Tag Archives: mental health

Overcommitting and Learning to Say “No.”

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This past week I have felt particularly overwhelmed with scholarship applications, cover letters for summer jobs, and choir performances coming up, all in addition to keeping up with my classwork, which included writing papers, finish problem sets, and preparing for the last exams before finals.

I am normally pretty good at organizing myself, keeping track of my assignments and projects in my planner, but recently I have not been doing as good a job at keeping up with it. Generally, I do better when I write things down so that I can refer back to my list later, but I have been feeling like I don’t even have enough time to write everything down that I need to do.

I called my mom to talk to her about it and the biggest things she noted were that I had 1. Overcommitted myself this semester, and 2. That it was a result of me having a hard time saying “No.” I have had this discussion with my mom multiple times, because I often overcommitted to activities and clubs in high school. But I have also talked about it with my friends at school, because I know that I am not the only one who suffers from this problem; many of the students at Scripps, and the 5Cs more generally, have a hard time saying “No.” In many ways, I think it speaks to the large number of interests most students here have. I know many people who are tutors, who are on a sports team, and are also science majors. Others are activists, members of multiple clubs, and students abroad. That was one of the first things that drew me to Scripps, but I also think that it can be a detriment to mental health and the ability to enjoy our time here.

My parents always remind me that college should be fun, and that I should be giving myself time to be with my friends and have time to myself. Oftentimes, I feel like I need to be doing something productive all the time, and I am realizing, as more and more time goes by, that, not only is that nearly impossible, but it is so important to have time where you’re not worried about being productive. If you are worried that you might be overcommitting by taking on a new responsibility, here are several things to ask yourself when you are making your decision:

  1. Will this activity make me happy? Is it something I enjoy doing?
  2. How much extra time will this activity require of me, and do I have that time to give? Even if I technically have the time to give, will it use up time I was planning to use for studying or relaxing? Will it create a back to back list of things to do on a certain day?
  3. What part of my overall health is this fulfilling?
  4. Is it something that’s necessary to my overall wellbeing?

If you answer no to any of these questions, it would be worth it to reevaluate why you are considering taking on this new responsibility and really think about what it will add to, or take away from, your life.

Have any other suggestions, or have your own experiences with overcommitting? Share and comment below!

Organizing Your Days, Weeks, and Months…and Staying Sane

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It can be really hard to maintain the multitude of things going on in your life. With classes, clubs, sports, labs, and friends, it can often feel like there’s not enough time for everything. Here are my tips for maintaining your sanity amidst it all.

  1. Be diligent about writing down your assignments, meetings, doctors appointments, and other important events down somewhere. It helps to have a planner so that you can organize yourself by day, week, and month. This also makes it easier to look ahead and see what events you have coming up that you may need to prepare for.
  2. Make sure to take careful note of events that are not usually a part of your schedule. These are often the hardest things to remember because they are not a part of your daily routine. If you think that that will not be enough, you can highlight it, write it in a pen so that it stands out from your writing in pencil. That way, there is a much smaller chance that you will miss it and then forget about it.
  3. Color code things! This helps me so much because I know that when I see a certain color, it means a specific event is coming up. For example, I write all my upcoming quizzes and tests in bright blue. That way, when I leaf through my planner, I know that I have a test on the days with bright blue.
  4. Plan out what you need to do over the weekend before the weekend starts. I often find that if I try to plan my homework for the weekend on Saturday, it overwhelms me, and I often don’t end up getting as much work done. If I can write out everything I need to do before the weekend hits, I have a better chance of getting everything done. It is also important to note that there are always lots of fun things going on over the weekend, so when planning everything you need to do, it can be helpful to decide what time of day you want to accomplish certain tasks. That way you can also schedule time to spend time with friends and relax.
  5. Check things off your list! Personally, I find nothing to be more satisfactory than crossing something off my list of things to do. If you write something down in your planner or on a piece of paper, it means it was important enough that you didn’t want to forget to do it, which means that when you’re done with it, you get to say farewell to that task and definitely cross it off the list.
  6. Be realistic with your goals and the amount of work you hope to get done in a day. I oftentimes find myself writing down too much for the time I have in the day, and that often leaves me feeling disappointed that I didn’t get more done and, maybe even, behind on my assignments. That’s why being realistic is so important. If you can set realistic goals for yourself, you are more likely to reach them and feel content at the end of the day.         
  7. Schedule time to be with friends and to relax. I often find myself only writing things down that are related to my studies or meetings, but self care is so important and for many people, that involves spending time with friends or being alone. It is easy to forget how important it is, but writing it down will not only remind you to take that time, but also remind you of its gravity.

How’d you do on the test? Looking past a bad grade and making the most of the experience.

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Classes are hard to manage on their own, especially when you’re trying to balance a sport, extra curricular activities, clubs, etc. And when you get a test or paper back that you really needed or wanted to do well on, it can feel like the floor is opening up beneath you when you see that letter or number that is much lower than you wanted. Sometimes it feels like it’s a dream, like it couldn’t possibly be real. Sometimes, I wait to look at my score, just so I can delay my disappointment, and sometimes I feel exactly like Christina does above. The truth is, it’s hard to deal with a low score or grade and it’s hard not to let your mind wander and conjure up all the horrible things that will happen because of that one paper or test. It’s hard to remember that one test is not going to make or break your college career and it’s even harder to admit that maybe, just maybe, you and your studying habits were a large portion of why that score was so low.

I will say that there are times when professors are “weird” graders, where you got docked points for something so trivial, even when it was obvious that you knew the material. But a lot of the time, feeling upset about a grade often stems from knowing that we could’ve done more to prepare, could’ve spent more time developing a thesis, or spent more time in office hours. This is hard, because we have to admit to ourselves that we have messed up. But in so many ways, this can be liberating, because it means that, although we had the power to make those mistakes, we also have the power to amend them and work harder the next time. For me, I like to make a study schedule, where I just study a little bit each day leading up to the test. If I have a schedule, I am likely to stick to it and thus, I get all the studying done that I want and don’t have to worry about running out of time the night before. First I make a list of everything I want to do to prepare, and then I map out when I will get each of those things done. By doing a little bit each day, it makes the whole process a lot less daunting and relieves a lot of stress.

When you know that you have studied everything you felt was most important and that you spent a lot of time preparing, you can go into the test with more confidence. That in itself makes such a difference. There have often been instances where I make a mistake, not because I don’t know the material, but because I am not confident enough, end up second guessing myself, and changing my answer at the last minute. For me, that is the worst feeling- when you know that you knew a certain concept, but it didn’t show on the test. And sometimes I really do feel like this:

Tests and papers can be daunting and the grades you get on them can seem like the end of the world if they’re not what you wanted, but no test score or grade is equivalent to your worth as a human and it’s unlikely that one bad grade can determine your success in or after college. Your grades do not tell anyone anything except for how well you showed your understanding of a specific material on that given day. Remember that you are so much more than your grade. 

5C’s Happiness: Myth, Legend, or Naturalism?

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One thing I’ve noticed here at the 5C’s is how happy everyone is all the time. Even though it sounds great, it’s not natural for people to be happy 24/7. In fact, it’s more natural to have days where you feel sad, or upset by something going on in your life, and it’s even more natural and healthy to let those feelings out. Although we’d like to be, it’s just not possible. As Meredith graciously states for us below, being happy all the time does not mean you’re mentally healthy. Being mentally healthy constitutes something different for everyone and no one’s mental health, or their coping mechanisms, should be compared to someone else’s. As my RA stated last year, “it’s okay not to be okay.” And she couldn’t be more right. Sometimes we feel like we should be happy because it’s sunny out and everyone is friendly and we get to go to school in Southern California surrounded by some of the most amazing people, but the truth is, sometimes we don’t feel awesome or grateful or glad to be here, and that’s okay. It’s totally normal, and it’s important to recognize those feelings.

I recently wrote a post on self-care, and although this is somewhat similar, I feel that it’s important enough to write about emotional wellbeing in addition to self care. I often feel that when I am sad or upset about something, I have nothing to warrant those feelings, when in reality, I have every reason to have my feelings validated. For me, it is hardest when I see that it’s sunny outside and yet, my inner mood is anything but a sunny disposition. I’ve also seen this happening with my friends and I really think that everyone could benefit from a quick reminder that it truly is okay not to be okay.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by your feelings, remember that it’s okay to let them out and that there are many resources to help you work through them, if that is something you would prefer.

Either way, you should feel free embrace your emotions and let yourself be not okay if that’s how you’re feeling, and it can be hard when everyone seems happy all the time.

Making Self Care A Priority

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College is one of the most exciting times of our lives. We have freedom like we never have before, we get to pick all of our classes, we have no parents or guardians living with us, endless opportunities to join clubs, do sports, and meet tons of new people. It feels like the world is finally opening its doors and we can do everything and anything we want.

Although this is liberating, where we feel like a force to be reckoned with, it normally lasts for a week or two, and then reality sets in. Living on your own means that you have to regulate everything yourself: when to do laundry, when to eat, study, get exercise. In addition, we have to regulate our own schedules beyond our classes. How many clubs can you join? Will you do a varsity sport? How much time will that eat up? These are all things we have to think about and it can be a hard transition to make sure there’s a balance between them all.

Most of the people at the 5C’s are extremely good at managing everything and are always willing to offer advice to help make sure their friends and peers are balancing everything in their lives. What I see more and more often is that people often prioritize the care of other students, before they prioritize their own. I am definitely guilty of this and have a hard time making sure that I have time to get all my work done, enjoy my extra-curricular activities, and also spend time with my friends and relax. Self care is so important, but often doesn’t take precedence in our busy schedules. That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be there for your friends, but you can’t help others as effectively if you aren’t in a good place yourself.

Recognizing when you are stressed or overwhelmed and taking a step back to evaluate how you can reduce that stress is crucial to staying mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy. Sometimes, you realize you haven’t exercised in a while, so you go to the gym to clear your head, or you spend a night with your friends watching movies or having a dance party. But sometimes you just need to treat yourself to a bubble bath or a soft pretzel.

 

jess

When life gets to be too much, we often feel alone and isolated by our feelings, but if you are feeling down, there are so many resources and people whose job it is to help you talk it out. You can always contact your RA, the dean of students, a parent, or a friend to work through your feelings. In addition, Scripps and the 5C’s offer free counseling if you would rather talk with someone who has a completely objective perspective.

The most important thing about self care is recognizing your feelings and realizing that they are completely valid, even if they seem outrageous or silly. The truth is, most people are going through similar situations and realizing that can also be very comforting. I know for me, I have had to cut back on my activities this year, in order to maintain my sanity and emotional wellbeing. That is allowed and totally valid. If your stress comes from grades, know that you are not defined by your grade. It does not define your self-worth, or even what you will do in the future. Everyone will love you the same, even if you don’t ace your next midterm.

So embrace your feelings, even when they seem silly and take some time to treat yourself every now and then.