I have a new obsession, and for once, it’s unrelated to Gilmore Girls. I’m obsessed with learning about negotiation.
Pretty weird focus considering the amazing alternatives that Netflix supplies. (Source: giphy.com)
Before winter break, I planned to prepare for my job offer negotiations by eating a lot of chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream and Golden Oreos. However, this plan was probably not going to be productive, especially when I remembered that during the “Bridging the Gender Gap” workshop last semester I learned that the first negotiation is crucial for defining the rest of our careers, from title, to bonuses, to salary. Obviously, it was going to take more than a lot of junk food.
In CP&R there is an entire section of the library dedicated to Job Offers and Negotiation, and in it I found the book, Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever. If you have any qualms about negotiation (regardless of your gender identity!) I highly recommend this book. Not only did it help me understand why I need to negotiate (and subsequently motivated me to do so), but Babcock and Laschever talk through strategies to help with the process itself.
So I know that everyone reading this post has ample free-time because it’s not like we are swamped with classes, theses, extra-curriculars, job searches, and, you know, Tumblr. But in case you don’t have the time to read Ask for It right now, I thought I’d tell you how it allayed my particular concerns…
WHY AM I DOING THIS?!
The first line of the book illustrated my feelings about negotiation perfectly. “If you’re a woman, you probably have a voice inside your head that whispers: ‘Are you sure you’re as good as you think you are?” (Once again, this can apply regardless of gender identity…) I totally have that voice. That voice wants me to take whatever is offered because it thinks that offer will be the only one and it’ll be the best I can possibly get. Babcock and Laschever remind us otherwise. “That voice is not the voice of experience and it’s not your common sense. It’s not even your voice. It’s the voice of a society that hasn’t progressed nearly as far as we like to think, a society that’s still trying to tell [people] how they should and shouldn’t behave.” And if there’s one thing we’ve learned from our Scripps education, it’s that we’re NOT going to let this patriarchal society dictate our behavior, so that’s why we’re doing this.
WHERE DO I BEGIN?!
We begin by realizing that negotiating isn’t just for the Big Things like a job offer or a pay raise; we do it, or don’t do it, every day. Personally, I don’t want to ask for help on my CS5 homework because I don’t want to inconvenience my friends. Sometimes, I refrain from asking if the workload in a group project can be redistributed so I don’t have to pull an all-nighter. These examples, and more, fit under the negotiation definition that Babcock and Laschever created for us. Realizing that it’s ok to take up space and ask for things in our daily lives is our practice for those Big Things, simply because we’re learning how to ask. You can start by asking for something easy, like requesting that your lab group meets at a different time that’s better for you, and work your way up. Sometimes we’re going to hear, “no,” and that’s ok. It’s not a reflection on us and it’s not a reason to stop asking.
HOW DO I PREP FOR THOSE BIG THINGS?!
Ok, I’ll admit, there’s not quite as much as stake when you’re asking your partner to make dinner three times a week as when you’re negotiating your starting salary… However, this is the moment when you get to do something you’re already great at: research. We do it daily for classes, now we just have to apply it to the real world. Using sites like glassdoor.com you can learn what the salary is for a similar position in the same location. These numbers will help you create a salary range. You can also research similar positions’ job requirements, so you can see how your qualifications stack up against others’. Additionally, you need to keep in mind that negotiation can apply to more than your salary; it can cover everything from you title to your start date to a signing bonus. Then you write out your goals and AIM HIGH. And you trust me that you’re worth whatever number/title/date/bonus you wrote there, and you’re probably worth more. (Or you can make the time to read Ask For It, and you’ll believe it!)
Negotiation is scary and it’s not going to be easy, but it’s unquestionably worth it. Below you’ll find some other links that can help with the process, but they aren’t our only resources. Please comment with your own experiences and advice so we can work together to make this process less intimidating!
Online Resources: