Tag Archives: self-worth

Making Self Care A Priority

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College is one of the most exciting times of our lives. We have freedom like we never have before, we get to pick all of our classes, we have no parents or guardians living with us, endless opportunities to join clubs, do sports, and meet tons of new people. It feels like the world is finally opening its doors and we can do everything and anything we want.

Although this is liberating, where we feel like a force to be reckoned with, it normally lasts for a week or two, and then reality sets in. Living on your own means that you have to regulate everything yourself: when to do laundry, when to eat, study, get exercise. In addition, we have to regulate our own schedules beyond our classes. How many clubs can you join? Will you do a varsity sport? How much time will that eat up? These are all things we have to think about and it can be a hard transition to make sure there’s a balance between them all.

Most of the people at the 5C’s are extremely good at managing everything and are always willing to offer advice to help make sure their friends and peers are balancing everything in their lives. What I see more and more often is that people often prioritize the care of other students, before they prioritize their own. I am definitely guilty of this and have a hard time making sure that I have time to get all my work done, enjoy my extra-curricular activities, and also spend time with my friends and relax. Self care is so important, but often doesn’t take precedence in our busy schedules. That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be there for your friends, but you can’t help others as effectively if you aren’t in a good place yourself.

Recognizing when you are stressed or overwhelmed and taking a step back to evaluate how you can reduce that stress is crucial to staying mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy. Sometimes, you realize you haven’t exercised in a while, so you go to the gym to clear your head, or you spend a night with your friends watching movies or having a dance party. But sometimes you just need to treat yourself to a bubble bath or a soft pretzel.

 

jess

When life gets to be too much, we often feel alone and isolated by our feelings, but if you are feeling down, there are so many resources and people whose job it is to help you talk it out. You can always contact your RA, the dean of students, a parent, or a friend to work through your feelings. In addition, Scripps and the 5C’s offer free counseling if you would rather talk with someone who has a completely objective perspective.

The most important thing about self care is recognizing your feelings and realizing that they are completely valid, even if they seem outrageous or silly. The truth is, most people are going through similar situations and realizing that can also be very comforting. I know for me, I have had to cut back on my activities this year, in order to maintain my sanity and emotional wellbeing. That is allowed and totally valid. If your stress comes from grades, know that you are not defined by your grade. It does not define your self-worth, or even what you will do in the future. Everyone will love you the same, even if you don’t ace your next midterm.

So embrace your feelings, even when they seem silly and take some time to treat yourself every now and then.

We’re halfway there….

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Wow! It is already late July, marking the just-past-the halfway point of my summer internship. This blog post will include some of my reflections of my internship so far, as I try to give myself an accurate self-evaluation.

The Good

From other internships, CP&R programs, and older Scripps students I learned the importance of networking. With this knowledge, I say “yes” to invitations for events, and even ask my supervisor for the OK to attend events with her that I see on her schedule. This can be awkward [at least for me, someone who worries about seeming too assertive] but I’ve realized the worst that could happen when you ask your boss if you can attend a meeting or help with a project, is that he/she says “no”. And what’s so bad about that? Since I’ve been putting myself out there with other people, besides my direct manager, they have repeatedly come to me with diverse assignments, allowing me to see different parts of the office.

Working with a small staff that includes several recent graduates has allowed me to start picturing where I’d like to be post-graduation. I’ve been able to talk to ever staff member about what their steps were after graduating college. I started thinking about what I liked/disliked about my overall work experience here, not just on the task that was on hand [I realized flexible work hours are very valuable, as well as having a supervisor who is close at hand].

The Could-Be-Better

I could always be asking for more work, if I could sit in on meetings, etc. Asking for access to more projects than I am given is a challenge for me because I worry about how it reflects on me. However, I’ve realized that I will get much more out of my time at the internship if I speak up and make myself useful.

I want to learn more about the institute I’m supporting. It is easy to go into an internship and complete your assignments and learn about the day-to-day tasks in the office. However, I’m hoping to understand the history, publications, and mission of the institution. In the remaining month of the internship I plan on setting up informal interviews with staff members to learn more about what they do, and what the organization means to them.

I’ve loved my internship so far, and the staff have been supportive and kind. It’s sad that I’m halfway done, but reflecting on the past few weeks helps me realize what more I can do here in the office!

In Search of Success

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Before I start, I want to share “Building Nests in Windy Places”— the Scripps 2011 Senior Commencement Speech delivered by Joss Greene. I watched the speech yesterday and was inspired to write this blog post. Joss so beautifully articules everything I have personally been grappling with this past year– how to define success on my own terms, how to achieve a school/life balance that is happy and healthy, and how to envision and start creating a future of fulfillment and value.

Joss opens the speech by challenging the audience with this question: “Who gets to say what is a worthwhile use of your time?” One change I can readily identify in myself since arriving at Scripps is the way I perceive and prioritize my time. I realized after sophomore year that I constantly felt overwhelmed and exhausted from self-imposed stress– activities and classes that I chose of my volition. It occurred to me that I was challenging and pushing myself for the sole reason of testing my limits and capabilities. Instead of being enriching and interesting, these added activities/ projects/ classes drained my time and prevented me from investing energy in other things I enjoy and value– things as simple as my hanging out with my friends, going to the gym, laying in Jaqua, attending discussions and events on campus, etc. Studying abroad fall of my junior year solidified this need for balance. While in India, I found myself perceivably happier on a daily basis because I was able to enjoy and engage fully with the people and places around me. As a result of this mental peace, I learnt better, produced higher quality work, and felt more academically satisfied and accomplished. Returning to Scripps, I began a conscious and active effort to disassociate my self-evaluations of success with external measures of worth– grades, rankings, purely “resume” activities, and so on. This is an incredibly difficult task, especially for someone who has spent the past 20 years deriving their self-worth from these very same standards. However, had I persisted in defining success as the survival of difficulties, I would have risked neglecting and disregarding my interest in public health and social justice. My change in career values came from these shifting understandings of success and happiness.

As Joss addresses in his speech, a critical step in achieving happiness is listening to and respecting our bodies. For me, a huge part of finding balance has been learning to respond to my body’s signals and needs. For instance, this past week was a whirlwind of work and deadlines, and by Friday I was sick with a cold and felt physically tense from residual stress. So on Saturday, instead of forcing myself to write the section of my thesis due next week, I hopped on the Metrolink into L.A. with some friends and romped around the city for a few hours. I returned from a wonderful afternoon outdoors re-energized and mentally prepared to be productive. I will finish my thesis chapter and accomplish the same amount of work whether or not I went to L.A., but now I can approach my tasks with a reinvigorated and healthier state of mind and attitude. I admit, I still religiously consult my color-coded schedule, but the change has been in not letting the to-do lists compromise my day-to-day happiness.

Whatever I do in the future, whether it be working or going back to school or starting a family, I hope to continue striving to re-define success and worth by my own values and intuitions. I hope to find fulfillment in aspects of my life outside of my position, pay, or title. The following quote has been on a sticky-note on my computer for over a year now. The message isn’t revolutionary, just a reminder to pause and consider if I am living up to this ideal. Scripps, where and how do you find balance? What are your standards for success? 

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” –Anonymous