Tag Archives: We Do What We Want

I Think I Can… I Think I Can…

Posted on by
Reply

I cannot believe how fast this semester (or this year!) has gone by… This time last year, I was stressing about my Research Design in Psychology final, packing up my double in GJW, and trying to enjoy my last week with the seniors. I was going home to St. Louis, MO to continue on my path towards being a zookeeper, and I was excited to see the monkeys and lemurs I had missed so much. This year is a little different. I’m still stressing about my finals, but less so, since I loved all my classes. I haven’t even considered packing yet, which is definitely going to cause problems. I’m still trying to make the most of the time left with our amazing seniors, but I know my friendships extend beyond just our campus. And the big one… For the first time ever, I’m not going home to St. Louis, MO and I won’t spend this summer in my khaki uniform creating enrichment for primates. I’m moving to San Francisco and I’m working at a tech company. I guess that’s kind of different.

I don't think the khaki shorts and tan shirt stained with bleach will cut it in downtown San Francisco this summer...

I don’t think the khaki shorts and tan shirt stained with bleach will cut it in downtown San Francisco this summer…

I loved when I was asked in interviews, “So, you’ve worked in a zoo for three years. Now you want to work in Human Resources at our start-up?” I’m not sure why my enthusiastic, “Yes!” was always met with shock. This path seemed natural. I realized though I loved zookeeping, I couldn’t do it my whole life. After talking with some friends I realized I wanted to be a Pocket Scrippsie, and I looked for places I could make a difference. However, getting a job at those places was the tough part.

I’ve been applying for internships since October 2013. I finally accepted an internship in March 2014. It was a long time and a lot of work. But I don’t regret a second of it. All of that work brought me to where I am. Now, I know a lot about tech companies. I’ve learned so much about cover letter and resume writing. I’ve experienced the painful waiting period when all of the applications are turned in and then you wait and hope to hear back.

Somehow, all of that work made it feel even better when I made it. I did it. I’m still amazed that it happened. When I started applying people told me, “Don’t worry. You’ll get something.” “Give it time, you’ll find something.” “Of course you’ll find something!” I honestly didn’t believe them. Nothing indicated that this dream I came up with on a whim could actually happen.

But it did.

So to anyone who is reading this and has a similarly impossible dream, I say: GO FOR IT. If not now, then when? Right now is when we can take chances and try new things and find our path. PUT IN THE EFFORT, it’s worth it. I sent out twenty-one applications, and heard back from six. Don’t let that get you down. You have an amazing community supporting you. I know I couldn’t have done it without constant encouragement from fellow Scrippsies, professors, and of course, everyone at CP&R. So TALK TO PEOPLE and ASK FOR HELP. ASK QUESTIONS and DO NOT ASK FOR PERMISSION. You have every right to try for that dream, no matter how unattainable it might seem. You might not get it, but you’ll have met great people, learned a lot, and you might even find a job better suited for you. It never hurts to try.

I’m trading my khaki shorts for dark-wash-jeans and my hose for a laptop. I’m working inside at a desk rather than climbing exhibits and washing dishes. At the beginning of the year my resume said Primate House Intern, Advocate, and Peer Mentor, by this time next year it will say HR/Operations Intern, Advocates Leadership, and Career Consultant. And who knows? It might have another job title I haven’t anticipated yet. But I can tell you that all the work that went into getting these jobs was unquestionably worth it.

If I can go from cleaning exhibits and feeding animals in St. Louis, MO to designing trainings and working on organizational development in San Francisco, CA, those unimaginable dreams must be worthwhile

Go for it. This is the time, because we’re Scrippsies. And, as always, we do what we want.

I’m Not “Just” Wondering.

Posted on by
Reply

Confrontation is the most foreign concept to me, but last week, I decided to give it a try. There are a lot of things I want to change in the world, but to do that, I’m going to need to speak up. When I told two friends about what I was thinking, one said, “Are you PMSing this week, or did you just become a badass?” (Then, of course, we spent five minutes discussing whether or not the question was problematic. #ScrippsLife. I decided I liked it; equating PMS to badassery is great in my book.) However, when I attempted to confront some problems in a meeting, a friend mentioned after that she hardly noticed that I was “calling them out.”

My confrontation style is… well… not confrontational. What’s scary is that in that meeting, I felt so far from my comfort zone simply because I was pointing out a problem and asking for someone to do something about it. I wasn’t asking for anything unreasonable and I wasn’t being demanding. Merely the idea of asking made me uncomfortable.

As I thought about my non-confrontational confrontation style, I remembered an article I read about how often women use the word “just.” Ever since I read that article, I proofread everything I write and almost always find myself deleting “just” once or twice, particularly from emails.

  • “I was just wondering if I could have that by tomorrow?”
  • “Were you planning on coming to the meeting? Just curious!”
  • “I’m just following up about the interview.”
  • “I was just thinking that it might be a good idea to finish the project early.”

WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN TO BE “JUST” THINKING?! Nothing. These “justs” were unnecessary. I was doing exactly what Ellen Leanse described in her blog post: asking for permission.

I don’t like to ask for things and I don’t point out problems. I hint at them or request permission to point them out and voice my opinion. But I want to stop filtering my opinions. I want to voice my point of view without any hesitation. I’m not going to go around judging everyone and insulting people. I’m going to remember that my opinion is valuable and I don’t need permission to share it. People don’t have to agree with my ideas, but my thoughts are worth discussing.

I want to delete “just” from my spoken vocabulary as well as my written one. I wonder what would have happened if, when requesting that someone send some information to me, I said, “Could I have that by tomorrow?” Rather than, “I was just wondering if I could have that by tomorrow?” I’m not asking anything unreasonable, yet my hesitation may have given him that opportunity to avoid the task, which left me with way too much work.

Before I leave Scripps, I want to learn that I don’t have to ask permission or hesitate when confronting problems because I have even bigger ones to solve in the “real world.” If I waver there, I could miss my chance. If I can’t do it here, where we savor our feminist discourse and revel in discussions where our beliefs are challenged, then I can’t do it anywhere.

I’m taking Leanse’s advice, “Then, to riff Nike: well…. ‘Do it.’” Is anyone else up for the challenge?

Checking My Feminism

Posted on by
Reply

I’m pretty confident with my feminism. Yes, sometimes I have to check my privilege or need reminders to think critically, but all in all, I trust myself to always take a third-wave-feminist perspective.

Well, last week I failed at that. Luckily I had my amazing 17-year-old cousin visiting to keep me in check.

Last Friday, at the end of an interview with the CEO of a company I’d be OVERJOYED to have the opportunity to work at, I was told I’d be receiving a job offer the following week. I could barely keep my voice steady as I responded, “I look forward to hearing from you!” (The squeaking with excitement didn’t happen until I had fully quit Skype… Just in case…)

However, after the initial shock and excitement, I started to worry and question things, as I tend to do.

My concerns stemmed from the fact that my boyfriend works at this company. I already cringe when anyone tries to imply that I’m moving to the Bay just to be with him. So, in my head all I could think was, “What is it going to look like if we work for the same company? Will it look like I don’t have my own life? Will it look like I’m afraid to get out on my own? Will it look like I need a partner in everything I do?”

This is when my cousin’s voice of feminist reason brought me out of this downward spiral of concerns,

“AnnE. Isn’t it just as bad to not take a job you want
just because your boyfriend is there?” 

She let that sink in for a minute then said,

“Why don’t you just do what you want? Do what’s best for you?
And don’t take him into account either way?”

sOh. Right. That’s the kind of feminist I am. As soon as she said that, I was back. Being a feminist doesn’t mean avoiding and trying to dissociate with men, it means doing what’s best for me and only taking those factors into account. And it NEVER means worrying about “what other people think” or “what something will look like to others.” It’s easy to forget that sometimes, which is one of many reasons I love my feminist friends who keep me in check. My cousin’s voice of reason was echoed by other friends later that night. No one said, “Oh, but isn’t that where your boyfriend works?” Everyone was excited for me. The judgment I anticipated was only in my head.

So for the third time this semester, I learned what it means to be a Scrippsie and a feminist. We don’t do what others expect. We don’t do something just for a boyfriend. (And for that matter, we don’t NOT do something because of a boyfriend.)

We do what we want.

And I want this job.