, about an open development position. She had received the email from one of the social justice non-profit organizations she worked with over the summer, and forwarded it to me.

Of course, earlier that week, I met the director of said organization in an elevator with a bicycle, and given the following conditions:

a) Sleepy

b) Frozen into a person-shaped icicle by a 12 mile bike ride in 34 degree weather with 20 mph gusts

c) Being me

I, of course, neglected to introduce myself.

I feel like I can see Valinda bringing her hand to her forehead, and shaking her head side-to-side slowly and unbelievingly. At least, that’s what I wanted to do once I sat down with a cup of coffee and my 1800-piece auction solicitation mailing, even before I knew they had an opening.

The position has quite a bit of event planning, which gave me pause before I started thinking about it. I chatted with my friend E* and one of my awesome former boss-folks who reassured me that this was definitely something I could do. And looking at my resume and remembering that I have done programming and some event planning, as an RA, worker in the Annual Fund and as an alumna volunteer, the event-planning component seemed far less intimidating.

Plus, one of the responsibilities of the position involves mailings, and I have a somewhat abnormal love for managing mailings and managing data.

Admittedly, after five hours of papercuts, my abnormal love is being somewhat taxed by this enormous auction solicitation mailing.

*The one that worked at the college that sent me the information for the open position in California