Overcommitting and Learning to Say “No.”

This past week I have felt particularly overwhelmed with scholarship applications, cover letters for summer jobs, and choir performances coming up, all in addition to keeping up with my classwork, which included writing papers, finish problem sets, and preparing for the last exams before finals.

I am normally pretty good at organizing myself, keeping track of my assignments and projects in my planner, but recently I have not been doing as good a job at keeping up with it. Generally, I do better when I write things down so that I can refer back to my list later, but I have been feeling like I don’t even have enough time to write everything down that I need to do.

I called my mom to talk to her about it and the biggest things she noted were that I had 1. Overcommitted myself this semester, and 2. That it was a result of me having a hard time saying “No.” I have had this discussion with my mom multiple times, because I often overcommitted to activities and clubs in high school. But I have also talked about it with my friends at school, because I know that I am not the only one who suffers from this problem; many of the students at Scripps, and the 5Cs more generally, have a hard time saying “No.” In many ways, I think it speaks to the large number of interests most students here have. I know many people who are tutors, who are on a sports team, and are also science majors. Others are activists, members of multiple clubs, and students abroad. That was one of the first things that drew me to Scripps, but I also think that it can be a detriment to mental health and the ability to enjoy our time here.

My parents always remind me that college should be fun, and that I should be giving myself time to be with my friends and have time to myself. Oftentimes, I feel like I need to be doing something productive all the time, and I am realizing, as more and more time goes by, that, not only is that nearly impossible, but it is so important to have time where you’re not worried about being productive. If you are worried that you might be overcommitting by taking on a new responsibility, here are several things to ask yourself when you are making your decision:

  1. Will this activity make me happy? Is it something I enjoy doing?
  2. How much extra time will this activity require of me, and do I have that time to give? Even if I technically have the time to give, will it use up time I was planning to use for studying or relaxing? Will it create a back to back list of things to do on a certain day?
  3. What part of my overall health is this fulfilling?
  4. Is it something that’s necessary to my overall wellbeing?

If you answer no to any of these questions, it would be worth it to reevaluate why you are considering taking on this new responsibility and really think about what it will add to, or take away from, your life.

Have any other suggestions, or have your own experiences with overcommitting? Share and comment below!