Tag Archives: first internship

“I’m bad at math,” and other lies I tell myself.

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This past week, I found out that I was offered a spot in an internship program that I applied for a few months ago. I am incredibly excited, but most of all I am so relieved that it worked out, and that I have one less thing to worry about.

This internship acceptance came at a good time, especially because these past few months have been filled with constant talk of internships, jobs, majors, study-abroad, housing, and all of the other long-term stuff that sends my mind into an anxious whirlwind. I have had many moments where I have felt like a “failure” for not securing an internship, and for not majoring in something “useful” or “lucrative.”

I recently declared a major in “Humanities: Interdisciplinary Studies in Culture,” and while I think it is a good fit for me, I often find myself wishing that I could have majored in something more “impressive,” like biochemistry or neuroscience. Nothing is stopping me from pursuing those majors, but they just don’t feel like majors that are right for me. In addition, for most of my life I have convinced myself that I am horrible at math and science, which rules out a lot of majors and minors. In hindsight, I think a lot of my hatred for these subjects stems (no pun intended) from some negative experiences I had with these subjects in elementary and middle school. I have told myself that I was bad at certain subjects for so long, that I eventually internalized it and began to hate them as well.

It also doesn’t help that I have a twin brother who is much more mathematically inclined. He is majoring in computer science, and I often find myself jealous of the fact that he is, in my opinion, pursuing such an impressive major.

I have done a lot of reflecting on my strengths and weaknesses this past semester, and I think I have become much more at-peace with the fact that I enjoy social sciences and humanities much more than I enjoy math or most forms of science. The thing is, we need all sorts of people in the world, and the fact that I am not going down a pre-med track does not make me any less valuable as a human, it just means I have different interests, strengths, and goals than some other people. Does the fact that I’m not majoring in a STEM field make me ‘less smart’ or ‘less hard-working?” Not really. Will people judge me for majoring in a kind of vague and potentially ‘less rigorous’ major? Probably. Does that matter? Not really.

And while I am still pretty convinced that I don’t have a mind that naturally “gets” math, I had a really positive experience with a science class last semester that pushed me outside of my academic comfort zone, and really caused me to rethink some of the lies and half-truths that I tell myself. I took a chemistry class called Land Air and Ocean Science to fulfill my natural science GE, and even though I was filled with trepidation (it had been quite a few years since I had taken a chemistry course,) I ended up LOVING the class. A large part of this was due to the fact that the professor understood that everyone in the class was taking it for their GE, and that many of us did not consider ourselves to be “sciency.” Thus, she tried really hard to make the material clear, engaging, and straightforward. Like I said, I have had some really negative experiences with math and science classes that left me feeling stupid and incompetent, so this class was such a breath of fresh air.

Overall, this class also helped me realize that it is not always helpful to narrowly categorize ourselves. As mentioned, my twin brother and I kind of grew up knowing that he was the “math-and-science-one,” and I was the “reading-writing-social-science-one.” We both placed ourselves in narrow categories that probably did us both a disservice through making us believe that we weren’t really capable of doing the things we were less talented at.

Me, when it comes to math.

Me, when it comes to math.

There have probably been a lot of things I have missed out on in life because I have convinced myself that I’m bad at it. I am now determined to stop categorizing myself in unhelpful ways, so that I will be more willing to go out of my comfort zone and try new things—even if I fail at first. Honestly, if I ended up loving a chemistry class—something I never thought was possible—then I can imagine there are so many other “lies” I tell myself that are probably not entirely valid. In the end, I have mostly come to terms with the fact that it’s okay for me not to love certain subjects, but I am also determined to challenge some of my internalized notions about what I “like” and “don’t” like, and I suggest that we all try this exercise out more often.

When I Grow Up: Pursuing Your Childhood Dreams

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When I was younger, I wanted to be everything.  I went through phases pursuing every career path in the book, bouncing from doctor to archaeologist to dancer and back again, just as many kids do.

When I was in 6th grade, I thought that I found my life’s calling.  I had always loved to read, and I though being at school was quite fun.  Me, being a fairly practical child, already understood that teachers didn’t make a whole lot of cash, so I went and declared that my ultimate goal was to become an English Literature professor.  I had my whole life plan set out: attend undergrad, get my doctorate, and then get hired at a prestigious institution where I would become world-renowned as one of the most prolific, young, and hip members of my academic community.  Any of you who have read my past posts, or know me at all, will recognize that this is not at all the path that I have been pursuing as a young adult.  Nonetheless, I followed my path of literary classics all the way until second semester of my second year of high school.3-1

Sophomore year, I was enrolled in AP Biology. I realised that I loved books, but I loved biology even more. I decided I wanted to pursue a career in medicine. I saw a life filled with genetics and diagnostics flash before my eyes. I basically wanted to be House, except with a better bedside manner and a tad less cynicism.3-2

I once again threw myself into pursuing the path that I thought was “the one.” However, one of my good friends told me that I would never be a human doctor because I was meant to be a veterinarian. I laughed and blew him off every time that he said this, which was a lot more frequently that you would think. Little did I know that he was 100% correct. But hey, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Throughout high school, I volunteered at a hospital, read anatomy books, and looked for colleges that I thought would best situate me to get into medical school. I did all of the right things, but something still didn’t feel right. Every so often, my friend would nudge me toward animal medicine, and every time, I would shut him down. I couldn’t be a vet, I thought. It’s too sad, too depressing, and even though I love animals, I know I couldn’t handle it.  If I cry just at the thought of that Sarah McLaughlin SPCA commercial, how could I ever see sick animals on a daily basis?3-3

Then, during the second semester of my first year at Scripps, I was offered a veterinary summer internship at my local animal shelter. I felt so conflicted, but finally decided to take the plunge and try it out. On my first day there, I fell in love with the world of veterinary medicine and haven’t looked back since. My friend has never let me forget it.

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Looking back, I laugh at how silly and stubborn I was when I was younger, always chasing the dream of the year. As funny as I think it was, truthfully, I learned so many lessons from those dreams, most importantly how to pursue true passions. It might take some time to find the right career fit, but when you do, give it your all. I am meant to be a vet, and I truly believe that the joy that I have found in this career path is special and waiting out there for everyone. If there is one thing to take away from this post, let it be this: believe in your dreams just like you did as a kid and pursue your passions. Your drive will take you far, and you will never regret it.

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The First Foray into Professional Life: Finding A Summer Internship

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When I came to Scripps, I had a three-page resume and could not define “curriculum vitae” or even “business casual.” Fortunately, I never had to implement any of these professional necessities before seeking a heavy dose of TLC from CP&R.

But alas, the time has come to start putting all the skills, documents, and important career information I have built up over the past year to the test. Summer internship season has arrived.

I underwent the gruesome processes of assembling my resume into a single-page document, wrote cover letters, and perused The Gateway, Idealist.org, and Life Connections. But with no definite major and no concrete decision about my future plans, what was I to do next about summer plans?

Never turning down the chance to explore, I attended the Panel on Careers in Writing, Publishing, and Media earlier this month. After speaking with CMC and Scripps alums with experience working in fields I might be interested in pursuing, I connected with them via email and LinkedIn to keep in touch and begin to build my network.

A minor, somewhat comical, digression about LinkedIn: I am new to the professional networking site, and if you are too, I recommend avoiding humiliation by not sending requests to connect to your entire email contacts list… I unwittingly sent invitations to my uncle, the mayor of Claremont, and half of the CP&R office simply because they were in my contacts list. I am now happy to be connected to these people, but be careful and be sure to (intentionally) send personalized requests to anyone with whom you wish to network.

To return to the topic internship searches, my advice is this: never turn down an opportunity or a chance to travel down roads you can potentially see your future heading towards. My resume took its maiden voyage into the professional world when I sent it off to a nonprofit organization that works to create policies regarding environmental protection and restoration. My dad, as an environmental lawyer, works with a man who attended Pomona as an undergraduate student and was excited enough about my status as a Claremont student that he was happy to put me in contact with the organization. After a phone interview, I was offered a position of communications intern. I am still working out the logistics of this opportunity, but the fact remains that I would not have gotten this chance had I not taken all the necessary steps and put myself out there beforehand.

Making sure to have all the basics down is the first most important step, but if it is unclear about where to go from there, sniffing around potentially interesting opportunities almost always turns something exciting up. I was able to secure an opportunity after probing opportunities offered by the panel, LinkedIn connections, and the discussion I had with my dad. At any stage of career searching, an open mind and an assertive willingness to experiment might be all it takes to find an incredible opportunity. Now is the time to say yes to everything… and even to risk making mistakes while they are remediable (and while there are resources like CP&R available to help work with them). So build that network (purposefully and responsibly so as not to annoy every person you know)! Talk to that professor about research opportunities! Attend that lecture! You never know where it might take you.

Introductions and First-Year Assumptions

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Greetings! My name is Stephanie. I am a current first-year and an excited new CP&R blogger. I am really looking forward to share my experiences and my knowledge about all career-related things through this outlet in the coming months. In this first post, it might make sense to offer some background about where I come from and what I have been up to in my time at Scripps.

I was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. As I came to understand the fast-paced way of life in the cultural, social, and political hot spot over time, I also quickly determined how I hoped to one day contribute and fit in to this engaging society.  Very early on I was drawn to the art of communications.

In August 2012, Claremont became my new home. With a naïve, yet determined, belief that I knew exactly how my future would turn out, I resolved that English and Media Studies would be my intended fields of study, as these subjects seemed to correspond with my interests in journalism.

As the weeks went on, I became more familiar with the opportunities offered by Scripps life and less confident in my initial decisions regarding my major. G.E.s, cocurriculars, and a plethora of interesting people have a way of wedging open narrow mindsets. It did not take long after interacting with these engaging influences to determine that my interests span across a wide variety of disciplines; this both excited and worried me.

By the end of my first semester, I was unsure of what I wanted to study and more anxious than ever before about not knowing what could happen in my future. Upon registering for spring classes, I decided to continue with my G.E.s so I could keep dipping my toes in different subjects without committing wholly to one field. Politics, environmental analysis, anthropology… is it possible to study everything? My expanding brain unwittingly relinquished the control I once felt I had over my future, and I ended up where I am now, in this spring semester, on unsteady feet. How is it possible that I will be declaring in one year?

Despite my wary attitude towards The Great Unknown (as I have since renamed my future), I have found that the mind-stretching quality of college has been a great blessing.  Without awareness of all the paths, the ideas, and the opportunities that are out there (to which I have become somewhat privy in my short time at Scripps), how could I have ever known what I wanted to do?

So what have I learned? You do not need to know exactly what you want to do with your life before entering college; an open mind is actually extraordinarily helpful! Part of my college experience has been learning along the way, and because of this I hope I will have confidence in the path I decide to follow… as I figure it out. This summer I am pursuing an internship with a nonprofit organization around the Bay Area with the intention of better gauging and understanding potential career options. I will be detailing all these experiences through this blog in real time! With the help of CP&R, I look forward to making The Great Unknown a little less daunting and a little more tangible without losing any of the excitement.