Category Archives: Dorie

Cookie Cutters, Time Machines, and Lots and Lots of Questions

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If, someday, I miraculously came into contact with a working, reliable, and free-to-use time machine, you better believe I would make the most of it. Ultimately, I would probably want to go back and give myself some advice on how to make the most of high school, college, and everything in between (first tip would be to my 8th grade self: girl, please let a professional handle your eyebrows this early in the game…..seriously). Now that I’m a senior, and the end of my time at Scripps rapidly draws nearer and nearer, I think I’m pretty qualified to go back and give myself some guidance, especially considering everything that I have learned since starting my first day of high school all those years ago. Sure, I think I handled myself decently well, particularly through some of those awkward years I know we’d all like to forget happened (braces and bad haircuts a terrible sense of fashion, oh my) but there is always some room for improvement. That is why–with the gift of hindsight–I know that, if I had the chance, I’d definitely want to do some of it all over again, and that is precisely the kind of guidance I would want to give young Dorie.

For one thing, the idea that there is any kind of ‘one size fits all’ life plan should be thrown out the window. I remember starting high school and thinking that I would totally have my entire life figured out by the time I graduated–complete with a dream career goal, a solid understanding of myself and what I wanted out of life, and a definite knowledge of where my life was headed. Well, I can confidently say that literally none of those things happened once I crossed the graduation stage with my diploma in hand, and to think that I actually thought it was possible to have all of that figured out at age 18 is just silly to me. I mean, I’m well on my way to turning 22, and I still don’t think I have any of that stuff figured out–nor should I have to! But, again, that’s the beauty of hindsight.

Now, this is not to say that there aren’t people out there who do have their lives all spelled out, with a strong understanding of self, and a feasible and well-structured life plan just waiting to be executed. I know plenty of people, in both high school and in college, that firmly believe in what they are doing, know where they’re going, and are very happy in their decision to follow that path. These kinds of people are amazing! In fact, I used to envy these people, so much so that I tried my hardest to emulate them: picking a specific job title and basing my whole academic and extracurricular life around it, only to quickly realize that that path was not the right one for me. And, the thing is, it’s not the right path for a lot of people–yet we are constantly expected to know the answers to these kinds of things, and make big life choices that will absolutely affect us for the rest of our life before many of us even know what we really want.

It seems to me that my life has been a series of questions since I became a junior in high school: first, it started off with, “So, what colleges are you looking into? Do you know what you want to major in yet?” Then, first semester senior year of high school, it moved into the always enjoyable (especially the 476th time someone asks it–so, so much fun!!!) “So where are you applying? Do you know where you’re going for college? Have you heard back from any schools?” As high school graduation drew near, the questions became more pointed: “Where are you going? Where did you get into? What are you going to study? Did you tour there? Aren’t you excited?” Once I had graduated high school, I naively thought the questions would stop–little did I know that I would be peppered by these same kinds of questions for the next 4 years, varying only slightly to encompass the next big stage of adult life: post-grad plans.

The problem I have with all these kinds of questions is that they inherently equate success and maturity with having a clear and dependable life plan. There is no wiggle room left for the natural uncertainty and feelings of apprehension that–realistically–we have all probably felt when making such huge life decisions at such an important time in our life. I think the constant battery of these questions as we are growing up (for me, these questions started around junior year of high school, but depending on the individual, can often start even before that) has an extremely detrimental effect on the way in which we think we need to function. Had I focused more on exploring my passions and learning more about what I wanted in life, rather than following the standard “X number of AP classes + Y grade point average + Z elected positions on campus = successful high school student” formula that is pushed on us more and more these days, I would most likely be a very different person than who I am today; I might even be a little more secure in knowing exactly what it is I want to get out of life, and who I want to be outside of the bubble of the education system–something I didn’t let myself even question until I stepped on campus and realized how much I had been limiting myself.

What I know now is that there is no cookie-cutter formula to success, and no singular “right” way to get yourself through high school, through college, and out into the real world. There are certainly things that make it easier–like time management, motivation, a strong support system, etc.–but even with these helpful supplements, thinking that everyone needs to do X, Y, and Z in order to be “successful” is one of the most damaging and constricting notions that is repeatedly pushed upon us, and something I think desperately needs addressing.

That’s the advice I would give young Dorie if I could go back in time–if you had the chance, what would you want to say to your past self?

The REAL”F” Word: The Future

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I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty nervous about finding a job after graduation. In fact, I’m only just starting to come to terms with the fact that I’m actually quite terrified about finding a job after graduation. This is largely due to the fact that conversations about the future still freak me out, even at my ripe old age of 21 (the word ‘mortgage’ actually makes me shudder, I kid you not), and I’m definitely still having a difficult time dealing with the fact that this really is my last year here at Scripps. It seems like just yesterday I was receiving my first roommate assignment in the mail (and subsequently “researching” them on Facebook for the rest of the day), buying all my dorm room essentials from Target, and getting ready to start my life as a first year in college. How could that possibly have been 3 years ago? I can’t even begin to visualize what my life will be like in 3 years time, let alone what I’ll be doing this same time next year.

Of course, I definitely have an idea of what I’d like to be doing this same time next year—how I go about achieving this goal, however, is the daunting, looming dark cloud hovering over the far-off land that I lovingly refer to as “my post-grad future.” I, like many other Scripps students, had the opportunity to study abroad the fall semester of my junior year, and I, like many other Scripps students, fell deeply and irreversibly in love with my study abroad experience—so much so that I want to return abroad as soon as possible. I was lucky enough to study in London, at Queen Mary University in London’s East End, and to say I simply ‘miss’ it would be the understatement of the century. My sharp cravings to go back to the East End are a daily—if not hourly—occurrence; ones that not even the best of my #tbt photos or nostalgic journal entries can easily assuage. I dream of nothing more than going back and walking alongside the canal, saying hello to the outrageously rude (but very pretty) swans that block the path, stocking up on the few items I can cook with using my very limited knowledge of the culinary arts at my local Sainsbury’s, and hopping on the tube and taking a stroll down to St. Paul’s Cathedral at dusk, taking hundreds of pictures of the 4 pm sunset and annoying my abroad friends by trying to get the shot just right. If you’ve ever met me in person, you will very likely already know all of this already—apparently I have a hard time keeping quiet about how much I loved being abroad in London, and how serious I am about returning ASAP.

With this in mind, I attended a CP&R Workshop called “Send Me Abroad (to work!)”—as part of the incredible “Life After Scripps” event series that is currently happening on campus—and boy am I glad I did. I learned so much about how to go about finding a job abroad, let alone finding one that will accept me, and how to begin the seemingly impossible task of securing not only a job across the pond, but also housing, the correct visas, travel plans, and a livable compensation for the work I will (hopefully!!!) be doing.

One of the key takeaways from this meeting was to be focused and goal oriented: it’s not easy to pack up shop and move across the world, but if the motivation and the desire are both there, it definitely won’t be as difficult. I now have a better idea of how I can visualize my goals of moving back to London and use that as the driving force to keep me on-task. I also learned in the workshop that breaking this whole process down into more doable, smaller steps is the key to keeping up the hunt for a job; but really, this advice can be applied to pretty much anything you do, especially something as intimidating and logistically-complicated as planning out your future goals and executing them. Additionally, I learned that one can never do too much networking. Seriously. Networking is the best thing you can ever do, and although it’s kind of formidable and sometimes feels weird, learning how to do this now will absolutely have you better prepared for life in general.

Does this mean I am completely at ease about my own future and the career path I want to pursue? Especially one outside of the United States? Absolutely not……..not even close. But, I am definitely starting to visualize how my overwhelming desire to move back to London and work there will benefit me in this endeavor down the line–like when I am inevitably faced with rejection, complication, and even some sheer bad luck. I know that this is not going to be easy, but I also know that if I’m willing to put the work in and maintain my focus, the payoff that will come with the perseverance necessary in pulling this off will make it all worth it–even if it doesn’t quite feel that way right now.

All In This Together

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First of all, hello! My name is Dorie, and this is my first blog post for the site. I’m so excited to be a part of this team of insanely smart, talented, wonderful, blogging ladies! I thought I’d keep the topic of my first post close to my own heart, by touching on a very important issue that can sometimes be overlooked in times of heavy stress (hello, thesis!!!): having a strong support system.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in one of those unfortunate, black and white infomercials where nothing is going right.

I feel you, girl.

As a senior (…it still sounds so weird to me), I feel like every time I see a fellow student—be it in-between classes, briefly in the dining halls, or loitering around Seal Court—the conversation goes something like this:

One of us: Oh hey, how’s it going?

The other one of us: *Dying whale noises, accompanied by various hand gestures indicating both complete exhaustion and an inability to properly articulate how busy everything is right now*

It boggles my mind how much we are expected to be juggling right now: thesis (for all of you taking it on this semester), all the work for our other classes, part-time jobs, thinking about and making plans for our futures, figuring out finances, applying to grad school, finding careers, moving across the country/world, networking, interviewing—not to mention the social and personal lives we are trying to maintain in the meantime! Between relationships, friendships, family things, and all the aforementioned things, it’s really quite overwhelming how much we have on our plates these days. This is not to say that only the senior students are feeling this way: definitely not the case. For me, it just seems like I am at this giant precipice in my life, and the various pressures that are pushing and pulling me one way or another can sometimes feel suffocating, limiting, and totally disheartening.

When I start to feel this way—sometimes hopeless, and often times lost in this sea of responsibilities, expectations, and life decisions I will have to make eventually—all I have to do is remember what that wise sage Troy Bolton once sang to me, all those years ago: “we’re all in this together.” Amidst all the midterms, thesis deadlines, and job applications, it is so easy to feel like these struggles are unconquerable, and that everyone around you is, somehow, handling everything just fine, while you are drowning under the sheer weight of everything you need to do each week. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not just you. In fact, I’m here to tell you that you are probably handling everything way better than you’re giving yourself credit for. Trust me.

It is so important to remember that, as overwhelming as everything might feel right now, there are so, so many resources on this campus that are here to make your life easier. I’m not just talking about Scripps resources—although there are tons that you can definitely take advantage of (like the CP&R office!)—I’m talking about the strong, powerful individuals you have been learning, living, and laughing with for the entirety of your life here at Scripps. Be it the people you live with now, a study group you are a part of, or your roommate from freshman year that now lives across campus, there are people all around you, both on-campus and off, that are more than willing to help you through these tough times, if you give them the chance.

Look, I know better than anyone that asking for help can be scary—there is a certain vulnerability and weakness about opening up that can sometimes discourage you from getting the academic, mental, and emotional support you might really need, especially when the going gets tough. But, just remember that you’re not alone in feeling stressed, or inadequate, or even that there is no way you’re going to be able to finish this thesis by the second week of December (although this last one might be a little biased). And, if getting the support you need comes from someone that isn’t a part of the Scripps community—such as your family, or your friends from high school—that’s not weird, I promise, just do whatever you have to do! Checking in with your friends and family on how you’re doing can feel so reassuring, and even if you might not know how to begin the conversation, you will definitely feel better after the conversation ends.

So, just remember, we’re all in this together, even if it doesn’t feel like it. The next time you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, try and remember what a good friend of mine once said: “It’s okay to have no idea!” Just as countless numbers of students have done before you, you will make it through this. Will there be ups and downs? Absolutely. Will there be highs and lows? No doubt about it. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, and there are more people than you can probably think of who are all rooting for you, and are more than willing to go out of their way to help you get there. All you have to do is let them.

(Did you really think I could end this post without leaving this here for your viewing pleasure??? Please. You’re welcome.)